Devotion

I don't always do what is best for me. Foolishly, I often realize it as its happening. Lord help me.


I often think back to the time that I was in Long Beach and remember it with a sense of romance. I remember what God was doing during that time and felt quite close to Him. I felt that my ministry in church was meaningful and even powerful. I saw God moving in the communities that I was involved in and it was exciting. It was the perfect staging area for my launch into the mission field of Tanzania.

I get these random images through Zemanta. To be honest, this blog doesn't need the seal of Long Beach, just because I mentioned Long Beach, but I did it anyway. Image via Wikipedia

I now often find myself taken aback and feeling like over a year and a half later, I'm further from God. I of course chalk some of this up to seeing the past through rose-colored glasses, but I know that there's more to it than just that. As I've been reminded of the last several days, that distance has a lot to do with the way that I spent my time back then. Namely that during that season, I committed myself to spending a hour with God everyday.


I remember it quite well. I lived in the upstairs of a four unit apartment complex. Our balcony was merely a walkway, but I would set up shop there and look over the city of Long Beach. On top of my spot on Signal Hill, I could see downtown LB and beyond one direction, then Belmont Shore down into Seal Beach and beyond the other way. I set up my little fold out chair, my Oswald Chambers devotional and of course my study Bible. That time was so special, so restful and in the most important way, believe it or not, productive.


Now I find myself too busy to set aside that much time. Its disgraceful really. How I spend my time is indicative of my priorities and not spending time with the Lord is a bad sign. Now, the truth is I still read my Bible everyday and I of course pray everyday, but I'm far less intentional and the time has waned considerably.


I was convicted of this through a couple sermons that I listened to the other day. I always listen to a lot of podcasts, but during my time in the states, I fell way behind. The first was by Darren at the Garden where he challenged the congregation to do very simple disciplines that would bless God and draw us close to Him during Lent ("So two rabbis get into an argument..." on The Garden Church Long Beach iTunes podcast) and the second was by Becky Tirabassi at Rock Harbor, emphasizing the importance of the Bible and having that daily time in the word ("The Good Book: Love It. Read It. Live It" on ROCKHARBOR Messages iTunes podcast) . I knew that these two messages were just for me.


I had been holding out on starting my "read it in a year" NIV Bible, because I wanted to finish reading through my entire study Bible first, which has been a multi-year project (I'm down to three Old Testament books and three New Testament books). I had read through the Bible in a year before, but was feeling enticed to do it again. I decided after listening to the sermons that I didn't need be finicky about it and when it comes to reading the Bible, I don't need to finish one project before starting another... so I'm doing both.


Still, even after all that on Friday, I'm not spending adequate time with the Lord. So the Lord put me on my back today... literally. I pulled it the other day, but re-aggravated much worse this morning bending over for shampoo in our very small shower. Melissa has been gracious enough to take care of me, but I thank God, because I haven't been able to do much other than sit around for the day. Not only did I have time to finish Rita's book on Pastor Zablon (Its great! Go get it!), but also got to read in another book, my study Bible and my daily Bible. Furthermore, I had personal time in prayer and had devotional time with Melissa too. So necessary.


Its amazing what these times of devotion can do. Today I feel refreshed spiritually and more like God and I are on the same page. I know that if I continue to do it, its going to build me up spiritually. The fifteen minutes I've been spending has been good, but I know that there's more for me as I put more emphasis on my time with Him. I'm looking forward to returning to TOA next week not only because I'll get to be with the kids, but because for the first time this year, I'll be on a normal schedule. In that schedule I can give God my first fruits of time, quality and quantity, and make sure that I'm connected to Him daily.


Its a love relationship. We spend time with people that we love and God is anything but an exception to that. I intend to spend more time devoted to Him, just us together. I know that its in those times that we find purpose, rest and focus, for this we give praise.

Verse of the Week: Matthew 6:26-27

This week's verse is the classic "don't worry" verse, a reminder that I need regularly. I often think that I don't worry, but then my mom tells me that I'm a big worrier and she's typically right about stuff like that. There seems to be a lot of worry going around these days, especially because of the global economic downturn. As Christians we ought to show concern and help those in need, all the while being diligent to take care of ourselves and our families. But by looking at this verse the proper biblical stance is to not worry, no matter what the circumstance.

"Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?" -Matthew 6:26-27

Money

Welcome to Brandon’s therapy session.


Over the last couple weeks, as Snoop Doggy Dog would put it “I’ve had my mind on my money and my money on my mind.” Not just my money though, but money in general would probably be more apt. Nonetheless, I felt it was blog worthy as it is so integral to our society to the point that we come up with trite sayings like “Money makes the world go round” and what not. Not to mention money and personal finances are topics readily found throughout the Bible. It must be important. The only thing that Jesus talks about more than money in the gospel accounts is the Kingdom of God. That’s right, he talks more about money than he does about love, salvation, repentance and so on. Yeah, I’d say its quite important.


I was hanging out with Shawn the other day and we had some really good conversation as we tend to do. One of the topics, as one might suspect, was popular Christianity. Specifically we spoke at length about two individuals, one of them being Joel Osteen. He is undoubtedly the most prominent figure of the “prosperity gospel.” His book titles include Become a Better You, Its Your Time and Your Best Life Now. I don’t intend to bash another brother, I want God’s will for his life. However, I have a few reservations with the message he portrays. Mr. Osteen read the Bible and gave his life to a homeless first-century rabbi who told people to die to themselves before He Himself was tortured and murdered. Somehow, after this, Mr. Osteen landed on believing that God’s will is for us to be rich and indulge in treasures on this earth, even though they’ll rust and destroy as Jesus said they would.

When I write a book, I'm doing the same pose for the cover. Cover via Amazon

I watched a Larry King interview with Joel Osteen a while back and they showed video from his house and his church. Very big, very fancy, very expensive. He definitely lives out the gospel that he preaches. By his own definition, he has become a better him. The problem that I see with this view of money that many Christians believe in is two-fold. One, I find it unbiblical (as you could tell from the previous paragraph). I think that Mark Driscoll puts it well that when the message is “get rich, get healthy, be happy, that’s the equation… what we are saying is that as Christians we have nothing to offer that is any different from non-Christians or other religions.” Our life in Christ has the same end as that of those in the world: our own prosperity, as opposed to God’s glory. The prosperity gospel is the Christian American dream. Those are American ideals on those book covers, not biblical ideals. “Your,” its about you, its about the individual, “Best Life,” be all that you can be, humanism, health, wealth, indulgence. “Now,” immediately, don’t wait, don’t be patient, why sit down in the booth when you can get it from the drive-thru?


 Secondly, and this is the one that I’ll hit on more from my experience, I find the prosperity gospel doesn’t work out pragmatically. Do you have the kind of cash that Mr. Osteen has? It is a scary proposition when your faith is measured in dollar signs. Fortunately for Joe Christian like me, its not. I believe that God is a God of enough. He is gracious, He gives abundantly. He knows that we require some material things to survive and He has blessed not only the global church, but really the entire world with more than enough. The problem is that people (Americans for certain) horde. They don’t heed Jesus parable about the man that built the bigger barn to hold all his stuff (Luke 12:13-21). Furthermore, peoples’ eyes are bigger than their stomachs and their security and comfort become dependent on the things they own as opposed to the Lord. When this happens, some people wind up with way too much money and others, who might have faith through the roof, end up on the short end of the stick.

Theology of Action

I grew up in the church and have spent a lot of time listening to a lot of sermons. I then went to a Christian university and sat in a bunch of Bible classes and learned a lot. In the quick spread of information in the 21st-century, I’ve listened to pod casts, read blogs and books about God. All of this in an attempt to grow in my relationship with the Lord through glorifying Him with a proper theology; the study of God. All of this is well and good and I have indeed learned things about God and wouldn’t be ashamed to share my knowledge of the Bible and the ways of the Lord. I delight in this growing knowledge of Him.


At the same time, I have come to the realization that we learn a lot more about God through acting out our faith. The first service that I did as I began this gauntlet of speaking was at the Garden and as Darren was asking me questions on stage, I stated something that I hadn’t previously said before, but then realized that it was entirely true. I have learned more about the gospel in the last year through my relationship with 26 Tanzanian orphans than I have ever learned through all the sermons that I’ve ever heard combined. 


We always seem to have many words and can pay lip service to the Kingdom. As someone who enjoys writing and speaking, I probably am worst than most. And yet how many sermons have we heard, or even books have we read have truly changed our lives? We sometimes use that tag “changed my life” too flippantly, because the sincerity of such a change has to be played out for a much longer duration than the moment in which it happened. I will stress and strain over things I write or sermons I write and my intent is to inspire, encourage, challenge, bless, you know all those positive things that would change a person’s life. Yet in all truth, chances are I haven’t produced any words that have seriously altered someone’s life. 


Love. Isn’t that what we’re after? Jesus’ words in John 13:34-35: “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”  “Let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.” (1 John 3:18). That is powerful stuff. I love the way the Bible builds on the same themes and love in the Kingdom of God is one of the most prominent. The implication in these verses is that we are not only defined by love, but that love is to be love in action. 

Entitlement

I think that we live in the most obscure time in eternity. There is pre-Genesis eternity, Creation up to the Cross, now, and the age to come. We are truly in a peculiar spot in history. Anyone that is familiar with the Rock Harbor circles of fellowship are familiar with the New Testament picture of the Kingdom of God as “now, but not yet.” The Kingdom of God, and all the blessings and holiness that comes with it, is “at hand” (Matthew 3:2) and thus is within reach. The Kingdom of God, or the Kingdom of Heaven, is a Kingdom without sin, sickness or death; utterly flawless, fulfilling and satisfying. That is within reach and Jesus wants His followers to walk in this truth. And yet, the Kingdom is not fully here yet, thus death, sin and sickness still have an evil grip on this world. The Kingdom of God is infinitely superior and more powerful than the kingdom of darkness and victory is already secured, yet it has not completely taken place yet (unless by the time you read this, Jesus has already come back , in which case, I’ll just tell you, the reader, that I’m never updating this blog again). I believe Jesus’ words and I believe that the Holy Spirit is just like Jesus and that He does the same stuff today. That’s truth.

I write this blog without much of an idea of how things work. May the Lord work through my foolish thoughts and writing. I believe in things that I don’t see. I believe in things that the Bible teaches, yet I’ve never seen them with my own eyes. I hear people’s stories about incredible miracles that have taken place and as much as I truly believe them, when it becomes my turn all I can do is kind of look at the ground and shuffle me feet. Certainly I testify of the Lord working in the supernatural in my life and testify that He does those things. But when it comes to those radical healings and completely unexplainable phenomena I don’t really have anything to say.

Ideal

Awadhi had his “birthday” on the 8th of May. I put quotations because like all our children, we don’t have a birth certificate for him and “official” paperwork is often conflicting. Nonetheless, his celebrated birthday came around and now he’s “six” (he’s probably still five). We celebrated for him like we do for all our children, singing to him, a dessert of some sort and a prayer of blessing. We did it at lunch time and after that Lydia, Jodie and I went towards Arusha to see off a team that had been serving with Hidden With Christ. As the team took off for the airport, Lydia and I lingered and watched the wild animals that they kept at the resort/restaurant. I was reflecting on Awadhi’s birthday and thinking of my birthdays growing up and how starkly they differ. It just felt off. I was relating this to Lyd and she began to tell me how the Lord has taught her over the years how His ways are higher. She said how we do things in the states is not the ideal either and things are just different when God orchestrates them. I agree and am finding that out more and more as I live here.

Can you imagine a world that wasn’t fallen? Its quite mind blowing. No death, no sickness, no fatherless children, no poverty and so forth. In my reflection of working at TOA, I realize more and more that these kids need a father. Nonetheless, my coming here and adding a father hasn’t made the situation ideal. The Lord designed children to be in families: father, mother and children. That was what He designed when He created Adam and Eve and told them to be fruitful and multiply. Nonetheless, sin did enter the world and humans continue to choose it over the loving God that wants to restore His creation.

I suppose at this point a person would think a Treasure’s ideal situation would be to be adopted. Although, if this were a perfect world, orphans wouldn’t even exist in the first place and adoption wouldn’t exist either. There are some children’s homes and babies’ homes here that pursue adoption for their kids. For us its not something that we pursue. We are certainly not opposed to it and have had kids adopted out of TOA, but its not something where we are constantly trying to find adopting parents.

Persistence

This is a little cheap. Okay, just so you know before you continue with the blog, I want you to know that there is the slightest bit of me that is being lazy in what I’m about to talk about. The Lord has been teaching me something over the last little while and I’ve turned it into a sermon. I delivered that sermon at Pastor Unity’s church on Sunday. I then used the same material in a short devotional at TOA on Wednesday morning. I’ll be preaching on it at a my church tomorrow. A couple hours ago, I didn’t know what to write on so I went with this. I’ll be a little like Rob Bell. Not like having hip haircuts and sprinkling a little heresy and weird analogies in my teaching, but rather if you’ve heard me teach, then my writing is pretty much the same stuff, just like his Noomas and sermons are the same as his books. If this repetition in anyway makes you feel cheap, I’m sorry. Please feel free to not read any further. My feelings won’t be hurt. I imagine most people that “read” my blog don’t make it past the first paragraph anyway.

Disclaimer aside, there is this passage in Luke 11 that seems a little odd to me. Sometimes, I hear a story that Jesus tells and I’m just like “huh?” This is one such passage. One night, a guy comes to his friend and asks for some bread. The friend tells him to take a hike, because him and the fam are already in bed (I’m paraphrasing of course, that’s okay though, Eugene Peterson paraphrased the whole Bible and everyone loves that). The dude doesn’t leave, but keeps asking. Jesus explains that it is because of his persistence that the friend will get up and hook him up with the bread. And what do we learn? If you bug your friends enough, you’ll ware them out and get what you want. Right?

Jesus goes on to teach the famous “ask, seek, knock” passage, to which everyone that wants a new car says “amen!” Not quite. This passage always seems to befuddle me a little. I remember thinking about this passage and continually asking the Lord for a particular thing that was very important and very big. It never happened and barring a miracle that is way overdue, it won’t ever happen. I’m okay with that, but it makes the passage a little confusing.

Answered Prayers

Like most things in my life here, my spiritual life has been flipped upside down and I’m searching for categories to place things. As if prayer weren’t hard enough to understand as it is, just focusing during times of prayer now has become one of the most elusive things for me to accomplish during my quiet times. And despite my own distractions and inability to “speak the right words” to Him, prayer is still a two way street and I’m seeing more and more how the Lord makes sure to hold up more than His side of the exchange.

My first night in my house here was one marked by prayer. I was pleased to come in and see my house furnished with borrowed furniture, but there was no bed yet and no mosquito net. I pulled the cushions off the couch and placed them on the floor in my living room to go to sleep. January is the middle of summer here, so it was a bit hot, so I slept in my normal attire of shorts and no shirt. Little did I know that I was about to be engaged in warfare. Prayer. Warfare. You know what comes next… I got LIT UP by mosquitoes. I started putting on more and more clothes, pulling my hood all the way over my face to the point where all that was somewhat exposed were my hands and that was unintentional as I was asleep. The Bible says that our tongue has the power to both bless and curse. In high school I had a potty mouth from time to time, but I was literally cursing these mosquitoes, like telling them to just die. I was laying there just praying that God would just kill these stupid useless mosquitoes. Well, He didn’t kill them and the next morning I woke up with about ten to fifteen bites on each hand and also got a bit on my ankles.

Its kind of interesting to think about prayer. We can pray in faith and expect results, but that doesn’t make life easy and after one problem is solved, another one pops up. I don’t know what to make of this necessarily, but often I say in my prayer “Lord, it would be good if __________, because ________” like “Lord it would be good if this stupid internet would just be fast enough so that I can get this stupid YouTube video to upload, because then people back in the states can see what our kids are up to and they might pray for us or donate.” Sometimes, the video uploads, sometimes it doesn’t. I think it would have been good for me to not get attacked and have an ultra itchy hand the next day after sleeping in my house that night, but it didn’t happen. Perhaps there is a level of vanity too something like YouTube videos and mosquito bites, but all the same, doesn’t God want to do good things?

I don’t claim to have any answers to why those things don’t happen and I don’t know how this whole prayer thing works. The Lord will accomplish His will on earth. He does it through our prayers and actions. But He doesn’t “need” us necessarily, He chooses to use us. But if we don’t do our part, He makes up for it. Sometimes we pray and nothing happens. Sometimes we pray one thing and the opposite thing happens. Sometimes we pray and exactly what we prayed for happens. I remember talking about prayer in youth group and I remember my youth pastor saying, “when you pray, God either says ‘Yes,’ ‘No’ or ‘Wait’” At the time that seemed so profound to me, now looking back I think about what happens if one of my kids asks me for something, what do I say, ‘Ndiyo,’ ‘Hapana’ or ‘Subiri’ (sometimes I say ‘labda’ but I don’t think God says that). Wow, okay that’s helpful then.

You all ready to hear some truth? The Lord DOES hear our prayers. It does make a difference. When we pray, things shift in Heaven and Earth and good stuff happens. We don’t understand it completely, but that’s okay. Stop and think about what you are doing… you are speaking with a transcendent infinite being who created the universe and loves you like a father… are we expecting to understand that? What’s more than that is that the Lord does answer our prayers and when He does He has a flawless record of coming through on His word. I am writing this in Tanzania, because the Lord answered my prayer and I thank Him for that.

On Wednesday, Lydia and I met together to just talk about how my first month and a half of actual work at TOA has gone and what things we can be doing and working on and everything. I had a meeting with my incredibly godly boss essentially. We of course talked the technical stuff of work detail. But I was also telling her how grateful I am for her and Jodie and Eli. She went on to return the gratitude and she told me that I am specifically an answer to prayer. It took a special grace for her to do the books and seeing the kids (especially the little ones) learning English has been something critical to running this place, but it was outside of her ability because of everything else that needed to get done. She prayed that someone could come and do these things and the Lord sent me here. The Lord orchestrated something beautiful. Three years ago, three women came here and started an orphanage. That summer, the Lord first called me here and I soon thereafter found out about this place specifically. It soon became a prayer of mine that the Lord release me to come here and start down the path of running an African orphanage. Lydia was the Education Director who became interim Program Director who went back to be Education Director who went back to interim Program Director who became permanent Program Director. Ryan and Stacy came through during that time. For a year in there, a man named Warren came here and fixed the booking system. All this stuff was happening here and I was in California praying that the Lord would release me here. Then in a beautiful moment, Rita offered me a position at TOA and after answering the prayers for a children’s pastor in Long Beach, I returned here and the culmination of many prayers took place. Wow.

One more story…

My senior year of college, I took 40 units altogether so that I could graduate on time with no outstanding units. Because my school schedule was so strenuous, I had to drastically cut back on my hours working at the city. That didn’t mean that my cost of living went down though, so I had to pay for things with my credit card. After I graduated and started working more regularly, I went back to mostly using debit, but I wasn’t really able to make much of a dent in the credit card payment as I was paying back my loans and rent and food and everything else. I stopped using it eventually, but couldn’t pay more than the minimum most months. I prayed and fasted for my financial situation. I dared to pray that the Lord would pay off all my debt (credit card and loans) within a year of my graduation. I only told Clesi and Ashley up til right now, but I prayed, gave generously regularly, and fasted asking the Lord to pay off all my debt before May 2009. The evening of April 30th, Ash and I were literally on top of Triangle Square in Costa Mesa looking through planters for $50,000. Didn’t find anything. So did the Lord just not hear our prayers, not see the fasting? I don’t think so. In the words of my wise youth pastor I think He just said, “wait.” This week, an answer came to $3,500 of my debt. In an act of submission to the Spirit and joyful generosity, a friend of mine has taken over the remaining balance of my credit card. A friend who is already an AMAZING supporter of mine and already had a great impact on me while I was living in California. This friend is a beautiful answer to my prayers and I trust the Lord has something special for them.

Pray. He hears you. He loves you. He has good things for you. If you are discouraged in your praying, ask the Holy Spirit to do His work of encouragement. I stand in the blessed prayers of yesterday and I hope that the next season bears wonderful fruit that I prayerfully sow today.

-------------------------------------------

The Rundown: This week has been good. Last Sunday I helped Lauren move some stuff for another missionary and after that I swam with her and Ronda at their place. Its just nice to hang out with friends and I’m blessed that they were both my roommates over the summer. Monday, I was over at Lydia and Jodie’s for dinner. They are not only hospitable but the food is BOMB! Wow, chicken pot pie with mashed potatoes and gravy. Its like I’m back in the states. I’ve been able to hang out with those short termers a few time so that’s been cool. Discipleship was good on Tuesday, small group was good on Wednesday and worship was really good on Thursday. Yeah, other than that not too much going on. Emails, messages and comments always welcome

Stillness

I have been busy this week. Too busy.

When I was in Long Beach, I instituted something in my life that was imperative to my life. I was hanging out at Thursday night Life Group with the Modern Loving Family and we were talking about prayer. We talked about the need to spend time in prayer and devotion everyday and of people that make a point to spend a hour a day. At the time I was faithful to my nightly devotional and it was maybe 20-30 minutes a night. Although after that Life Group, I decided that it would benefit me and glorify God to set aside one hour everyday to spend quality time with the Lord. I was indeed busy with church stuff, but my schedule allowed me to wake up and spend time out on the terrace with just my chair and my Bible. It had become a rhythm of life.

I had so much time on my hands while I was in Wisconsin and while I did spend time with the Lord daily, I got lazy and didn’t discipline myself to spend that specific hour. Because of my laziness there, my specific hour a day no longer was a rhythm in my life. This last week has been go go go and so much has happened, so much except that hour a day. Now, I find myself with no clarity of thought and I’m quite confused and unable to focus. Even last night, I was going to blog and started off going down one train of thought and then stopped and said no I’ll go with this angle and then got frustrated with that and stopped writing altogether. When I would have my hour a day (which is sometimes longer and sometimes divided between two times) the time is spent 20-25 minutes in silence and free prayer, 20-25 minutes in the Word and 20-25 minutes in directed prayer. Because I’ve cut back on all these areas, especially the first, I find myself a bit of a mess. Because I haven’t spent time in silence and allowing my brain time to think and pray my thoughts, I’m confused. Because I’m not reading as much in the Bible, I’m not meditating on His Word and growing in knowledge. And because I’m not having my directed prayer, I feel guilty because I know that I’m not praying for others as much as I should be. This is no way to start missionary work.

Last night I had a dream. A very confusing dream. It is the only thing that I can think of that is too personal for me to discuss in a blog, but we’ll say that it has been something very important to me for over four years now. I woke up so frustrated and so confused. This is something that I prayed for countless times and the Lord apparently said “no.” I have tried to forget it and get on with life, and thought that it was a done deal, then out of the blue it pops up again and since I haven’t been spending as much time with Him, I wasn’t prepared and it was hard and uncomfortable. I should have and need to be in this blessed communion. If I’m not spending quality time with Him, I’m at best a confused, disoriented mess of a man and at worse living in sin.

Here I am in flippin’ Africa, living out a promise that He spoke two and a half years ago and I’m not even spending time with Him here like I should.

So what is it that has me so preoccupied? Everything. For one, jet lag. Also, spending about seven hours a day learning a new language, practicing guitar, sleeping, moving into my new house, going to the airport and picking up my luggage, going to church, catching up with friends in Moshi, speaking and eating with new friends at language school, emailing and trying to resolve this identity theft thing and all the normal daily activities that everyone does. Make no mistake about it, I am quite busy and all of it is necessary for me to be doing right now. Yet I look at that and can’t say “okay, that activity is definitely more important than spending time in devotion.” There is nothing more important to do daily. And this is what I can’t get about my life, or anyone else’s, we have to pencil in solitude time with the Lord. Its always frustrated me hearing people saying “I don’t have time for devotion” or “I only have 15 minutes free a day.” And while I didn’t say it myself, for the last month, I’ve been doing worse than that, I’ve been living it. Take this as my confession to the brethren.

Last time I checked, if we are Christians and our main purpose is glorifying the Lord and advancing His Kingdom here on earth, then how is it logical that we only spend, at best, 15 minutes (out of a possible 1440) with the Chief, the King, our Father, our Savior everyday? I hear people say and justify myself at times with the same notion, “I talk to God throughout the day, driving, eating, hanging out with friends, working, whatever, so I don’t need a daily devotional.” If you are doing that, that’s good. 1 Thessalonians 5:16 says to “pray without ceasing” and we should do that. But Psalm 46:10 says to “be still and know that I am God.” How can we be moving towards full knowledge of God and hearing His thoughts on our life if we’re not also spending time being still before Him? The two are not at all mutually exclusive, but rather are the markers of a healthy prayer life.

How we spend our time is how we spend our lives. How we spend our lives is what will be the second judgment for Christians after we enter eternity. How we live our lives shows what we count as important. Anna showed God she thought talking to Him was important and served Him by spending 84 years in fasting and prayer in the temple (Luke 2). That’s righteous. I don’t know what the Lord is calling you to, I am not even sure what He’s calling me to, to spend in daily devotion, but I imagine that if it’s the same God that Anna served, its probably more than 15 minutes a day.

Don’t get me wrong, if you give Him 15 minutes He’ll use it. But I want more of Him, that’s important to me, and I know that so much of that will come from waiting on Him and spending quality time with Him.

So today, I spent quality time with the Lord and I feel at peace. He didn’t boom with a loud voice, but He spoke and I was still. I was able to slow down and meditate on what it means to be serving Him in Tanzania as I watched wild monkeys jump around in the trees overhead. I was able to speak honestly about the dream and my confused thoughts became a sacrifice lifted up. I was able to smile and thank God that He has me working here with these blessed children. It was what it should be. It was beautiful.

-------------------------------------------------

Welcome to a new segment of my blogs that I call “The Rundown,” as in “Hey Jim, could you get me a rundown?” (The Office reference, anyone?). During this segment, I will give the 411 on what I’ve been up to physically. I feel that the most important part of my life is what the Lord is teaching and doing in me spiritually and how that relates physically and that’s what the bulky first section will be. But along with that are physical things that won’t get put above the dashed line, so I’ll put them down here. So let’s just pretend that I didn’t do the dashed line yet and when I do it again, you just know what I’m doing.

-------------------------------------------------

The Rundown: Language school has been going well. It is so much information but a lot of it is sticking. I really enjoy learning new languages and none more than Swahili. Anybody want me to translate something for them? I enjoy the people that are in my class and we have fun. There is one other American (from Ohio) and his name is Brendan. Because mwalimu Gouden (teacher Gouden) can’t really pronounce the difference well, we are Brandan kwanza na Brandan pili (First Brandan and second Brandan). There is an Italian man named Stefano, a Scottish man named David and a German woman named Daniela. Walimu jina lao Mama Gouden na Mama Frida. In free time I’ve been studying, playing a lot of guitar and taking advantage of the above average Tanzanian food they have here. This weekend, I went to Moshi. (Man, as I write this I feel like I’m supposed to be writing in Swahili). I took the coaster which is always an adventure. Lydia picked me up and we went to TOA so that I could see the kids and they were all excited to see me. Awadhi had just got out of the shower and was wrapped in a towel soaking wet when I first saw him, when he saw me he was surprised and smiled. I went up to him and gave him a big hug and got a wet mouth giving him kisses. I love him. After that I went to my new home and met the missionary family, whose back house I am living in. They are from Maryland and their names are Noe and Amanda. They have three Ethiopian adopted children named Moses, Noah and Laylo. They are really cool and we get along well. Saturday morning, I went over and visited with Ryan, Stacy and the kids then I spent time at the orphanage and got my bed set up at the house (its really comfortable). The last two of my three bags came in, so Lydia, Jodie and I went to get them at the airport. I went into get them and was happy to see that they were never opened along the way. The guy at the desk was nice, but told me that I had to go get them looked in at Customs. When he called the agent, who should come out, but the same guy that tried to have me “tip” him for taking my guitar over this summer. The most expensive thing I had in the box was my big djembe Jonah, but I purposely put him towards the bottom of the bigger tub. The customs agent must have been being lazy, because he didn’t go that deep and didn’t find anything worth bribing me for. So praise God. Having all my bags helped me as I unpacked more Saturday night. Sunday, I went to church with Stacy and the kids to ICC and saw some of the Fountain of Hope kids that I know. After service I went out to eat with some of the local missionaries, all of which were female. I feel like I’m a Liberal Studies major all over again. Then I went home, packed for the week and then drove my piki piki to TOA to drop it off and see the kids before heading back to Usa River. And oh yeah, my identity was stolen this week. That was fun. I’ve been praying that no one in my email contacts sent any money to England and I laughed at seeing what an awful job the guy did impersonating me. At any rate, I am happy to have gmail now and I am in talks with Facebook and it looks like I should get my profile back soon. All is well. Hamna shida. Life is good. God is good.

Satisfaction

One of my favorite authors/speakers is Francis Chan and I’m about to do something that he often does in his books. Before you read another word of my blog, go and read Isaiah 55. I will wait for you.

…

Thoughts?

The Bible is the living Word of God. I don’t know if I’ve ever experienced that as much as I did tonight.

I’ve had a very busy day, running errands, hanging out with Corey, preparing some prayer raising letters and in the midst of all that I quickly found that I was going late into the night (thank you Tanzanian Peaberry coffee from Badger Brew) without yet spending my devotion with the Lord. In my busyness, I was feeling sad and anxious. I began to spend time in prayer as I was moving. With me leaving for Tanzania on Sunday, I again am feeling the whole sacrifice deal, so I pray that I would be able to feel some of the joy right off the bat despite my current condition. A little after 1 AM, I finish preparing for tomorrow’s trip to Minneapolis for supply getting and picking Donny and Melissa up from the airport. I go downstairs to spend sometime in the Word before going to sleep. Since being here I’ve read 1st and 2nd Samuel and now am in 1st Kings, enjoying the kingship of Solomon. However, rather than committing to my normal two chapters plus commentaries, I wanted an easy reading for the night so I decided to read a random passage from either the Writings or the Prophets. As I sit down, the Holy Spirit gives me the word “Satisfy.” “Okay,” I say “I will look up the word ‘satisfy’ in my concordance and go with the third time it is listed.” As I turn there the Holy Spirit gives me the number four. “Okay,” I say, “I will go with the fourth time it is used.” Doing that led me to Isaiah 55. I went on to read the Word of the Lord and found it at work in my life immediately.

Isaiah wrote this thousands of years ago. It was not written to Americans that are missionaries to Tanzania. It was written to Israelite exiles to Babylon. Yet every Word tonight was for me.

Guys, I don’t know what to feel or how I’m supposed to feel. I don’t feel prepared for Tanzania. I can’t fathom what moving or living in a foreign country is like. I’m not only in over my head, I have no idea if I will even be remotely effective. I don’t say this for a “woe is me” effect, but rather to convey that I am ambiguously overwhelmed, if that makes sense to you. But the Lord has spoken to me tonight and I hope that the message rings with you as well.

A couple weeks ago, the youth pastor at my parents church spoke and said something that didn’t sit well with me. He was mentioning how people will say things that sound biblical but really aren’t in the Bible at all. He specifically said how people say “God wants me to be happy” and how that is not in the Bible. That is true and it is indeed more important that we glorify Him, making Him happy. Yet there is more to it than that. Throughout the Bible we are called to delight ourselves in the Lord. The idea isn’t “this Lamborghini makes me happy and God wants me happy, so its okay.” The idea is “God is holy, loving, just and good, and I am stoked on that.” He is my satisfaction, my delight, my happiness, my joy. We are to be as MacArthur (I think it was him) says “Christian Hedonists.” This passage calls us to that.

I love how it starts and how aptly it applies (redundant to word it that way?). “Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; And you who have no money, come, buy and eat. Yes, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.” Since I am now a missionary and live solely off of what the church/God gives me, I have truly tasted this. I am making no money right now. I have bills, I need to eat and yet I don’t pay for any of it, I’m a conduit at best. In my distress, the Lord reminds me of His gracious unwarranted provision in my life.

And yet how many times do we find ourselves being those people from verse 2 who “spend money for what is not bread, and wages for what does not satisfy.” Think about that. Think about what you got last Christmas (2008). How much satisfaction does that pricy thing bring you now? Are you satisfied? This can be applied to be an analogy for what we put our effort into and find no satisfaction (think relationships, status, etc.) and yet don’t discredit the fact that this is a reference to money and we live in a consumer world and the church is often as bad as anyone. We spend our money on what doesn’t satisfy and we do it continually, meanwhile the peace and joy and blessings of the Lord are right there for free.

In verse 5 the Lord really spoke to me as well. Remember that I have no idea what I’m getting myself into. “Surely you shall call a nation you do not know.” Can I be candid with you? I love Tanzanians so much. They are some of the dearest people to me. Having said that, they are often strange to me and I them I’m sure. I don’t get them. They snap thumbs when you shake hands, they carry chickens on crammed public transit, many of them stare (and smell), and so many other things that are just a part of their naturally different culture. These aren’t negative things, but I don’t get them. And yet I am calling that nation. The next sentence is also speaking to me “nations who do not know you shall run to you.” I highly doubt that I will spend the rest of my life in Tanzania, and I highly doubt that is because I will spend my time after TZ in the states. The Lord has given me dreams and aspirations for other nations as well and that’s what I want. Lord willing, He’ll shine through and the other nations will come running.

Isaiah goes on to talk about the importance of repentance and the unfathomable nature of the Lord which are so important in finding true satisfaction. Going on to remind us that He is the Giver of the rain and the blessings.

Then prophesies that God’s “word shall go forth from (His) mouth; it shall not return to (Him) void, but it shall accomplish what (He) pleases.” If you know my story you know my story, you know the Word that the Lord gave me; “Go run an orphanage in Africa.” Here I am starting down that path and I still have no idea what that is going to look like. I’m excited sure, but how do I get from point A to point B? The only thing that I can hold on to is the Word that He gave me and trust that it will not return void but will accomplish what He pleases and prosper just as He sent it.

And lastly, before the Lord spoke to me I asked Him for joy right off the bat. This is what He replied: “You shall go out with joy, and be led out with peace.” Thank you Father.

Be satisfied. Be happy. Be delighted. Repent. Don’t spend your money or efforts on what doesn’t satisfy. Be blown away by the unfathomable God that wants to glorify you. Walk in His peace and joy.

Please pray for me as I leave Sunday to go get satisfied in Tanzania on the Word of the Lord…and the chapati of Tanzania.

Giving and Receiving

I felt that such a title and subject would be appropriate this time of the year. This season is all about giving, or so I’ve heard. I don’t know if you’ve heard it as well. I undoubtedly could spend this time harping on the fact that we celebrate Jesus’ birthday by spoiling one another in the name of “holiday cheer” but I feel like that’s been said…I know I’ve said it. Despite our economy and the more and more common church sermons on living and giving more simply, we don’t see too much of a difference in December. Come Sunday morning the kids are looking under the tree and not to the manger and the adults are more worried about the lights and appearance of the house then the Light that came to earth 2000 years ago. Oh wait, I said I wasn’t going to beat that drum. That’s right. Giving and receiving.

I’ve always felt an incredible amount of freedom that comes from giving and I‘ve felt that increase over the years. When I started to have an income from high school jobs, I knew that it was important to tithe, so I did. It wasn’t much and I didn’t really track it at all, but if the plate came by I’d throw something in. Aside from tithing to the church, most of my money went to myself. Music was my big thing. Every week after getting paid I would go and buy three CD’s from Aardvark Music in Paso. But yeah, I’d give too. If it were Christmas or a birthday, I’d buy a price appropriate gift for a family member, but I didn’t bowl anyone over and I doubt that most of those presents are still around. When I transferred to Vanguard, I had a designated 20% for the church. The rest was mine. Now as I read that, I’m kind of realizing that that’s not a lot. I’ve heard so many people boasting about 10% or whatever and its almost been played off as “He gave me His life and I give Him 10% of my income, we have an arrangement.” Honestly, I’ve dealt with pride on this issue (pride is probably my biggest downfall, Lord help me). I would hear people say that and think “boy, I’m such a great Christian, I give a little over 20% and they have more money than me and only give 10%”. It’s a messed up way of thinking, as if God sent His only begotten Son to be born in a stable and hang on a cross, but all He was concerned about was how much we give on Sunday. I think that it says more to the fact that we care a lot about money and that’s why we make such a big deal about how much we give.

Since then the Lord has brought me through different seasons of 30% and 50% and while that may be good, it all seems arbitrary to some extent, because no matter how much I give, He still takes care of me. Giving for me has been the most easing thing. When I give money or whatever of value, it is really living by faith and saying that this money has NOTHING to do with my sustenance. I’ve gotten so worked up at times thinking about how bills are going to get paid or how I’m going to afford stuff (like moving to Africa) and you know what? It always happens. The worry and stress is relieved as I give. Its like I think we sometimes forget who our Dad is. Do we really think that if we give money or an unexpected bill comes up, that God is just going to say “ah, bummer, I guess you’re up a creek” No. He doesn’t say that, He’ll take care of us. Now maybe He will use that to bring about correction in your life. “Whom the Lord loves He corrects.” (Proverbs 3:12) If you are at your house and reading this, look around the room and point to the thing that you need to survive. Nothing, really. Now point to the thing that if you were to fall on “tough” times you could sell to make up some of the difference. Just about everything. Sorry I didn’t mean to get on a tangent (it seems more and more inevitable with my blogs) On that note, not my money point but rather the tangent point, I realize more and more that I do enjoy having people read my blogs, but this seems like it is more for me, hence the length, just saying.

So this is what I really want to get to. It is a biblical principle that you reap what you sow. This isn’t my get rich quick scheme, but feel free to try it that way and see what happens. I have been in a time of harvest and I say that joyfully. It almost seems new to me, not because I haven’t harvested before, but rather because it is so refreshing. Whether I did it out of joy (the case at times) or out of religious tradition (the case at times) the money that I sowed into the church has began to come back to me. I’ve raised almost half my money for my first year of ministry (about $12000) and had so many other blessings. I know I shared stories in a previous blog “The Joys of Fundraising” but there are now more stories in addition to just how much support I’ve raised. I had one friend who the Lord prompted to give over $1000 to me personally to help me pay off my credit card, that was really amazing. Praise God for generous people like this friend. Oh, this next one is related to a previous giving story and shows that the Lord gives MORE than what is necessary. So last year after I read The Irresistible Revolution for the second time I felt inclined to sell my expensive things and give the money away to Christian para-church organizations both domestic and abroad. One of the things that I sold was my 4 GB iPod Nano. At the time that was my biggest sacrifice, because I was a bike commuter and that was my entertainment for at least an hour a day. But I sold it. Well, my friend gave me an early Christmas present last week. He told me not to open it til I got on the plane (probably because he knew I wouldn’t receive it unless it was forced on me). I got to my parents and forgot that the package was in my guitar case. A week later, I came across it and opened it and found HIS iPod Touch. I was blown away. He had told me he had lost it a few weeks prior and now it was mine. I’m listening to Phil on it right now, the Wickham not the Doctor. Praise God for generous people like this friend. These last two stories have made me realize that I’m not too great at receiving. It has been humbling and makes me squeamish. I almost don’t want to receive the gifts, because its too awkward, even though these are FRIENDS of mine. But looking at it biblically, I don’t want to reject what the Lord has given me and I don’t want to reject the blessing that will be returned on my friends. So I just get to sit back and let the love flow between everyone. It really is beautiful.

More and more I see the Lord’s hand in those things that I want and need. When the Lord had put it on my heart to live minimally, I went for it. No new shirts, CD’s or anything else. I decided to eat on $3 a day after I graduated from college. It was actually wonderful and I didn’t worry about the bills even though things were tight. I learned something in that time about “things.” There are physical things in this world that are good, enjoyable and can be used to God’s glory. As I really walked in not buying things, I began asking God for things and see if He’d provide. He’s a good Dad and He created everything there is and more. So I asked him for things. Since then here is a list of things I asked Him for and I’ve received from various places: a big djembe, a guitar, a dog (there are two at TOA), and a laptop. These are the most expensive things that I own and I didn’t pay a red penny for any of them. All of it is committed to the Lord’s glory and I trust that when its time for any of these things to break, the Lord will allow me to glorify Him in other ways.

Now I tell you confidently that you will reap what you sow. If you sow sparingly and ungratefully, you will reap in frustration and an insatiable dissatisfaction. But if you sow generously, you will reap the Lord’s plenty for your life. (2 Corinthians 9:6) To be honest, if you sow in money, you may reap in something different. I think the number one reason that much of my reaping recently has been monetarily is because I am moving to one of the top 10 most impoverished nations in the world and the Lord knows what I need (and what I want). Chances are you’re reading this from one of the most affluent nations in the world and the Lord knows what you really need and that very well could be something other than more money. Pray into that, He does have something for you in your giving. But the giving is on you. If you wait for Him to take it, it will be unnecessarily more difficult and you may miss what He really wants to do in your giving.

The Word of the Lord (x3)

2 Corinthians 9:7-8

So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance of every good work.

Luke 12:48

…For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.

Matthew 7:7;11

Ask and it will be given to you…If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!

Merry Christmas, family.

The Joys of Fundraising

Well I am about halfway through my time in the states before heading back to Tanzania. It has been a sometimes easy, sometimes difficult, sometimes joyful, sometimes sorrowful, but always always blessed time. I have so much enjoyed being a part of the Long Beach community especially those people at The Garden that the Lord has graciously given to me as brothers and sisters. I have also been so blessed to resume my relationships with my family in Irvine at Pacific Pointe and other friends throughout Orange County.

A question that keeps coming up is... how's fundraising going? Fundraising always seemed to be the drawback to missions. You have all these aspirations of how God will use you and then as you do the work you get stories of how God came through and you share them with others, BUT you have to fundraise. You get to impart knowledge and education to the kids, "Alright!" And you get to worship with the Masai, "Yes!" And you can be baba to all these wonderful children and live an exciting life before God, "Amen!" But you have to raise $25,000 for a year of ministry "Oh." But fundraising has been more than just "oh" and its turning into "Oh Wow! God is so good!" So I wanted to take a moment and testify of just how this tough season financially has showed the mighty hand of God and His faithfulness to me in all things He's called me to. All glory to Him in any good thing I say here. I wanted to share a few stories...

I hit the ground running in August and quickly got the word out of my new position and the money that I'll be needing to be with my family at Treasures of Africa and throughout Moshi. I got pumped up by reading the Autobiography of George Muller and was ready to see the miracles and radical answers to prayer. I was sending out letters by the dozens, contacting newspapers and radio stations, abusing Face Book in biblical proportions and telling everyone that would give me thirty seconds about what I was undertaking by God's grace. After I had done the majority of my letters, I asked Rita at Hidden With Christ for my update and a couple days later, I got a report from the office saying that I had raised like $230 or something. Essentially I had raised less than 1% of what I need. A tough pill to swallow considering all my toil. I then went six weeks or so without an update from HWCM.

In my new home on Signal Hill, I live on the second floor and from my patio I can see to Seal Beach and all the way up the coast to northwest Long Beach. I can see Belmont Shore, the big buildings in downtown Long Beach and everything in between. Something that I've gotten into the habit of doing is saying to myself "My Dad owns all of that" and remind myself that if not one person supported me, He would take care of me and bring His good plans to pass in accordance with His riches in Heaven, because He is always always faithful. It helps keep my head on when things don't look good.

Then a few weeks ago I set aside a week to fast and pray for three big things in my life. One of them was of course fundraising and finances in general. I don't know of your experience, but mine has been that when you set aside a period of time to fast, that guaranteed will be the time that you are presented with bomb food for free. Well, by God's grace I got through the week and after giving me a dream, He had me end it and He told me to spend the final day celebrating as He would be moving me into a time of harvest in all the areas of my life that I'd been praying for. Pretty satisfying way to end the fast.

Well, the harvest started the next day. In regards to finances, the following day my pastor and friend at The Garden, Darren, called me and told me that as the church is progressing they would like to hire me to run children's ministry at the Garden (an answer to another thing I was fasting for as well, because I was seeking the Lord to give me more direction in Long Beach). That same day, I finished my drudging time with paper work in getting my retirement money from my previous job and they expedited it so that I would get it sooner (which I have now).

From that point though, the harvest looked a little different as I continued to struggle in personal finances (even though in all truth the Lord has provided and has not forsaken me a single moment, despite my stress) and I again came to a time of high stress, being drained and needing refreshment. Right at that time, the Lord opened up an opportunity for me to head up to my hometown of Paso Robles. My family at First Baptist was so gracious with me. They gave me the chance to speak at the Youth Group and I had an amazing time telling the high schoolers my story and how the Lord has been at work. I encouraged them with the story of Abraham which has played a significant role in my life. The following day, I got to meet with the elders of the church and share my story. That too was a blessed time and I was very encouraged by those that were in the meeting. They prayed for me and also gave me a generous starting sum of money with continued prospects of future partnership.

As I was heading out of Paso Robles, I was able to pick up the Tribune, which is a paper that is distributed throughout San Luis Obispo county (this was the fourth paper I've been in on the central coast), and found my story on the front page of the Local section with a big picture of me and Awadhi. It was a blessing to read and I'm glad that AnnMarie (the reporter) helped me out. It was funny during the interview, she asked me what I would pack to come to Tanzania and I told her I didn't know, but probably not too much. Clothes, pictures, not too much. As an aside I told her that I live minimally and didn't even own my own laptop since mine was stolen in college four years ago. Well for whatever reason, she decided to make that particular item a part of the article. Then on Thursday a lady that works for a San Luis law firm contacted me via Face Book and told me that one of their clients was touched by the story and thought that since I'll be Education Director, I should probably have a laptop, so he decided that he would like to bless me with that. Isn't that amazing! I had been planning on squeezing a few dollars together to just get the cheapest netbook possible, but now its all taken care of and its on its way to my house. Out of the humility of this man's heart, he decided to not tell me his name, so as far as I know it could've been the Lord Himself. Whoever it was, praise God from whom all blessings flow!

These are just a few of the stories. There have been plenty more. I have a friend who by his own accord decided to let me borrow his truck three days a week, which helps so much for work and getting around for fundraising opportunities. I have another friend who on top of supporting me for TOA, loaned some money to me, when I paid her back out of the goodness of her heart she tore up the check and allowed me to have the money for good. I have an elderly couple up in Paso who have been out of work for two years but were still moved to donate what little they could. I've got a boy at FBC collecting recycling and giving the money to me and a friend from Rock Harbor that is giving a portion of her art proceeds to support me. I've had people give that I don't even know or hardly know. And yeah, I've had friends who won't so much as join a Face Book cause or respond in any way and at times it gets discouraging but above all these things, good and bad, is my Heavenly Father who is taking care of me and will continue to do so.

So how is fundraising going? Well, that's how its going. Logistically, I've raised about half ($3,700) of my launch number which is $7,500 and that is about 15% of my year total goal of $25,000. I am trusting that the Lord will take care of the rest of the years support as well as personal finances in all respects. Please believe alongside me! If you feel so inclined, check out www.treasuresofafrica.org/staff/brandon_s.htm for both my bio and my donation link. Also, if you have any questions, comments, encouragements, or words from the Lord please share them with me. Above all, PRAY!!! Thank you so much for those that have prayed, those that have given and those that took the time to read this ultra long blog. I bless you in the name of the Lord.

To The Glory of Jesus,

Brandon