Music Spotlight: You Won't Relent

If you were to ask Melissa what is the song that Brandon has played most on guitar over the last several months, she would provide an answer for you quite easily. It would be this song and while I may not be able to rock it quite like the originals here, its such a powerful song no matter which way you cut it. A beautiful picture of God's pursuit of us. I was turned on to Jesus Culture last year and they have since become one of my favorite worship groups. All of there stuff is so moving and the music itself is incredible. I would definitely suggest it to ANYONE. You can put this song on and just let it move you by the power of the Spirit. Its really great and is an especially important reminder to me and Melissa right now. Enjoy.

Devotion

I don't always do what is best for me. Foolishly, I often realize it as its happening. Lord help me.


I often think back to the time that I was in Long Beach and remember it with a sense of romance. I remember what God was doing during that time and felt quite close to Him. I felt that my ministry in church was meaningful and even powerful. I saw God moving in the communities that I was involved in and it was exciting. It was the perfect staging area for my launch into the mission field of Tanzania.

I get these random images through Zemanta. To be honest, this blog doesn't need the seal of Long Beach, just because I mentioned Long Beach, but I did it anyway. Image via Wikipedia

I now often find myself taken aback and feeling like over a year and a half later, I'm further from God. I of course chalk some of this up to seeing the past through rose-colored glasses, but I know that there's more to it than just that. As I've been reminded of the last several days, that distance has a lot to do with the way that I spent my time back then. Namely that during that season, I committed myself to spending a hour with God everyday.


I remember it quite well. I lived in the upstairs of a four unit apartment complex. Our balcony was merely a walkway, but I would set up shop there and look over the city of Long Beach. On top of my spot on Signal Hill, I could see downtown LB and beyond one direction, then Belmont Shore down into Seal Beach and beyond the other way. I set up my little fold out chair, my Oswald Chambers devotional and of course my study Bible. That time was so special, so restful and in the most important way, believe it or not, productive.


Now I find myself too busy to set aside that much time. Its disgraceful really. How I spend my time is indicative of my priorities and not spending time with the Lord is a bad sign. Now, the truth is I still read my Bible everyday and I of course pray everyday, but I'm far less intentional and the time has waned considerably.


I was convicted of this through a couple sermons that I listened to the other day. I always listen to a lot of podcasts, but during my time in the states, I fell way behind. The first was by Darren at the Garden where he challenged the congregation to do very simple disciplines that would bless God and draw us close to Him during Lent ("So two rabbis get into an argument..." on The Garden Church Long Beach iTunes podcast) and the second was by Becky Tirabassi at Rock Harbor, emphasizing the importance of the Bible and having that daily time in the word ("The Good Book: Love It. Read It. Live It" on ROCKHARBOR Messages iTunes podcast) . I knew that these two messages were just for me.


I had been holding out on starting my "read it in a year" NIV Bible, because I wanted to finish reading through my entire study Bible first, which has been a multi-year project (I'm down to three Old Testament books and three New Testament books). I had read through the Bible in a year before, but was feeling enticed to do it again. I decided after listening to the sermons that I didn't need be finicky about it and when it comes to reading the Bible, I don't need to finish one project before starting another... so I'm doing both.


Still, even after all that on Friday, I'm not spending adequate time with the Lord. So the Lord put me on my back today... literally. I pulled it the other day, but re-aggravated much worse this morning bending over for shampoo in our very small shower. Melissa has been gracious enough to take care of me, but I thank God, because I haven't been able to do much other than sit around for the day. Not only did I have time to finish Rita's book on Pastor Zablon (Its great! Go get it!), but also got to read in another book, my study Bible and my daily Bible. Furthermore, I had personal time in prayer and had devotional time with Melissa too. So necessary.


Its amazing what these times of devotion can do. Today I feel refreshed spiritually and more like God and I are on the same page. I know that if I continue to do it, its going to build me up spiritually. The fifteen minutes I've been spending has been good, but I know that there's more for me as I put more emphasis on my time with Him. I'm looking forward to returning to TOA next week not only because I'll get to be with the kids, but because for the first time this year, I'll be on a normal schedule. In that schedule I can give God my first fruits of time, quality and quantity, and make sure that I'm connected to Him daily.


Its a love relationship. We spend time with people that we love and God is anything but an exception to that. I intend to spend more time devoted to Him, just us together. I know that its in those times that we find purpose, rest and focus, for this we give praise.

Strength

I used to think that I was a strong person. Sometimes people say that it takes a strong person to be a missionary overseas, I then wonder how in the world I’m making it out here. The emotions of being back have been overwhelming at times. I wish that I could say that they’ve all been positive, but it actually seems that most haven’t been. It just feels a little off. I try to be upbeat with the couple status updates I post on Facebook, but its been a little harder and I find myself at a bit of a loss.I look around at the fellow missionaries and perceive how well they have it all together. They are older, wiser and have a handle on things. I rarely see their emotions get to them or not know what to do in a particular situation. All the while, I can feel debilitated by all that I’m facing.


After arriving in Nairobi, we took the shuttle to Moshi the next morning. As we rode, I gazed out the window with so many things on my mind. As I looked out over the all too familiar terrain of East Africa, I was being reminded more of the hardships of living here than anything else. Melissa kept asking me if I was okay and while I said yes, I couldn’t hide from her that I was feeling a real weight. I was, and still am, feeling a weight of responsibility like I’ve never felt before and its more than I can bear in my own strength, help me Jesus.


When we got here in the late afternoon and got to see our new home, we were very pleased and realized how blessed we are. As our friends took off and left Melissa and I at the house by ourselves there was some excitement in the air, but in my soul, I also felt this sense of inadequacy for all that has been undertaken. I have always said that I want a life where people can see Christ in me due to the situation that I’m in requiring Him to move in powerful ways. I certainly have returned to that and now even to a greater degree with a wife to care for, and its not exactly romantic, its more like daunting, if not scary at times, because it is a situation that I can’t remotely handle in my own strength.

Evil

A few weeks ago, America came to a pinnacle moment in the modern era. So much of what has happened in our country the last ten years has centered around the terrorist attacks of September 11th. From that day on, the man at the top of the FBI’s most wanted list has been Osama Bin Laden. Of course this man was the mastermind behind the heinous attacks of September 11th. He quite clearly was a man bent towards evil and his actions followed suit.


I was at Cody and Alaina’s when President Obama made that special announcement about how the Navy Seals infiltrated the compound and killed Bin Laden. It was undoubtedly a high moment for the US Military and the President himself. The president’s approval rating goes up and a wave of patriotism sweeps over the nation.

Image from www.washingtonpost.com 

Its an interesting occurrence though, when you really think about it. Americans became happy, because the Seals did to him, what he (and his terrorist group) did to us - killing. Now, I will say that I believe it is a good thing that he is gone, for the sole reason that it could, and probably will, lead to a lot of other people not being killed in any of his terrorist attacks. However, I struggle to “celebrate” his death, or any other person’s for that matter. The Lord wanted something other for that man, but he instead chose to do evil and hardened his heart against the Lord. He subsequently died unrepentant and is now eternally separated from the love and grace of His Creator. He was a wicked man, entirely sadistic and its better for him to be dead then for him to kill other people, but its still sad. His life wasn’t merely wasted, it was hell-bent against the Kingdom of God and that’s sad. I can’t imagine what a terrible pain it would have been to lose a loved one on September 11th. And while, I hope that this can help bring closure to those precious people, I can’t imagine that it does entirely. Because whether or not some evil man that aided in their loved one’s demise is killed in Pakistan, it doesn’t bring their loved one back. An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth is far too much to ask in this situation because one man’s death isn’t equivalent to 3,000+.


I was having a conversation with Andy yesterday and we began to talk about man’s leaning towards evil. G.K. Chesterton says that that sin nature is the only part of our Christian doctrine that we can prove. I think that’s because we can take one look at the world, and realize just how much people have messed it up. This isn’t blaming it on “that person” or “that group of people,” its all of us, as humankind realizing that each of us have made decisions that were detrimental to ourselves and the world in which we live. In the case of a terrorist mastermind like Bin Laden, that’s an easy conclusion. But if in humility, we could really look at ourselves, we’d soon realize the pain that we’ve caused on ourselves and those around us. It may not be a mass murder, but its certainly not good. A person can kill others in far more ruthless ways than murdering them and none of us are above that.


One thing that Andy and I talked about is who we are when no one else is around. Its that age-old youth group proposition. Who are you when no one else is looking at you? We can all be great in the eyes of the people that see us in public settings, but we can do truly awful things behind closed doors. Whether it be a pornography addiction, slamming someone else online, suicide or any other evil that happens in private, we should realize that there is no end to the darkness we can go into.


And that common saying of “its not affecting anyone else” is just not true. The way that this world is designed is for people to inhabit it together. If you do something bad, that will negatively affect those around you. The reverse of that is equally true. If you are purchasing pornography and using it in private, that is feeding into an evil system that keeps other people, some willing and many not willing, enslaved to producing it. Furthermore, it will have a negative effect on your relationships, especially with your significant other, because you are becoming dissatisfied with them and perverting the way that you see them and the opposite sex in general. Evil spreads very easily.


And yet in this post-modern culture, people don’t want to call it like it is. I was watching the Colbert Report a few weeks ago and a man came on and was talking about a book that he wrote called “The Humanist Bible.” Clearly this man isn’t a Christian, and I’m not particularly offended by the title of his book or the contents of it. Not only because the word “bible” simply means “book,” but also because there’s no point in getting offended by non-believers, they simply don’t hold the same views as me and I can’t judge them according to things they don’t believe in (my job is to merely try and show them the Light and the freedom that I‘ve found in Jesus, before they are judged by Someone else). Anyways, he talks in the opening section about “good and its opposite.” Its interesting, he doesn’t even want to say the word “evil.” We’d like to plug our ears, close our eyes, and pretend that its not there, but how else can you explain that the twentieth century was the bloodiest century in the history of mankind? Evil exists and we must do something about it other than turning a blind eye to it.


For followers of Christ, its not enough to just get by with our salvation and punch our ticket it to heaven. Those are great things, but faith in Jesus is so much more than that. Our relationship with Him is a relationship with a General. When the Old Testament talks about God being the “Lord of Hosts” its talking about Him being the Lord over an angelic military that fights in the heavenly realm which manifests in the physical realm. We are at war with evil and we need to be more gung-ho in that pursuit. The soldier that’s revered is the one that moves in boldness and gives his entire being to the cause, whether that is in life or in death. The enemy is out there and he’s so wicked and he’s tormenting people. And our own sin nature and the evil from within is only making matters worse. We must take this seriously.


Praise be to God that He has overcome and He is overcoming. Praise Him for conquering sin and evil on the cross. He has called us into this fight for good and equipped us with His Spirit that we too may be more than conquerors, for this we give praise.

Verse of the Week: Philippians 1:20-21

So I'm struggling with this notion that for the most part, people don't really care about my blog and my mother has always told me that I'm too sensitive, so I take that probably harder than I ought to. That coupled with the craziness of planning the wedding and the inconsistent schedule that that entails has led me to not be as adamant in updating the blog and becoming more apathetic to do so. I have a couple ideas for a couple posts, but time is waning and I'm not sure it'd be worth the post. Welcome again to my love-hate relationship with blogging. Anyways, even posting the verse of the week was looked over last week, so I'm trying to make up a little by actually posting one on time this week.

I seem to be posting several verses that people "know" but they don't really know. Everybody has heard the last tag in this week's verse, but rarely know where in the Bible its found. Furthermore, memorization helps with meditation on scripture and this is certainly a verse worthwhile for both of those ventures. David Platt wrote in his recent book, Radical, about what a revolutionary concept it is to live for Christ when if you were to die that's actually a good thing. We walk around and are so afraid of death, but biblically that should be something that we look forward to. Beyond that, if we lived like the verse proposes, our lives would be inherently more risky and thus more effective and powerful. This is a challenge to me for sure and I hope that it is for you as well.

"According to my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." -Phillipians 1:20-21

Brokenness

Sometimes we just get slapped in the face with a harsh reality, such has been the case over the last week or so. 

With our wedding less than a month away, Melissa and I have begun looking for birth control solutions. Since Melissa doesn’t have insurance and our finances aren’t much to write home about, we’ve had to look for the cheapest solution possible. That led us to going to Planned Parenthood.* That must be the busiest office that I’ve ever been in. We first tried to get in at the place in Costa Mesa last week and waited for two hours before they told us they couldn’t get to us. We ended up going into the San Luis Obispo one and setting up an appointment one day and came in the next to wait another two hours before the doctor got to Melissa. The point is that place was bustling, at both places that we visited.

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

The number one demographic in the busy office? Young, unwed women. I saw two guys come in for condoms and a couple others come in to get tested for STDs (I could hear them at the reception desk). But most of them were women, or girls in some instances. Of the over 25 ladies that I saw between the two offices, Melissa was one of three or four that had a ring on her finger. Some girls acted nonchalant, I saw a few tearing up, but overall it all seemed like commonplace for the people there. The saddest sight, was a timid girl that was waiting a good while, Melissa and I were heart broken to see this girl that couldn’t have been over 14 years old; she was still developing physically even. 


In our futile efforts to enjoy life apart from God, we’ve cultivated a deep brokenness through personal and corporate sins. How else can you explain such a young girl seeking services at Planned Parenthood? The sad thing is that this sort of behavior is often celebrated. I saw something on TV where Lil’ Wayne was boasting that he lost his virginity at the age of 11. The layers of society that propagate this activity is incredibly diverse. Hollywood promotes it and acts like its both normative and completely satisfying, our lawmakers pass laws that reflect a growing constituency that sexual immorality is good and so forth. Meanwhile, the average age of people having sex for the first time keeps going down while STDs, abortions and broken lives goes up.


And how are we to react as Christians? This certainly  plays out in other areas of society, but lets stick with sexuality for the time being. When we first went into the office in San Luis, we were greeted by some picketers from a local church. They were kind and cordial, but we obviously knew why they were there. As we got out of the car, one of the ladies in a big sun hat approached us with some brochures. We smiled and said thank you, she then asked if we had any prayer requests and we told her about our wedding coming up and the work in Tanzania. Since this is a sister of mine, I didn’t want her to think lowly of us, so I pulled out all the stops to show her any strand of righteousness in us. I told her how we’re getting married so we had to start birth control (implying our virginity), we oppose abortion, we work on the mission field with orphans for crying out loud. She then told us that we should go to the Community Health Center instead of Planned Parenthood. Alas, we told her that since Planned Parenthood is free and CHC isn’t, we would still be going there and we soon walked up the stairs into the place. While these ladies were kind enough, we still felt quite uneasy with the encounter. Maybe it was the grotesque images of aborted babies on their vehicle or maybe it was just the subtle finger wagging we received. It didn’t matter that we were approaching our marriage biblically, their mind was made up and we received the brunt of their views on Planned Parenthood.


How then are we to behave then, as followers of Christ? Humility is always a good place to start. We must realize that we aren’t immune to the sin and brokenness, nor is our family. 


Over the last week, Melissa and I have been engaging with a relative of hers that has caused a lot of pain to Melissa. In an attempt to show grace to this person, Melissa got burned again and it has brought up past pain as well and could potentially be detrimental to our wedding. “He’s very broken” and “he needs Jesus” are constantly on Melissa’s lips and its entirely true. This brokenness of his was passed on to him from another relative before him. Sin is a disease and it always leads to brokenness and pain. If we do not allow God to heal us and change us, we will inevitably pass it on to another. 


God created us for community and no matter what we think or want, our actions have a profound effect on others. The reason Jesus stressed discipleship is because He knew that human relationship is the most influential force in the changing of a human soul. The reverse is just as true. If we don’t abide in Christ and His righteousness, we will pass on sin and brokenness to those we are in relationship with, as opposed to the love that we find in God. That has been the case with this relative and because he hasn’t allowed God to deal with his brokenness, he has been passing it on in his interactions with Melissa and others.


It is a sad thing, but its not un-redeemable. The whole reason that Jesus came was because God recognized the brokenness of humankind and sent Him to save us, inviting us into His Kingdom of love and reconciliation. There isn’t a person on this earth that is out of His reach if they would repent and allow the Holy Spirit to do His work. And it doesn’t end there, He’s so powerful that He can topple principalities that are ingrained within societal strongholds. He is able and willing; and He’s beckoning us to join Him in this work. And that’s where we are to hang our hats. While sin begets brokenness and we pass the disease on from one person to the other, at any moment that we invite God to redeem and heal, He does just that. We are to be like Him, ministers of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:17-21). I wouldn’t say that picketing, pronouncing damnation during a time of grace or judging unbelievers according to a Book they don’t believe in will help. At the same time, the more common Christian ailment of apathy is equally detrimental. Instead we are to show compassion, integrity, righteousness, love and whole-hearted devotion to God which will automatically lead to radical engagement. The beauty is in His design of this. That we being filled with the Holy Spirit, are able to bring this work of reconciliation over brokenness to pass, for this we give praise.


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*I realize that Planned Parenthood is a very controversial establishment and I personally disagree with a lot of their stances on sexuality and procreation, not the least of which is abortion. However, we decided that this is the best path for us with our financial situation. The organization does offer some good services, why not utilize them for two people that have chosen to wait for their marriage to become sexually active? Why should we pay more for choosing to do it the right way? Not to mention, I’m a tax payer and a third of the organization’s funding comes from government grants and contracts. Whether or not I think they should get government funding is another thing, but the fact is right now they do receive a significant portion of money from the feds which qualifies us to use the positive non-sinful practices of the establishment.

Expectations

This last week has flown by and to be quite honest its been a tough week for us. A lot of things didn’t go according to plan. Certainly not the least of which was losing the ring, but the hits didn’t stop there. It was a painful week for Melissa recovering from her eye surgery, as well as some additional financial hits and frustrations with wedding plans not going to plan. I often say that things in Tanzania just don’t ever go according to plan, well, this week California’s proving to be the same way. I think part of being human is building up high expectations and then being taken aback when such things don’t go according to what we thought.


Quite fittingly this was holy week - the week that we celebrate the most important event in history and the crowning work of Jesus’ ministry on earth.  I sat in church last week on Palm Sunday and was reminded of all that the day meant. I had trouble following where the preacher was going and I couldn’t help but think about the people that greeted Jesus waving those palm branches. They had some lofty expectations of what Jesus was about to do.

I question the historical likelihood of Jesus riding side saddle sticking his right arm in front of Him as He rode. Image via Wikipedia

Do you ever wonder why the people were waving palm branches as Jesus entered Jerusalem? It was a symbol referring to Judas Maccabeus’ victory over the Syrian Seleucids that were occupying Jerusalem almost 200 years before Jesus took his donkey through the city that day. The palm branch was his sign of victory and was stamped on their coins. The revolt was, as all revolts are, a violent affair. The Maccabean Revolt is still revered in the Jewish religion and celebrated through the winter celebration of Hanukkah. It was even fresher in the Jews’ minds during the first century and they were looking forward to what they thought Jesus would do in overthrowing the oppressive Roman government. They basked in their heritage and waved a symbol of military victory as yelling to Jesus, “Hosanna!” “Save us!”


Funny how it was these same crowds that were riled up by the priesthood to have Jesus nailed to a cross only five days later. Fickle? Perhaps. But it goes deeper than that. These people were expecting him to do a mighty work. While He may have never exhibited violence towards people (let some tables have it in the temple though), the people recognized that He was indeed powerful - powerful enough to do a number to the Romans. Imagine their surprise and disgust when only five days later, this supposed prophet, was on trial for blasphemy. Safe to say that their previous expectations were unmet and the result was a historic upheaval.

War

So I was in Branson, Missouri last week and found myself engulfed in a culture that was a bit different than I’ve grown accustomed to. Quite certain if you were to take a poll most of the people there were “red state” kind of people. It got me thinking about what it means to be a Christian that lives in the states; and thinking subsequently led to writing of course (click here for my post on patriotism and here for my blog on government). I knew that inevitably, I couldn’t approach this monster topic without approaching the issue of war as the military is a major facet of a country and its government. I’ve been excited to tackle it and try to look at it in the scope of the New Testament/ New Covenant theology that I believe the Bible presents. And yet, its obviously a very touchy subject, because the military is something that people give their lives to and in turn are revered for their commitment. With that in mind, I feel like I’m supposed to give a disclaimer and say that these are my personal views and do not necessarily reflect those of Hidden With Christ (as if people care what a non-profit NGO completely unrelated to the military cares about war). And I certainly hope that people would want to help HWC because of the mandates of scripture and the work that we do amongst orphans, not because of the views of one of their missionaries - how’s that for starting with a disclaimer?

So I heard it said not long ago that Branson is Vegas without teeth, or maybe it was dentures, I can’t remember. At any rate, one of this city’s major attractions are its performance shows. My parents have taken a liking to this interesting city tucked away in the Ozarks and wanted to take me and Melissa to their favorite show, Pierce Arrow. It is a variety show and while I don’t typically listen to southern rock, country or gospel music, I was entertained. The show was going well and as it came to its finale, I started feeling a little uncomfortable. The comedian came out and for the first time in the show was being serious. He said that they do shows often and never want to miss a chance to honor the military veterans that come. He asked all those that have served in the military to stand up and I was astounded as I saw what seemed like half the men in the theater rise to their feet. The people then began to give them a huge round of applause and one of the singers came out to begin a very patriotic song. The grand crescendo and finale of the show had every singer as well as the comedian and band singing the song as American flags waved across the TV screen and red, white and blue confetti fell from the ceiling. I was blown away.

There is something that the Lord has put inside of people that drives them to want to live for something bigger than themselves. Many people ignore this and live domicile lifestyles. While others take up a cause that is bigger than themselves. Not all of these causes are worthwhile - I’m sure that you can think of some cause  (NRA, PETA, countless world governments, etc.) that you personally disagree with. I believe that this desire for something greater is part of being created in the image of God. God knew that He is bigger than us and to live for Him would require us to have something inside us driving us to such a life. I believe that sometimes that desire becomes misdirected to something other than Christ.

Jesus knew that His Kingdom was the only one that was worth living for; His Kingdom is the only one in which people get it right and live right. Every person in the world ought to follow Jesus and advance the Kingdom of Heaven. There is nothing else worthwhile. Any part of our lives that doesn’t see His glory and His Kingdom as the focus is a waste. We ought to repent and walk in His ways. As a human, I fully realize in my own life that there are aspects, be them desires, thoughts or actions, that are twisted and wrong. Lord have mercy on me.

Jesus talks about this Kingdom of His in John 18:36 as he converses with Pilate before His execution. The first phrase is something that people often hear, its become trendy even. You can’t drive for more than fifteen minutes without seeing a car that has “Not Of This World” on it. But that’s not the end of the verse.

Government

*Note to reader: I’m doing a three part series on America and the gospel of Jesus. The first one on patriotism is here. You may or may not want to check that out before reading this one. Now back to our regularly scheduled blog…


One of the things that I love about studying Jesus in the Bible is that in all His interactions, He doesn’t seem to leave any stone unturned. All of His teachings and actions have huge impacts across all facets of society.  His economic stance is that there’s enough for everyone, like with the loaves and fishes. His thoughts on race are that it doesn’t matter if you’re Jewish or a hated Samaritan, or any other Gentile for that matter, He invites you into the Kingdom, like the woman at the well. As he teaches His family values in the sermon on the mount, He says that marriage is sacred and binding. And then there’s this other area of our society.


A bit more controversial I suppose is Christ’s view on government. I believe that Jesus and the Bible say a lot about government and politics. People tend to camp around different flags as to what they think a biblical view of government is. Some are apathetic, believing that Jesus wasn’t political at all. They think about the fact that He perpetually dodged the idea that the Messiah would come and set up an earthly government right away. Others belittle His interaction in American politics, relegating Him to little sayings like, “The Father is a Republican, Jesus is a Democrat and the Holy Spirit is Independent.” No matter what stance an individual takes, they are quite certain that God is on their political side.


As we try to become like Christ and model our lives after the principles that He teaches us in the Bible, we must maintain this solemn stance: God is holy. He’s entirely different and He doesn’t fit nicely into the little boxes that we’d like to put Him in. There are very clear mandates and principles throughout the Bible that we can bank on, but there are also areas that appear more gray that require a more discerning eye and a gracious understanding of His magnitude. When we try to say that God is on our side with our particular party, we should always remember this stance of humility.

Theology of Action

I grew up in the church and have spent a lot of time listening to a lot of sermons. I then went to a Christian university and sat in a bunch of Bible classes and learned a lot. In the quick spread of information in the 21st-century, I’ve listened to pod casts, read blogs and books about God. All of this in an attempt to grow in my relationship with the Lord through glorifying Him with a proper theology; the study of God. All of this is well and good and I have indeed learned things about God and wouldn’t be ashamed to share my knowledge of the Bible and the ways of the Lord. I delight in this growing knowledge of Him.


At the same time, I have come to the realization that we learn a lot more about God through acting out our faith. The first service that I did as I began this gauntlet of speaking was at the Garden and as Darren was asking me questions on stage, I stated something that I hadn’t previously said before, but then realized that it was entirely true. I have learned more about the gospel in the last year through my relationship with 26 Tanzanian orphans than I have ever learned through all the sermons that I’ve ever heard combined. 


We always seem to have many words and can pay lip service to the Kingdom. As someone who enjoys writing and speaking, I probably am worst than most. And yet how many sermons have we heard, or even books have we read have truly changed our lives? We sometimes use that tag “changed my life” too flippantly, because the sincerity of such a change has to be played out for a much longer duration than the moment in which it happened. I will stress and strain over things I write or sermons I write and my intent is to inspire, encourage, challenge, bless, you know all those positive things that would change a person’s life. Yet in all truth, chances are I haven’t produced any words that have seriously altered someone’s life. 


Love. Isn’t that what we’re after? Jesus’ words in John 13:34-35: “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”  “Let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.” (1 John 3:18). That is powerful stuff. I love the way the Bible builds on the same themes and love in the Kingdom of God is one of the most prominent. The implication in these verses is that we are not only defined by love, but that love is to be love in action. 

Radical

I had a nice long conversation on Sunday night with Melissa and I was sharing my heart as one might say. In the midst of exhaustion, a level of discouragement has been setting in from time to time as of late. I know the Lord has more for His people and yet I don’t know what to do in getting us all there. 


I’ve now been in California for over a month on this furlough. In so many ways, being here feels like one of the last places I want to be and yet I know that the Lord has me here for His own purposes. Five Sundays and six churches behind me, I’m left wanting. I have spoken at good churches full of people that I love and that God loves. Yet, there’s so much more that we could be doing, there’s so much more that we should be doing. 


I can’t tell if its wrong of me to say all this or if it would be wrong of me to not say it. Lord, help me. Shane Claiborne talks about a visit that he had to a church in Iraq. In seeing the vibrancy of the church and the amount of believers, he shares his amazement with the pastor. The pastor smirks and notes that America didn’t invent Christianity, we just domesticated it. 


Domestic gospel. We are to be the salt and light of the world, we are the bearers of the good news and our message comes across domicile. That’s wrong. It doesn’t even make sense and yet that appears to be what’s happening.   


Potential. That’s one thing that I kept repeating over and over to Melissa the other night. There is so much potential in the United States church. Do we really care about our witness or are we more interested in image management? There are some incredible ways that we could be living out our faith that would revolutionize not just our own lives but also the way that people see us. 

Kingdom

Resurrection, bringing life out of death
Filling up lungs, suffocation brings breath
Night time falls and still a light shines
And it consumes the darkness as we shield our eyes
We beat our tanks into tractors, guns into rakes
Discord disappears with the music we make
Out of doubt and confusion, hope will arise
We'll watch Heaven come to Earth with our very own eyes
Love overcomes hate, unity over division
The deaf will hear the music and blind receive the vision
The lame will rise up and come to their feet
And lead the parade as we dance in the street
Finally there's peace and everlasting joy
And the King will call before Him every girl, every boy
We'll delight in His presence each singing a new song
And we'll live in perfection for all eternity long
In adoring reverence we'll humbly bow
Oh, Lord Jesus, bring Your Kingdom now

Brandon Michael

April 4th, 2009

Desire

Having ended the fast in the last half hour (first thing in my mouth was a spoonful of peanut butter, in case you were wondering), there are so many different things that I can write about, because the Lord was definitely at work in the fast. I’m going to try to roll up several of them into this post and share what the Lord has done.

I have this tendency towards idle productivity. I notice this at my house first and foremost. At my house, there’s not a whole lot to do. I don’t have a TV, I don’t have a DVD drive on my computer (or a single DVD for that matter), I don’t have internet at my house and I don’t have anyone to talk to aside from the Lord and if I’m feeling delusional, any of the various lizards that come in to visit me. Because of that, I try to toil in the interest of growing spiritually. How many pod casts can I listen to tonight? How many chapters will I read in my book? Will I master any new worship songs on the guitar? All of these are good things, but I find that my mindset isn’t always coming from the best angle.

Fasting

From time to time, I have friends that will ask me about my take on fasting, if you will. For those friends, this one’s for you… and its also for me.

It wasn’t until my junior year of college, at the age of 20, that I had my first fast. Somewhat surprising due to the fact that I had accepted the Lord when I was in preschool; it shouldn’t take a believer 16 years to get around to a part of the Christian walk that is so vital and helpful. For that year of schooling, I set aside every Thursday to fast and then it would be ended after my Thursday night prayer meeting. That year was definitely a growing year for me as I found out more about fasting; physically, theologically and emotionally.

My head always wants to make sense of these things and make it into a formula. I remember driving to work one Thursday, profoundly frustrated with my fast and whether or not I was “doing it the right way.” The thing that made sense in my mind was to add an element to this particular formula of Thursday fasts. I prayed to the Lord in my frustration and asked “What do you want? Do you want me to just not end it late Thursday night and just go to sleep to end it in the morning?” “No!” He replied instantly. I was quite taken back, because I thought that was the part that I, quite grudgingly, would need to add. He instead talked to me that He didn’t want that, He wanted my heart. So its not some religious practice that I have to do out of obligation? No, it’s a way that our hearts become rendered to His heart and that’s what moves the stuff around us.

Process

After a crazy time getting back to Moshi, I’m back in Moshi. I find myself writing from within my own living room but in some ways I still feel like I’m back in Asia. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m listening to Jesus Culture or that I have another stomach ache complete with vomit tasting hiccup burps (just thought I‘d share), but I truly feel like there’s a part of me that came alive there and I’m trying to figure out how that looks like in my blessed normal context of Moshi. It is a bit to process.

My trip was amazing. God did new things in my life and I feel like I grew a lot. Its kind of an odd feeling. While I can articulate some of the stuff that He did (at least enough for eight previous blogs in addition to this one), I feel like the heart of what He did and my feelings towards the trip are beyond diction. That seems to be a recurring theme in my life, not having the words. Quite the quandary for someone who fancies himself a writer. What God does is beyond words and such was the case on this trip. Nonetheless, here’s my feeble attempt…

Life is all about the first and second greatest commandment. That we love God and love others (Matthew 22: 37-40). I love God more after this trip and I thank Him that He is here with me in Tanzania as well. I thank God that He is omnipresent and that while we left Asia, He stayed there and came with us. And yet, no one else came back with me. I do miss walking around Darjeeling or seeing the beauty as our tour bus winded through the Himalayas. But more than anything I miss the people. The ministry takes place before the Lord and is for the benefit of the people.

Himalayas Post #3 - The Gospel

Written on September 6th, 2010

Romans 1:16: “For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and also for the Greek.”

We had moved on to the second hotel in another city that we were staying at and had the night free so we spent time together as a team. This was our third night in this nation, but only our first time meeting since we arrived. We were sharing about the times that we’ve had in intercession for and interaction with the people thus far. I shared what the Lord had been doing in my life over the last couple days and was encouraged by what the others were sharing. In particular, Noah and Katie shared about a young woman that worked at the previous hotel who they found out was a believer, secretly for the most part. They shared about their conversation with her and how she came to their room and they were able to pray over her. A conversation ensued in which I said something that just came out of my mouth without me thinking about it, but just resounded as truth in my soul: “When the Gospel is pure, it is unstoppable.”

Its quite an incredible thought to realize the impact that the Gospel has had on this world over the last 2000 years. It truly is the good news that has allowed millions upon millions of people to live a life that is satisfying, purposeful and full of love. The message is simple enough. Because of our shortcomings and sins, God, who is love, made and executed a divine plan for us to be reconciled to Him. He sent His beloved Son to come to Earth and pay the price for all of our sins through His crucifixion. Because He was without flaw and both God and Man, His sacrifice was sufficient for all of our sin. By the power of God, He overcame death and sin with one victorious resurrection and showed us the way to be fully human. An age old story, and ever refreshing as it is truly the best story ever written.

India Post #5 - Power

We serve a powerful God and He makes His ways known throughout His creation. Praise the Lord.

I find that I’m in a place of seeing God’s power and being satisfied and at the same time wanting more. The last few days of ministry have gone well and I truly do see Him working. He moves in supernatural ways and His desire is for us. His desire is to bless us by giving us more of Him, our only true need.

Prophecy is such a powerful tool that He has given us and something that is becoming a bigger and bigger work in my ministry. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 14: 1; 3 “Pursue love, and desire spiritual gifts, but especially that you may prophesy… He who prophesies speaks edification and exhortation and comfort to men.” I’ve seen the power of this many times before and the ministry recently has given more examples that exactly fulfill this scripture. I know for all my non-charismatic brothers and sisters this may seem a little out there, but I testify to you that it is powerful and this scripture backs me up. The prophecy given does not carry the weight of scripture and like prayer, disciplines and everything else in the Christian walk, it is something that we can practice. A person that loves the Lord and desires to do His will in encouraging others will say something that is truly of the Lord, at the same time it is possible to slip slightly and say something that isn’t exactly what God would say. That doesn’t make the believer a false prophet. A false prophet seeks to devour, deceive and destroy. He stands against the Lord and uses counterfeit, even demonic, power to persuade people away from the true God. Whereas, the believer prophesying will allow the Holy Spirit to confirm the words within the heart and mind of the person that is receiving the word. As Ryan put it they can “chew up the meat and spit out the bone.”

Death

I was at a party with many of my friends and it was if I was looking at myself from an above head third person. I found myself talking with a larger man that reminded me of John Candy. He was walking with me and giving me a detail by detail account of how I would die. As he was speaking, he said “and then I will step away from you” and as he said that he stepped away and at that moment, we both fell over dead. I was shot in the head, but I don’t know where it came from. My body laid crumbled on the ground. My spiritual self rose out of my body and walked out the door, somehow with a body of its own. I was now in first person view and made a phone call to 911. I explain to the operator what happened and told her that my physical body was dead. I tell her that its okay. “I have Jesus in my heart and I’m going to Heaven now.” I ask her to send the police. I sit down outside and wait to go up to Heaven. My friend Dusty comes outside and I can’t tell if he can see me or not. I call out to him and he tells me that he also called 911, but the police aren’t coming because they don’t believe us being as it is Halloween. I go back inside and sit on the couch. I continue hanging out with my friends and contemplate my confusion on whether or not I’m actually dead. There’s a knock on the door. People tell me to hide in case it’s the cops and they find me alive. I remain confused on whether or not I died. The door opens and my friend Kelli comes in with three guys in Halloween masks. Kelli sits next to me and the other guys speak with the other party goers. The scene goes on… at some point during my sleep, I remember explaining to someone to not put grease down the sink.

A few months ago I read a book about the way the Lord speaks to us in our dreams and I’ve begun journaling them and indeed have been learning from them. This is a dream that I had Thursday night/Friday morning. I was talking with the Lord and while I don’t understand all the elements, He did enlighten me to this idea of dying to self and its been something on my heart a lot lately.

The Bible is an amazing book, you should read it. There are some incredible things in there and it gives us the very heart of God portrayed through the lives and words of saints past. The Lord has been giving me revelation over the last couple weeks and I think that it is a good word to remember for me and everyone else that desires to follow Jesus. A couple of weeks ago I wrote about sacrifice and I’m thinking about what it looks like to take that action to the highest degree. To sacrifice to the point of death. This could mean a physical death and for many Christians past and in this present age, that’s absolutely asked of them, they undergo martyrdom faithfully. And yet there is also this whole dying to self thing. What do you think that looks like?