Theology of Action

I grew up in the church and have spent a lot of time listening to a lot of sermons. I then went to a Christian university and sat in a bunch of Bible classes and learned a lot. In the quick spread of information in the 21st-century, I’ve listened to pod casts, read blogs and books about God. All of this in an attempt to grow in my relationship with the Lord through glorifying Him with a proper theology; the study of God. All of this is well and good and I have indeed learned things about God and wouldn’t be ashamed to share my knowledge of the Bible and the ways of the Lord. I delight in this growing knowledge of Him.


At the same time, I have come to the realization that we learn a lot more about God through acting out our faith. The first service that I did as I began this gauntlet of speaking was at the Garden and as Darren was asking me questions on stage, I stated something that I hadn’t previously said before, but then realized that it was entirely true. I have learned more about the gospel in the last year through my relationship with 26 Tanzanian orphans than I have ever learned through all the sermons that I’ve ever heard combined. 


We always seem to have many words and can pay lip service to the Kingdom. As someone who enjoys writing and speaking, I probably am worst than most. And yet how many sermons have we heard, or even books have we read have truly changed our lives? We sometimes use that tag “changed my life” too flippantly, because the sincerity of such a change has to be played out for a much longer duration than the moment in which it happened. I will stress and strain over things I write or sermons I write and my intent is to inspire, encourage, challenge, bless, you know all those positive things that would change a person’s life. Yet in all truth, chances are I haven’t produced any words that have seriously altered someone’s life. 


Love. Isn’t that what we’re after? Jesus’ words in John 13:34-35: “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”  “Let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.” (1 John 3:18). That is powerful stuff. I love the way the Bible builds on the same themes and love in the Kingdom of God is one of the most prominent. The implication in these verses is that we are not only defined by love, but that love is to be love in action. 

Of Storms and Reflections

Before I get going on this blog, I feel like I should have literary integrity and come clean with you. Writing this blog was my back-up plan for the evening. I was supposed to skype with my folks followed by Melissa. However, I live in Tanzania and simple things don’t always go according to plan. Instead of skyping with loved ones on this Thanksgiving weekend, its been one thing after another keeping that from happening. Thursday the internet was down all day, Friday the power was out altogether, today everything was good to go except that a power surge fried the network switch for the internet upstairs and I have no way of getting on to skype. However, the good news (aside from “talking” with all of you lovely people) is that it gave me time to run to the store to pick up a few essentials and in the process found that my most frequented store has begun carrying Mountain Dew. Thank you Lord. I’m not much of a soda drinker these days, but MD has a special place in my heart. During high school I hit that drink hard; I consistently had a Blood-Mountain Dew Content Level of .08 or higher. I was legally stoked/hyper. Good times, good times. Makes me think back on life, ah the memories.

Speaking of reflecting on life (forgive my lame transition), this weekend offers me a unique opportunity to reminisce. I received an email on Thursday informing me that I’d be preaching this Sunday at ICC. Not uncommon to find that out only a few days before getting up there. I began preparing last night and I as I was asking the Lord what to speak on, he gave me the words “heartbreak” and “loneliness.” I didn’t really know what to do with those, but then He guided me to Mark 4:35-41. The first scripture that I ever preached on and haven‘t preached on against since.

My final semester of college was nuts. I did 21 units on top of working and only the Lord got me through it all. One of my classes was an upper division class on The Gospel of Mark. I loved that class and the culmination was my 14 page exegetical analysis paper on Mark 4:35-41. I was quite proud of the paper and while the Bible is enormous, I do fancy myself somewhat of an expert on those seven verses. I took all that info and crammed it into a sermon that I delivered in the Tanzanite capital of the world, Mererani, Tanzania two and a half years ago.

I’ve noticed that when I preach, and also when I write, I tend to speak out of what the Lord is teaching right then. That was certainly the case when the Lord opened my eyes to this passage that I subsequently preached on. I’ve written about what was going on in my life at that time, so I won’t bore you all with that rabbit trail. Needless to say, life was tough. I grew more in that season of my life than perhaps any other. It wasn’t pretty though; it truly was a storm like the one in this passage. The change towards righteousness took place not out of a joyous victory, but rather heartbreak. I was confused, sad and lost. The Lord spoke to me out of the storm and took me so radically in a new life direction that I stand on the other side of that storm and thank the Lord that He not only calmed the wind and waves, but used the storm to bring me to where I am today.

Lately, I find myself not only reflecting on that time of my life, but also the last year of ministry. Believe it or not, I’m wrapping up month eleven right now and I leave for my furlough in about five weeks. Nuts. Yesterday morning, as I was getting ready for work I was listening to the worship play list that I listen to every morning. I always put the play list on shuffle and as chance would have it, back to back Phil Wickham songs came on. The first was “Heaven Song” and it took me back to January when I landed in TZ and found out that Anjela had passed away while I was in transit. The second was “Divine Romance” and it took me back to my birthday in April when my Life Group sent me a affirmation video that had the song in the background. Both of those seem like so long ago now and that is because they are pretty long ago now. Its been a long year. Its been a hard year with more difficulty to come for sure. Its been a great year too though.

In a moment of unrest as I was unloading recent troubles on Melissa over skype, I could hardly continue to talk. At one point all I could muster up was “I’m not the same person that left Long Beach in December.” I don’t think I even realize how true that is. Perhaps I’ll have a better idea when I’m back in those similar situations in California. I can’t get my mind around all that’s taken place in my soul this year. I feel like I know the Lord so much better and yet am more mystified than ever. I feel like I’ve learned so much and yet know so little. I feel like I’m spending so much more time organizing my thoughts and yet have so much less clarity. It is a strange tension to be in and I can’t grasp it myself.  

This passage remains important to me and continues to teach me. In verse 38 it says that Jesus “was in the stern, asleep on a pillow.” The cool thing about exegesis is that you get more out of the little unnoticeable parts of scripture like “He was in the stern.” In boats of that time and place, the stern was the place where the helmsman sat to steer the ship. The pillow was heavy and was a normal accessory for shifting weight in the boat. So it wasn’t just that Jesus was sleeping, He was in fact asleep as opposed to steering the boat. He was asleep at the wheel. Meanwhile, the waves are crashing, the wind is blowing and the disciples are freaking out.

Remember how I said that the Lord typically leads me to preach/write on something He’s doing in me right now? Well, in reflecting on my recent feelings of frustration, anxiety and loneliness in addition to the physical changes to take place soon through taking a break from TOA, spending a longer furlough in CA and getting married in June, I realize that I am once again in a storm of sorts. The dialogue between Jesus and His disciples undoubtedly is reiterated countless times between Him and His disciples today: “Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?” (v. 38) “Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?” (v. 40).

When the Lord first began speaking this passage to me in early 2008, it felt like I was perishing at times. To some extent, it felt like God didn’t care; like He was asleep at the wheel. I was fearful and based my charges against Him out of a lack of faith and understanding. Storms are common in our walk. There is so much in this fallen world that seeks to scare us, thus debilitating us from walking in the destinies that the Lord has put before us. When we come through these seasons of testing, He wants to know the answer to those same questions. Are you a fearful person? Do you have faith? My prayer, hope and resolution is that I will be a person that is based in faith, not fear.

Faith. The Lord has been faithful. He has increased my faith by so much over the last few years. He is using my current situations to continue to grow my faith. As we turn to Him through the storms in life, He will do that for all of us, for this we give praise.

Plans

“A man’s heart plans his way; But the Lord directs his steps” Proverbs 16:9

A seemingly common thing that Lydia and I have discussed both in regards to my time at TOA as well as the concept in general is that we as people love to try and figure things out in our heads. We love to plan and scheme and think how we’ll get ourselves in this position and then we can perform this task and so on. Perhaps one of the biggest things that living in Tanzania is teaching me, is that doing that is quite useless.

There was a time in my life when I was planning. I was planning a lot of things. I had one year left at Vanguard and I had a plan, a pretty good one I thought. I loved living in southern California, I loved working with kids, I loved my current schooling, I loved the girl I was a dating. Taking all those things, I came up with a good plan. I would finish my schooling, get engaged, get my teaching credential, get married, start teaching and settle down in sunny southern California. I planned from my heart, then the Lord directed me elsewhere.

Himalayas Post #3 - The Gospel

Written on September 6th, 2010

Romans 1:16: “For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and also for the Greek.”

We had moved on to the second hotel in another city that we were staying at and had the night free so we spent time together as a team. This was our third night in this nation, but only our first time meeting since we arrived. We were sharing about the times that we’ve had in intercession for and interaction with the people thus far. I shared what the Lord had been doing in my life over the last couple days and was encouraged by what the others were sharing. In particular, Noah and Katie shared about a young woman that worked at the previous hotel who they found out was a believer, secretly for the most part. They shared about their conversation with her and how she came to their room and they were able to pray over her. A conversation ensued in which I said something that just came out of my mouth without me thinking about it, but just resounded as truth in my soul: “When the Gospel is pure, it is unstoppable.”

Its quite an incredible thought to realize the impact that the Gospel has had on this world over the last 2000 years. It truly is the good news that has allowed millions upon millions of people to live a life that is satisfying, purposeful and full of love. The message is simple enough. Because of our shortcomings and sins, God, who is love, made and executed a divine plan for us to be reconciled to Him. He sent His beloved Son to come to Earth and pay the price for all of our sins through His crucifixion. Because He was without flaw and both God and Man, His sacrifice was sufficient for all of our sin. By the power of God, He overcame death and sin with one victorious resurrection and showed us the way to be fully human. An age old story, and ever refreshing as it is truly the best story ever written.

India Post #5 - Power

We serve a powerful God and He makes His ways known throughout His creation. Praise the Lord.

I find that I’m in a place of seeing God’s power and being satisfied and at the same time wanting more. The last few days of ministry have gone well and I truly do see Him working. He moves in supernatural ways and His desire is for us. His desire is to bless us by giving us more of Him, our only true need.

Prophecy is such a powerful tool that He has given us and something that is becoming a bigger and bigger work in my ministry. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 14: 1; 3 “Pursue love, and desire spiritual gifts, but especially that you may prophesy… He who prophesies speaks edification and exhortation and comfort to men.” I’ve seen the power of this many times before and the ministry recently has given more examples that exactly fulfill this scripture. I know for all my non-charismatic brothers and sisters this may seem a little out there, but I testify to you that it is powerful and this scripture backs me up. The prophecy given does not carry the weight of scripture and like prayer, disciplines and everything else in the Christian walk, it is something that we can practice. A person that loves the Lord and desires to do His will in encouraging others will say something that is truly of the Lord, at the same time it is possible to slip slightly and say something that isn’t exactly what God would say. That doesn’t make the believer a false prophet. A false prophet seeks to devour, deceive and destroy. He stands against the Lord and uses counterfeit, even demonic, power to persuade people away from the true God. Whereas, the believer prophesying will allow the Holy Spirit to confirm the words within the heart and mind of the person that is receiving the word. As Ryan put it they can “chew up the meat and spit out the bone.”

Death

I was at a party with many of my friends and it was if I was looking at myself from an above head third person. I found myself talking with a larger man that reminded me of John Candy. He was walking with me and giving me a detail by detail account of how I would die. As he was speaking, he said “and then I will step away from you” and as he said that he stepped away and at that moment, we both fell over dead. I was shot in the head, but I don’t know where it came from. My body laid crumbled on the ground. My spiritual self rose out of my body and walked out the door, somehow with a body of its own. I was now in first person view and made a phone call to 911. I explain to the operator what happened and told her that my physical body was dead. I tell her that its okay. “I have Jesus in my heart and I’m going to Heaven now.” I ask her to send the police. I sit down outside and wait to go up to Heaven. My friend Dusty comes outside and I can’t tell if he can see me or not. I call out to him and he tells me that he also called 911, but the police aren’t coming because they don’t believe us being as it is Halloween. I go back inside and sit on the couch. I continue hanging out with my friends and contemplate my confusion on whether or not I’m actually dead. There’s a knock on the door. People tell me to hide in case it’s the cops and they find me alive. I remain confused on whether or not I died. The door opens and my friend Kelli comes in with three guys in Halloween masks. Kelli sits next to me and the other guys speak with the other party goers. The scene goes on… at some point during my sleep, I remember explaining to someone to not put grease down the sink.

A few months ago I read a book about the way the Lord speaks to us in our dreams and I’ve begun journaling them and indeed have been learning from them. This is a dream that I had Thursday night/Friday morning. I was talking with the Lord and while I don’t understand all the elements, He did enlighten me to this idea of dying to self and its been something on my heart a lot lately.

The Bible is an amazing book, you should read it. There are some incredible things in there and it gives us the very heart of God portrayed through the lives and words of saints past. The Lord has been giving me revelation over the last couple weeks and I think that it is a good word to remember for me and everyone else that desires to follow Jesus. A couple of weeks ago I wrote about sacrifice and I’m thinking about what it looks like to take that action to the highest degree. To sacrifice to the point of death. This could mean a physical death and for many Christians past and in this present age, that’s absolutely asked of them, they undergo martyrdom faithfully. And yet there is also this whole dying to self thing. What do you think that looks like?

Something to Say

From time to time, I fancy myself as a writer. Call it pride if you will, but its probably mere delusion. Here’s another attempt at something meaningful…

When I was back in California, I taught kids at church. I was in a groove and whether it was Rock Harbor, Pacific Pointe or The Garden I could step in and teach the kids something about Jesus and their lives. It was fairly easy. I would have a curriculum and I would fill it out with my own ideas. Even if I was making my own curriculum like I did for the junior highers at PPC, it was more of a give and take discussion so the teaching just came naturally. I’m no longer a children’s pastor, junior high pastor or Sunday school teacher and trying to impart anything to anyone seems to have gotten harder.

Last Saturday, I preached at Pastor Unity’s Youth Conference. Sunday I preached at ICC. When did this start happening? In the states, I’m not a preacher. Culturally I realize that Tanzanian Christians want to honor Americans and feel like they could get something from us spiritually. That is true, but its far from automatic. An American is just as likely to get up there and blow a bunch of hot air as a Tanzanian, conversely a Tanzanian is just as likely to stand up and deliver a moving sermon. And yet I’m an American, although I’m young and don’t have seminary experience, I’m now a default preacher (and elder apparently).

Weight

I’ve been thinking a lot the last few days and in my mind I’m trying to fit all the pieces together.

This is how it all has come about. Tuesday during discipleship with Ryan, we talked about the ministry of Jesus and walking in the supernatural on a normal basis and why it doesn’t happen in our lives like it did in Jesus’ or other followers past and present. That night I watched a movie called “Finger of God” which was about the movement of God in supernatural ways in the present day church throughout the world, much of which was in severely impoverished countries. It had me thinking so in my devotion on Wednesday, I shared on that part of our walking in the Kingdom, but felt like an idiot, because its not really all that present in my life. Thursday night worship was amazing. It was prophetic, it was powerful, it stirred our faith and brought us to question why in the face of so much need, we personally don’t employ all the power given to us. On Friday, I visited the website of an organization called Discover the Journey. I was watching their awareness videos and I was floored by some of the stuff that they showed, specifically about the orphan problem in Iraq. I could feel the weight of the needs of this world. I’ve been carrying that weight to this point and after a long conversation over and after dinner with Lauren and some others, the fire in my belly has just been growing.

What are we doing? What are we doing? What am I doing?

I lack appropriate words for what is going on in my head. I’ve felt intense personal frustration since being here, but the last few days it has been this depressing frustration about the world’s plight and the American church’s paralysis in doing anything. I’m not trying to sound condemning, but again I only speak from my experience. Up until four months ago, I was an active American church member, so take this from someone who has been in similar shoes. We are not doing enough. I am not doing enough. You individually are not doing enough.

Can I speak candidly with you about all these things?

Statistics are fun, aren’t they? Here are a couple stats that I heard in the last week. I may mess them up, but I don’t need them in the first place to tell you there’s a need. Stat 1 (from Discover the Journey): There have become 1 million new orphans in Iraq since the American invasion, an unheard of precedent in the Middle East. Stat 2: It would take one third of people professing to be Christians to adopt every orphan in the world that is eligible for adoption. Aren’t those fun? I know we love to just throw those around, it shows that we care. You hear stats like these, and we could truly go on forever with some daunting figures, and one of three things happen. One, you hear it and it doesn’t hit you so you just forget. Two, you hear it and it debilitates you to actually do anything. Three, the rarest happening, you hear a stat and do something small or big about it.

Have we been reading our Bibles? New or Old Testament, take your choice. Do you see the righteous anger the Lord has towards those who oppress or apathetically allow suffering of orphans, widows and the disenfranchised? As Lauren said last night, do we realize that the Bible isn’t about us? The Lord gave it to us, as an incredible and completely necessary tool for sanctification. With the right interpretation, under the direction of the Holy Spirit, we are unveiled to who God is and what He wants to do through us for His glory. We don’t get to pick and choose which scriptures we want to emphasize in our lives. We emphasize the whole book. We love to talk about God’s love, Jesus gives us rest, He’ll give His children good things. What about the parts about enacting true justice and restoration for others? No, sorry that’s out of my comfort zone. What about modeling after the crazy guys that were godly enough to look crazy and be unpopular. John the Baptist, Jeremiah, Jesus, take your pick. Hmm… a little too radical for me.

Here’s a few popular words in young American churches: activism, causes, social justice. These are good things. These are insufficient things. You know what will change the world and enact true justice for the oppressed? The gospel. The whole unadulterated thing with all the words and the actions that come with it.

We are all called to live the gospel which includes true justice. Think about how that appears in your church and sphere of life. Anybody else think of Invisible Children? A good organization and I pray the Lord’s blessing over them. You aren’t daily walking in justice, because you do Invisible Children’s big event once a year and own a couple of their shirts. Its not enough. Think about what they’re doing. Invisible Children is an activist group that enacts righteousness on behalf of children that are forced into war. What is their relationship with you? You bought one of their sweet shirts. Are they a clothing company? No. They sold you a shirt, because they knew you wouldn’t just give money, unless you went through the god of materialism and you could wear your activism on your sleeve. And yes the shirt can lead to awareness, but awareness only does good if it is followed by action and intervention. Their big events are good and do things for raising awareness and fund raising for their just cause. But its also strategic in drawing people. They came to you, because they know you won’t go to them. Come on Brandon, they work in Uganda. Getting there would be impossible and too costly and not safe and yada yada yada. Bull. You serve a God of infinite power, grace and provision. Case closed.

Maybe you’re not called to Africa or Asia or wherever these terrible atrocities are taking place (and many do happen under the nose of Americans, in their own country). Maybe you’re called to the states, that’s wonderful, obey the Lord in that and go to Chipotle on my behalf. You are also called to enact true justice for your neighbors, both local and global. And I would ask you to be thorough in your thoughts. Don’t say that they aren’t really your neighbor because they live in another part of the world and you don‘t see them. We live in a world that is more connected than anytime in history. Be consistent. If you don’t think your Christian witness applies to the globe, besides ripping the Great Commission out of your Bible, you can throw out all those Japanese electronics and your German car. With that said, what does loving others look like when others include women forced into prostitution? When others include 12 year old boys forced to kill people? When others include millions of orphans living on the streets? Does love look like buying a T-Shirt and joining a Facebook cause? Or does love look like spending hours in intercession and days in fasting? How about traveling to these places to hug them and speak truth to them about the God who loves, heals and restores? Does it look like selling things you like to support ministries that enact the Lord’s justice for them? Let’s love justly.

I want to end with something that should be and probably will be an entire writing in itself. We must realize the impossible is possible and walk in that stream of love and justice. Through diligence in our relationship with the Lord, we can have an increased anointing to move in power by the Holy Spirit. We can proclaim justice to that battered soul and as we tell them about the Lord that restores and heals, we allow ourselves to be His agent of such restoration and healing. We give Him control, love that person and enact justice for them by supernaturally healing them mind, body, and soul. If it’s a child soldier that has become paralyzed, that means we hug him, tell him God loves him, and in Jesus’ name tell him to pick up his mat and walk, then we get to rejoice as we see the Lord do His work in the boy’s mind, body and soul. If we believe the Bible and if we believe God is involved in this world and our lives, none of this is a jump.

There is a tremendous need and I don’t claim to have the answers or the best strategies. But God does, and if you have the Holy Spirit, He can guide you to what you are supposed to do with all this. It is weighty stuff. Its sad, its terrible, its ugly. Its not for the faint of heart or for the weak stomach. But this is what living the gospel looks like.

Do justice. Be righteous. Love. Pray. Intercede. Act, then act again, then act again. Do something big that looks impossible and upsets some people, but is exactly what God wants you to do. Live the gospel.

Note: This is in no way written to condemn people, much less my supporters. If you support me and the work to Tanzanian orphans through Hidden With Christ Ministries, that is a work of obedience to the Lord and justice to the disenfranchised. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was outside of what we do, but my question is, what’s next? Its the same with those that support good organizations like Invisible Children. In all of it, there is too much need to say that what any of us is doing is enough. There’s always more, radically, drastically more.

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The Rundown: Well, I shared a bit of my week early in the blog so there’s all that. I preached on Sunday and it went really well. I was blessed to speak and it was more fun to preach without translation. Remember my blog “Church”? Well, with preaching last week and leading worship solo tomorrow, the Lord is doing that, so its exciting to be a part of His body at ICC. Pray for me as I lead worship. The kids are well and it was a fairly normal and blessed week. In step with what my blog was on and seeking the Lord for an increased anointing to walk in His Holy Spirit in all facets, I’ll be fasting Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday this week. Please pray that the Lord would increase His anointing on me and give me vision in this time of prayer and fasting. That’s all I got. PEACE!

Persistence

This is a little cheap. Okay, just so you know before you continue with the blog, I want you to know that there is the slightest bit of me that is being lazy in what I’m about to talk about. The Lord has been teaching me something over the last little while and I’ve turned it into a sermon. I delivered that sermon at Pastor Unity’s church on Sunday. I then used the same material in a short devotional at TOA on Wednesday morning. I’ll be preaching on it at a my church tomorrow. A couple hours ago, I didn’t know what to write on so I went with this. I’ll be a little like Rob Bell. Not like having hip haircuts and sprinkling a little heresy and weird analogies in my teaching, but rather if you’ve heard me teach, then my writing is pretty much the same stuff, just like his Noomas and sermons are the same as his books. If this repetition in anyway makes you feel cheap, I’m sorry. Please feel free to not read any further. My feelings won’t be hurt. I imagine most people that “read” my blog don’t make it past the first paragraph anyway.

Disclaimer aside, there is this passage in Luke 11 that seems a little odd to me. Sometimes, I hear a story that Jesus tells and I’m just like “huh?” This is one such passage. One night, a guy comes to his friend and asks for some bread. The friend tells him to take a hike, because him and the fam are already in bed (I’m paraphrasing of course, that’s okay though, Eugene Peterson paraphrased the whole Bible and everyone loves that). The dude doesn’t leave, but keeps asking. Jesus explains that it is because of his persistence that the friend will get up and hook him up with the bread. And what do we learn? If you bug your friends enough, you’ll ware them out and get what you want. Right?

Jesus goes on to teach the famous “ask, seek, knock” passage, to which everyone that wants a new car says “amen!” Not quite. This passage always seems to befuddle me a little. I remember thinking about this passage and continually asking the Lord for a particular thing that was very important and very big. It never happened and barring a miracle that is way overdue, it won’t ever happen. I’m okay with that, but it makes the passage a little confusing.

Church

I have decided to resist them the temptation of doing a reprisal and revisiting last week’s topic of singleness. I got a grip more feedback on that blog as opposed to previous ones and even had a couple friends ready to set me up (do you realize you’d be sending your loved ones to live in Africa?) Second observation, other than one random comment from a guy friend, all of my responses were from women. It would be easy for me to think that the reason for this is because women are more interested in “relationships” or lack thereof as in the previous writing. And yet, I believe a more accurate extrapolation would be that the vast majority of those that read my blogs are women, period. Guys don’t really sit down and read blogs unless I sat down and talked about why the Lakers are better than the Cavs (if Stick doesn’t comment I know he didn’t read this). Most guy friends that have contacted me have told me that they haven’t read all the blogs or “need to catch up” which translates, “I haven’t read any since mid-January.” So, most of my readers are women, the people that email me mostly women, two of my three colleagues, the majority of the workers at TOA, there are six more girls at TOA as opposed to boys, and the majority of the missionaries are all WOMEN. The feminization of Brandon unfolding before your very eyes… and yet what is the one thing that I want? A WOMAN in my life. Funny how these things figure. But there are other relationships that are important and God-ordained (note transition)…

As I was at church on Sunday the Holy Spirit brought a question to my mind. How would my life at TOA and in Moshi be different, if I were going to the Garden? Now of course this connection is impossible to translate across the physical and cultural boundaries, but just imagine with me for a second. Okay, let’s say I’m not the Children’s Pastor like I used to be, because I work at TOA. But on Sundays, the services are the same, I meet with my life group on Thursdays and get coffee with friends from church regularly. But I lived in Moshi and worked at TOA. Would my life or my experience look different? COMPLETELY!

Much to my chagrin, I don’t go to the Garden anymore. I do go to a good church here called International Christian Center (ICC). But there would be no point in me pretending that its my preference. I like the people there and I enjoy going. This Sunday was…unique. The second service, which I attend, is designed to be evolving into an international service and is completely in English. The Senior Pastor, Pastor Shoo is a very gifted and intelligent man and a personal friend. But with this congregation, he is very hands off and so he doesn’t come most Sundays (he also is the head of New Life Foundation, travels frequently and has at least one other congregation that I know of). So the responsibility falls on other NLF workers, namely Ryan. Well, Ryan was off ministering in Manyara this Sunday. With him not there, the worship was done by the Fountain of Hope students who did a good job and I’m increasingly impressed with a couple of them and their growing leadership. Nonetheless, it was different. They go a little heavy on the keyboard and like most churches I’ve been to in Moshi use these awkward pre-programmed drum beats that come on the keyboard. It gets a little distracting, but the worship was relatively good, very Tanzanian (not the Masai drum thumping worship, I LOVE THAT, it was like normal Tanzanian church worship). Anyway, after worship we took up the offering and then Patrick (a NLF employee) asked me to come up and pray for the preacher. It was spontaneous but not abnormal for here. I came up and whispered asking him who was preaching today and he muttered something, but I didn’t understand. So I just prayed in the general “Lord anoint their words” prayer. I said amen and looked up to see Patrick talking to a visitor Mike, who is a friend of mine and a missionary here, he is actually in my small group. This was the first time I’d seen his family at ICC though. Patrick came back to me and asked “are you the one preaching?” and I chuckled and said “no.” Then I gave the mic to Patrick and he went on to explain that Ryan had appointed someone to preach, but he didn’t know who it was and asked the congregation who is supposed to be preaching. No one moved, no one spoke. So Patrick humbly asked Mike to come up and share whatever is on his heart. I have a new level of respect for Mike, because he got up and just delivered a sermon on self-control and didn’t bat an eye. I’m really glad that he was there, or I’m pretty sure that I would have had to give the impromptu sermon! Apparently, the NLF guy that was supposed to be preaching left after first service and left our visitor Mike (who didn’t know he was even coming to ICC until 15 minutes after the worship had started) up there to do his thing.

Church is different here. Witnessing that experience along with what the Lord put on my heart during worship, got me thinking. What is my role within the church supposed to be here? When I was here last summer, I preached four times. I did that because I was a visitor, a short termer, and that’s what short termers are supposed to do. I enjoyed it, but I’ve never felt called to be a pastor or a preacher. Now, I live here and I don’t know what my mode of operation is to be in regards to church life. I’m not going to go visit a bunch of churches and preach. I’m a missionary, but my service is to father and educate orphans, I didn’t come here to preach.

And yet, I’m going to preach. Its inevitable. I’m white, I’m a missionary, I’m whatever a preacher is supposed to be to Tanzanians. If I were in California still, no one would expect me to preach. I don’t think Darren or John Blue would scoot over in the pulpit for me even if I asked. I’ll teach kids. I’ll facilitate a life group. But my major wasn’t Biblical Studies, I don’t have an M. Div. nor did I go to any special Bible training. I’ll be a lay person. Here though, no one has gone to a university to become a pastor, they just love the Lord and preaching is something that comes out. Ryan mentioned how in many villages here, the pastor is whoever can read the Bible to everyone else. How’s that for qualifications? If you want to be a missionary here, forget about that degree in intercultural studies, the thesis paper, and choosing an organization, if you can read and you like rice and beans, come on down, we’ll find a congregation for you.

The Lord has put it on my heart to help and impart myself to ICC. During discipleship today (I write at night and post the next morning) I talked with Ryan about the direction of ICC and told him that I’m willing to fill whatever need they might have. I’m not going to do children’s ministry. I have 26 kids now and that is my life. Just over the last couple days, I’m feeling an increased calling to bless that second service at ICC. Its okay that the services are different, we are truly a multi-cultural congregation and there is freedom for people to worship in one service or the other or both. I’ve never felt called to be a preacher, but by the Holy Spirit’s help, I’ll preach at ICC regularly. I’ve never envisioned myself leading worship (not just drumming, but playing guitar and leading) in a church service, but I’ve just made myself the second service alternate if Ryan can’t show up (any other day, I will be drumming.) These aren’t things that I envisioned myself or felt called to. They are things that the Holy Spirit can do through me though. I am called to my church. I am called to the church. If you believe in Jesus and have entered into that blessed relationship, you are called to His body, His church with Him as the Head. I sat on my butt, for over a year at Rock Harbor before serving in children’s ministry. When I got up and did something, it was amazing! The Lord used that experience to prepare me for increased roles at Pacific Pointe and The Garden. When I joined the Modern Lovers (miss you guys) I wasn’t expecting nor feeling called to lead the group. There was a need and I wanted to bless my church. A lot of the time, that’s what it takes. You are called to serve and bless your church, it may be weird or awkward or you may not want to, but you are called nonetheless. In that though, know that the Holy Spirit will prepare you and use you in the work. For this we give praise.

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The Rundown: Its been a pretty eventful week. Many of the kids have recovered from being sick, including Awadhi. His fever came down and we noted that it was the first time that his fever was that high without him going into convulsions, so praise God for that. Still Lydia, Jodie and Ema all have malaria so pray for them. The last week with programs have been good, I don’t know if I’ll ever not be figuring stuff out in those regards, but I at least feel like I’m making somewhat of a difference in the education area. On Saturday, we had some visitors at the TOA. They are from an organization called Adventures in Missions and are doing something called the World Race and are going to like eleven different countries or something. Their team leader used to teach at the same school as Lydia and his squad just happens to be spending most of March in Moshi. They were over at Lydia and Jodie’s for dinner last night and I joined them. It was really cool to just sit down with American Christians that are close to my age. It really was the first time that’s happened since I was in Long Beach three months ago. I don’t know all their ages, but its still weird to me that I’m a little younger than a couple of them and thinking how I’m the long-term missionary. I’m seriously an anomaly. It’s been cool to be on the other end of the exchange though. Obviously, I’m not as experienced as Lyd and Jodie, but I’m still a long term missionary and instead of coming to visit “their” children, the team is coming to visit “my” children. I like that. They’re coming back to TOA on Saturday and I invited them to Thursday night worship. Saturday morning I met with a guy that is helping me get connected with Tanzanian Sign Language for Awadhi. Jodie and I might be beginning lessons this coming Saturday, so pray that works out. Yeah, that’s pretty much it.