Submission is something that is in many ways a hot button topic in the Church. It plays a role in various topics from gender and church leadership to marriage and government authorities. The Bible is certainly not silent about the topic and it wouldn’t take a long look through the holy book to come across its reference in some fashion.
I personally have gone across the board in relation to whose supposed to be submitting to who and how that plays out in relationships and positions. One thing that I believe I have safely landed on is that submission is a good thing and is evidence of the filling of the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 5:18; 21). That can be really hard though. If everyone’s submitting to someone, I’d like to be that someone. I think in many ways that’s the natural inclination of people; albeit the inclination of the flesh. Nonetheless, the Bible is not a random book and verses like the one I just mentioned are meant to be lived, not simply read.
What is submission exactly? I used to always get this picture of a drill sergeant yelling at someone and the Bible is telling us to just suck it up and submit to them; just suffer through it. That picture isn’t particularly helpful and doesn’t encapsulate a biblical notion of submission. Unfortunately the biblical picture of submission for me was always skewed growing up. If submission was spoken of within a church setting, it was always in relation to wives submitting to their husbands as Paul taught in Colossians 3:18 and Ephesians 5:22. That’s good and biblical, but submitting to spiritual elders and certainly mutual submission were typically left out of the larger conversation, though they too have a place in the scripture. Thus I didn’t have the whole conversation in my head, but only a portion of it in relation to marriage (which I’ve never been engaged in before) was spoken of. I think that the Church suffers from the missing pieces of the conversation and we need to better understand how to submit to church leaders and put the desires of others ahead of our own.
My study Bible tells me “the Greek word for submitting does not refer to being under the absolute control of another but to voluntarily placing oneself under the authority of another.” I like that word “voluntarily,” it leads to the realization that this is not a dictatorship and there is choice involved. It evokes an important element that I am not required to force people into submission, but rather we are all responsible to submit to one another and put the next guy’s desires above our own. It truly leads to a radical trust that this person really does love me and really does want the best for me. I will allow them to govern me, because the Bible tells me I should and because I truly trust them. That’s a revolutionary concept in the shadow of American culture, or pretty much the culture of the world.
When I really think about it, as a grown man, I’ve had limited engagement in a position of submission. Sure, growing up I was in submission to my folks. That’s biblical and while I had my misgivings, I wasn’t a terribly rebellious child or teen. Then I started to grow up especially when I went off to college. My submission to teachers goes without saying, but I made my own decisions regarding my life and no one really was in a position that warranted a radical submission of my own decisions. The church that I went to was huge, so submitting to pastors wasn’t really an issue. When I began working at churches, it started to pick up I suppose Although, submission was fairly easy. It basically looked like if I got an idea, I submitted it to the pastor and if he turned it down, then I didn’t gripe about it and didn’t let my feelings get hurt.
Well, like I said, this year (or the last ten months rather) has taught me more about it, but here’s one more scripture to keep in mind as I tell my little story. 1 Peter 5:9 - “Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”
I am a young person. I say that somewhat begrudgingly because I’d like to walk under this guise that I’m older than I really am or that I’m at least more mature for the age of 24. That’s not really helpful for someone that is called to walk in humility. Humility is another thing that I’ve been learning about around here as I realize that its all God’s grace that allows me to live life and do His work. I thank God that He put spiritual elders around me that help me. I don’t say that because I always agree with them, but rather because I trust them.
As you all know, this has been a dramatically life altering year for me. Brandon’s 2010 is definitely one for the books. I moved to a foreign country in January and went 0-60 in getting engaged in the summer. Aside from all the other events that have taken place, those two things alone are reason for significant prayer and divine direction. Because I trust the Lord and am confident in all that He’s done, I am not afraid of what’s coming for me. And as Melissa and I continue to walk this path together, we are finding that its taking turns that we didn’t originally plan or anticipate.
As I’ve written, we were originally planning to get married in January. Under godly wisdom and prayer, we decided to push that date back to June so that we can set up a better foundation through spending time together, partly in CA, but mostly in Moshi. For those that aren’t caught up, the plan was that I’ll come on my normal month long furlough in January and then in February her and I would come back to Moshi together and do premarital counseling and just date as we continue to establish ourselves as a couple. We would then return to CA in May, get married first weekend of June and then head back to Moshi later that month. Operative word there is “was,” as in that “was” the plan.
This is where the whole submission part comes into play. As I was talking with my director, spiritual elder and spiritual mother Rita, she gave us advice. Her and I were skyping and when she said it, I immediately told her that I wasn’t a fan of that advice. She remained firm and offered it from a pastoral standpoint as opposed to an employer standpoint. We ended the conversation and I hoped that after she had time to think and pray about it that she would change her mind. That never happened and I, along with Melissa, had a decision to make. This is the decision that I wrote about in ambiguous terminology in previous posts.
Her advice was as opposed to splitting time the time or coming up with another scenario like delaying my return to make my stay in the states contiguous and a few months long, she suggested that I go on my furlough in January as scheduled, but remain in the states until after our wedding in June. Her reasoning was based on preparing ourselves best for the marriage. That would include spending time not only being together in the same country (which would have been the case regardless, just depending on which country), but also spending time getting to know each others families.
The thing that has hit me like a ton of bricks is “I can’t be away from the kids for that long.” When I wrote in the blog “Trust” that “it is something that seems contrary to my being” I was serious. My life is intricately wrapped around the lives of the Treasures. The Lord called me here for a reason and this is unequivocally the hardest thing to swallow. Its not even being away from the work, although I’m not fond of that either, but rather just not being near the children. It doesn’t feel like that’s what a father is supposed to do. I guess you can chalk that up to another way that fatherhood in this setting is totally different then the mindset that I grew up with.
So over the last month, I’ve been praying and spent three weeks fasting all in trying to figure out the Lord’s hand in all this. It first came down to making the decision with Melissa about what we would do. Rita didn’t force this on us. She left the ball in our court and we had a choice to make. She never once even used the word “submission,” not in regards to her as a spiritual leader, which she is, and certainly not as my employer, which she is. Nor is this me being a push-over and allowing someone else to make decisions about my personal life. The nature of my position as a missionary obliterates the idea that my personal life and professional life are separated in any way. I gave up my life to serve under Rita at TOA as the Lord has called me to. It has been the Lord speaking to me that this is what submission looks like and I completely trust my godly head. We made the decision based not on the circumstances, but rather on the relationships. I was not convinced that the best way for Melissa and I to prepare for the wedding would be for me to spend so much of 2011 in the states. In fact, if I made the decision based on the circumstances, I would have gone forward with the original plan. Instead, we have chosen to honor, trust and voluntarily submit to Rita.
Its been a hard decision and the fast and time in prayer has helped me begin to process, but I can’t bear to dwell on what it will actually look like to leave the kids the first week of January and not see them for almost 6 months. That remains the hardest thing and in some ways the unfathomable thing. Your prayers are highly appreciated.
However, I know that the Lord has reasons in all of this and Lydia gave me a prophetic word that there are things being sent in motion that I can’t even see, because of the decisions that we are making. She didn’t mean that in a negative way and I’m excited to see what the Lord has in store. I do value some of the implications of this venture. In regards to our marriage preparation, I look forward to us having extra time to get to know each other’s families. Its true that we’ll have less than average contact with our families, it’s the nature of being a missionary. Although, that doesn’t make family relationships unimportant. I look forward to meeting and spending time with Melissa’s parents, sisters and friends and I look forward to her doing the same with my family and friends. I also look forward to being re-sent out as a couple and cutting out the middle man of having Melissa work with another organization in early 2011.
Furthermore and more poignant for my readers, supporters and friends, it gives me more time to meet with you all and fund raise as well. And fund raise I will! Part of the organization agreement that I’ve made with Rita and the HWCM board is that I will be dedicating myself to helping out in the office and diligently going out and fund raising for TOA. I’m actually really excited to get out there and share what the Lord is doing here and offer people ways to get involved and fulfill the Lord’s calling to love and care for orphans. In exchange for my compliance with these things (which is easy, because I’d love to do them), HWCM will continue to give me my monthly stipend. My current contract only allows for one month paid vacation, so I’ll be working hard for my money!
So here’s where you come into play. Briefly my schedule is that I’ll be in California the second half of January through the end of February. I will then take a month for Melissa and I to go visit with my folks in Wisconsin and then I’ll return and spend April and May in CA. We will be bouncing between Costa Mesa and Paso Robles, with Long Beach, Ventura and Los Osos in between. I will be looking for opportunities to not only fund raise, but just testify of what God’s doing. I am down to speak at churches, small groups, youth groups, college groups, organization meetings and whatever you got! Please pass this along to your friends, pastors and colleagues. I see this as divine timing, because as we prepare for our new orphanage, we are going to need more and more supporters from the states.
So there you go. Check my website for the page tab at the top that leads to the information for my “2011 Furlough.” There you’ll find the basic information on how to get a hold of me as well as my detailed schedule that will be regularly updated as more appointments are made.
The Lord is good and has put us in relationship with others. As the Spirit leads and guides us, we find ourselves living in submission to others. Don’t be afraid to submit to a godly person. Resist the temptation of thinking you have it all figured out, because that’s pride and God will resist you. He has a divine purpose for all things that His called ones walk in, for this we give praise.
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The Rundown: That was another marathon blog. I’ll keep this short. The week was good. The big news is that less than 48 hours after ending my fast, I tested positive for worms again. This time it was more painful for sure, although I’m feeling better now after taking the medicine. I pulled double duty at church on Sunday and led worship and preached. It went well. I got back to playing ball on Sunday night which was good, but my stomach could only handle so much. Other than that, its been nice having Melissa off from student teaching, because we’ve gotten to skype every day this week. Yeah, the kids are doing well and I’ll do a Treasure profile next time, in the meantime stay up with us on Facebook. I just added some new pictures to that this week. Alright, be blessed!
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