Brokenness

Sometimes we just get slapped in the face with a harsh reality, such has been the case over the last week or so. 

With our wedding less than a month away, Melissa and I have begun looking for birth control solutions. Since Melissa doesn’t have insurance and our finances aren’t much to write home about, we’ve had to look for the cheapest solution possible. That led us to going to Planned Parenthood.* That must be the busiest office that I’ve ever been in. We first tried to get in at the place in Costa Mesa last week and waited for two hours before they told us they couldn’t get to us. We ended up going into the San Luis Obispo one and setting up an appointment one day and came in the next to wait another two hours before the doctor got to Melissa. The point is that place was bustling, at both places that we visited.

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

The number one demographic in the busy office? Young, unwed women. I saw two guys come in for condoms and a couple others come in to get tested for STDs (I could hear them at the reception desk). But most of them were women, or girls in some instances. Of the over 25 ladies that I saw between the two offices, Melissa was one of three or four that had a ring on her finger. Some girls acted nonchalant, I saw a few tearing up, but overall it all seemed like commonplace for the people there. The saddest sight, was a timid girl that was waiting a good while, Melissa and I were heart broken to see this girl that couldn’t have been over 14 years old; she was still developing physically even. 


In our futile efforts to enjoy life apart from God, we’ve cultivated a deep brokenness through personal and corporate sins. How else can you explain such a young girl seeking services at Planned Parenthood? The sad thing is that this sort of behavior is often celebrated. I saw something on TV where Lil’ Wayne was boasting that he lost his virginity at the age of 11. The layers of society that propagate this activity is incredibly diverse. Hollywood promotes it and acts like its both normative and completely satisfying, our lawmakers pass laws that reflect a growing constituency that sexual immorality is good and so forth. Meanwhile, the average age of people having sex for the first time keeps going down while STDs, abortions and broken lives goes up.


And how are we to react as Christians? This certainly  plays out in other areas of society, but lets stick with sexuality for the time being. When we first went into the office in San Luis, we were greeted by some picketers from a local church. They were kind and cordial, but we obviously knew why they were there. As we got out of the car, one of the ladies in a big sun hat approached us with some brochures. We smiled and said thank you, she then asked if we had any prayer requests and we told her about our wedding coming up and the work in Tanzania. Since this is a sister of mine, I didn’t want her to think lowly of us, so I pulled out all the stops to show her any strand of righteousness in us. I told her how we’re getting married so we had to start birth control (implying our virginity), we oppose abortion, we work on the mission field with orphans for crying out loud. She then told us that we should go to the Community Health Center instead of Planned Parenthood. Alas, we told her that since Planned Parenthood is free and CHC isn’t, we would still be going there and we soon walked up the stairs into the place. While these ladies were kind enough, we still felt quite uneasy with the encounter. Maybe it was the grotesque images of aborted babies on their vehicle or maybe it was just the subtle finger wagging we received. It didn’t matter that we were approaching our marriage biblically, their mind was made up and we received the brunt of their views on Planned Parenthood.


How then are we to behave then, as followers of Christ? Humility is always a good place to start. We must realize that we aren’t immune to the sin and brokenness, nor is our family. 


Over the last week, Melissa and I have been engaging with a relative of hers that has caused a lot of pain to Melissa. In an attempt to show grace to this person, Melissa got burned again and it has brought up past pain as well and could potentially be detrimental to our wedding. “He’s very broken” and “he needs Jesus” are constantly on Melissa’s lips and its entirely true. This brokenness of his was passed on to him from another relative before him. Sin is a disease and it always leads to brokenness and pain. If we do not allow God to heal us and change us, we will inevitably pass it on to another. 


God created us for community and no matter what we think or want, our actions have a profound effect on others. The reason Jesus stressed discipleship is because He knew that human relationship is the most influential force in the changing of a human soul. The reverse is just as true. If we don’t abide in Christ and His righteousness, we will pass on sin and brokenness to those we are in relationship with, as opposed to the love that we find in God. That has been the case with this relative and because he hasn’t allowed God to deal with his brokenness, he has been passing it on in his interactions with Melissa and others.


It is a sad thing, but its not un-redeemable. The whole reason that Jesus came was because God recognized the brokenness of humankind and sent Him to save us, inviting us into His Kingdom of love and reconciliation. There isn’t a person on this earth that is out of His reach if they would repent and allow the Holy Spirit to do His work. And it doesn’t end there, He’s so powerful that He can topple principalities that are ingrained within societal strongholds. He is able and willing; and He’s beckoning us to join Him in this work. And that’s where we are to hang our hats. While sin begets brokenness and we pass the disease on from one person to the other, at any moment that we invite God to redeem and heal, He does just that. We are to be like Him, ministers of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:17-21). I wouldn’t say that picketing, pronouncing damnation during a time of grace or judging unbelievers according to a Book they don’t believe in will help. At the same time, the more common Christian ailment of apathy is equally detrimental. Instead we are to show compassion, integrity, righteousness, love and whole-hearted devotion to God which will automatically lead to radical engagement. The beauty is in His design of this. That we being filled with the Holy Spirit, are able to bring this work of reconciliation over brokenness to pass, for this we give praise.


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*I realize that Planned Parenthood is a very controversial establishment and I personally disagree with a lot of their stances on sexuality and procreation, not the least of which is abortion. However, we decided that this is the best path for us with our financial situation. The organization does offer some good services, why not utilize them for two people that have chosen to wait for their marriage to become sexually active? Why should we pay more for choosing to do it the right way? Not to mention, I’m a tax payer and a third of the organization’s funding comes from government grants and contracts. Whether or not I think they should get government funding is another thing, but the fact is right now they do receive a significant portion of money from the feds which qualifies us to use the positive non-sinful practices of the establishment.

Observations in Transit

An airport is one of the most interesting places to me. For those of us that enjoy people watching its hard to beat the incredible array of people across ethnic, cultural and religious lines. I like to people watch and try to guess where people are from by their appearance or what their language/accent sounds like. Religion is too easy or too difficult, so nationality has to suffice. Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, Sikhs, Jews are easy to spot, but the Christians essentially look like they could be Atheist, Agnostic or any of those western philosophies if you only get one glance.

You can learn a lot and prayer as you go is so important. Prayer is important because the people around us need the Lord. Our thoughts can only scratch the surface of the depths of the people’s lives; the same goes for the depth of their pain, sin and brokenness. Could you just imagine taking the time to go into a busy airport lobby in Heathrow or LAX and just get the stories of the people there? It would blow our minds and they’re just people like you and me. Yet their lives are so unique and so precious, yet so under attack from Satan and their own flesh; present company included.

You do get a picture of our depravity across the board and sin is infused in different cultures in myriad ways. I have seen a man of a particular religious tradition with an entourage of what clearly are his four wives. You see how rude, mean and discourteous people are across ethnic and religious fronts. Little things become big things and any small thing can be taken as an attack on self.

Its not only “those people,” unfortunately I see it in my own culture as much, if not more, than any other. Most in America don’t realize the depth of our materialistic idolatry. That drum has been beat undoubtedly, but no matter how many times we in the church call out the materialism, little changes (do you know that this holiday season in the “tough economy,” Americans exceeded previous holiday seasons in regards to purchasing? Will we ever learn?)  So I think the drum can afford to be beat again. Why do we need Duty Free shops? We can make fun of their weird or unnecessary products all we want, but the fact is Duty Free shops exist because people buy from them. How pathetic is that? We are so addicted to entertainment and materialism that we can’t just enjoy traveling thousands of miles in hours, but we in fact must spend that time indulging ourselves in sin.

I was reminded of this again in the plane as I watched a couple movies. I try to beat jet lag by timing when I go to sleep and if I need to be awake, watching movies is a way to pass the time relatively quickly. The first movie that I watched would seem innocuous enough, but it in fact glorified the act of adultery and sex before marriage; two things that as a follower of Christ I am against. Yet I watched most of it. The other one was about some bank robbers and glorified violence, greed and lust; all of which are spoken against in the Bible. Yet I watched most of it. Its bad and inexcusable. Trying to watch something more light, I found myself watching one of my old favorites as a kid, Aladdin. Oh boy, am I about to go there and rob us all of our fond childhood memories? Yep. The movie makes light of poverty, even romanticizes it. Furthermore, some of the elements of the “magic” in that movie come from what most would call ancient Middle Eastern fables. But to look at it from a biblical worldview, we realize that these “fables” have their root in the occult. Of course, I’m a twenty-four year old follower of Christ who can’t help but analyze these things and a six year old wouldn’t pick all that up, but it doesn’t make those things any less true. And I certainly hope that it wouldn’t surprise anyone to hear that Disney, despite the bells and whistles, is not a godly organization, not at all.

I see two things in every person in the airport and on the plane. One, a precious person created in the image of God that I’m called to love. A person that the Father loves more than I can realize. Two, I see sin and bondage. And it is being enacted by and enacted against the beloved of God. I see the way that this sin infiltrates every crack in society from novelty stores to children’s movies to the way people dress to the way people live. An airport is a very easy place to see why the earth needs the Kingdom of God, the Kingdom of Heaven, to come.

Process

After a crazy time getting back to Moshi, I’m back in Moshi. I find myself writing from within my own living room but in some ways I still feel like I’m back in Asia. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m listening to Jesus Culture or that I have another stomach ache complete with vomit tasting hiccup burps (just thought I‘d share), but I truly feel like there’s a part of me that came alive there and I’m trying to figure out how that looks like in my blessed normal context of Moshi. It is a bit to process.

My trip was amazing. God did new things in my life and I feel like I grew a lot. Its kind of an odd feeling. While I can articulate some of the stuff that He did (at least enough for eight previous blogs in addition to this one), I feel like the heart of what He did and my feelings towards the trip are beyond diction. That seems to be a recurring theme in my life, not having the words. Quite the quandary for someone who fancies himself a writer. What God does is beyond words and such was the case on this trip. Nonetheless, here’s my feeble attempt…

Life is all about the first and second greatest commandment. That we love God and love others (Matthew 22: 37-40). I love God more after this trip and I thank Him that He is here with me in Tanzania as well. I thank God that He is omnipresent and that while we left Asia, He stayed there and came with us. And yet, no one else came back with me. I do miss walking around Darjeeling or seeing the beauty as our tour bus winded through the Himalayas. But more than anything I miss the people. The ministry takes place before the Lord and is for the benefit of the people.

Himalayas Post #3 - The Gospel

Written on September 6th, 2010

Romans 1:16: “For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and also for the Greek.”

We had moved on to the second hotel in another city that we were staying at and had the night free so we spent time together as a team. This was our third night in this nation, but only our first time meeting since we arrived. We were sharing about the times that we’ve had in intercession for and interaction with the people thus far. I shared what the Lord had been doing in my life over the last couple days and was encouraged by what the others were sharing. In particular, Noah and Katie shared about a young woman that worked at the previous hotel who they found out was a believer, secretly for the most part. They shared about their conversation with her and how she came to their room and they were able to pray over her. A conversation ensued in which I said something that just came out of my mouth without me thinking about it, but just resounded as truth in my soul: “When the Gospel is pure, it is unstoppable.”

Its quite an incredible thought to realize the impact that the Gospel has had on this world over the last 2000 years. It truly is the good news that has allowed millions upon millions of people to live a life that is satisfying, purposeful and full of love. The message is simple enough. Because of our shortcomings and sins, God, who is love, made and executed a divine plan for us to be reconciled to Him. He sent His beloved Son to come to Earth and pay the price for all of our sins through His crucifixion. Because He was without flaw and both God and Man, His sacrifice was sufficient for all of our sin. By the power of God, He overcame death and sin with one victorious resurrection and showed us the way to be fully human. An age old story, and ever refreshing as it is truly the best story ever written.

Himalayas Post #2 - Truth

Written on September 3rd, 2010

So many people in this world are seeking after truth. Surely, there are many, like so many in the west, that have given up on the search, saying that such findings are unattainable. So many of them have gotten discouraged, because as soon as they believe they’ve found truth, someone else contradicts and says that it is wrong. At best, many people have resorted to living by “what’s true for you.” However, in light of very simple logic and the very nature of all that is, that can’t be true. If what you say opposes what I say, one of us must be wrong. Indeed, we could both be wrong, but we can’t both be right. I am aware that such logic falls on deaf ears in a post-modern world, but it is valid nonetheless. Many a philosopher and theologian, much wiser and more articulate than me, have wrestled with the big questions of how did we get here and what do we do now. Here’s a portion of my attempt…

You’ll have to forgive me, I have no intent of being politically correct or soft on what I’ve found to be true in this post. You can try to see my perspective and realize that if I didn’t believe it was true in its entirety, what would be the point of believing it in the first place? My position towards anybody referred to in this post is love. Sometimes love includes sharing of truth. My unbelieving friends, whom I love, may prefer another post on something like social justice, like I’ve done in the past. That is an important part of living out the Gospel and being a part of God’s Kingdom. But its not enough, we must also share eternal truths that we’ve found. I can become a father to an orphan, but if I never tell my son the truth of the Gospel, I’ve only blessed him a little in this life time and profit him nothing for eternity.

So let’s get at the truth… While so many others have given up on truth, I truly admire the search of the people in the nations that we’ve been in for the last couple weeks. To be sure, we’ve met with and been able to encourage my brothers and sisters in the church that Christ is building up here. However, these two countries are largely ruled by Hinduism and Buddhism.

Himalayas Post #1 - Intentional

Written on September 2nd, 2010

We’ve safely arrived in the second country after spending about 14 hours driving here. The trip was exhaustingly long, but I was able to get a little sleep, listen to music, and finish a book then start a book. Nonetheless, by the time we rolled up to our hotel at 7:45 PM, we were ready for the day to be over. We walked into the lobby and were all taken back by how incredibly nice the hotel looked. We were all the more blown away when we got to our rooms. The girls had a laugh as I was the first to my room and was exclaiming out loud at how “legit” this place was and it was truly “off the chain” as I said. This place has free wireless internet, each room has a big Hi-Def TV, all the nice amenities that you would expect with furniture and the like. The tissue box is wrapped up like a Christmas gift for crying out loud. I can’t remember the last time I was in a nice hotel. After waking up at 3:30 in the morning and traveling all day, I was ready for a shower.

I was in the shower that had perfect temperature and water pressure and I was washing my hair with actual shampoo and conditioner for the first time in a week and a half and just enjoying the moment. I decided to release a worship song over the room and began singing. As I was in the shower I felt the Holy Spirit saying “don’t forget why you’re here.” The following thought that came to my mind was “I should sleep on the ground tonight.” I realized that the accommodations were not going to help, but rather detract, from my intercession. It was a quick thought in my mind when I first walked into the room that this could serve as a nice vacation from my work at TOA. “I’m a missionary in Africa, I can do it up here. I’ve earned it.” Such thoughts must go by the wayside when wanting to serve the Lord. Entitlement has been something that has strangled so much Christ-like life out of the American church. This life is so beautiful; the walk, the death, the resurrection, the ascension. We can follow Christ in all these things, but we get the life mixed up when we equate blessing with worldly prosperity. We must realize that the Lord’s ways are not that of the world’s, so true joy comes not from monetary affluence or comfort but rather from loving and obeying Jesus. There is nothing wrong with a comfortable bed, I in fact own one back in Moshi. But rather, if my highest calling is to love God and Jesus says the way you love Him is to obey Him (John 14:23) I must relinquish anything that would distract me from doing just that. So I gave up a comfortable bed so that I can focus on obeying Him in praying and interceding on behalf of this nation.

Sounds strange right? Have you read the actions of people in the Bible and realized the Bible heroes are indeed full of weirdos? I know that this is something I’ve mentioned before, but its worth mentioning again. Not merely as a defense of my seemingly useless action in sleeping on the floor, but rather so that we all remember that God does things that look quite strange to the natural eye. That’s why we aren’t to focus on the things that are seen, but rather those that are unseen (1 Corinthians 4:18).

India Post #5 - Power

We serve a powerful God and He makes His ways known throughout His creation. Praise the Lord.

I find that I’m in a place of seeing God’s power and being satisfied and at the same time wanting more. The last few days of ministry have gone well and I truly do see Him working. He moves in supernatural ways and His desire is for us. His desire is to bless us by giving us more of Him, our only true need.

Prophecy is such a powerful tool that He has given us and something that is becoming a bigger and bigger work in my ministry. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 14: 1; 3 “Pursue love, and desire spiritual gifts, but especially that you may prophesy… He who prophesies speaks edification and exhortation and comfort to men.” I’ve seen the power of this many times before and the ministry recently has given more examples that exactly fulfill this scripture. I know for all my non-charismatic brothers and sisters this may seem a little out there, but I testify to you that it is powerful and this scripture backs me up. The prophecy given does not carry the weight of scripture and like prayer, disciplines and everything else in the Christian walk, it is something that we can practice. A person that loves the Lord and desires to do His will in encouraging others will say something that is truly of the Lord, at the same time it is possible to slip slightly and say something that isn’t exactly what God would say. That doesn’t make the believer a false prophet. A false prophet seeks to devour, deceive and destroy. He stands against the Lord and uses counterfeit, even demonic, power to persuade people away from the true God. Whereas, the believer prophesying will allow the Holy Spirit to confirm the words within the heart and mind of the person that is receiving the word. As Ryan put it they can “chew up the meat and spit out the bone.”

India Post #3 - Honor

Written on August 24th, 2010

The last two days of ministry have been wonderful. The Lord has done so much and we see His hand on us and His presence going with us. We have been able to meet some amazing people, heroes of the faith that may never get their story told beyond what you read in this blog. Nonetheless, the Lord knows their name and is well pleased with them.

Yesterday, I had the distinct honor to minister with my team to local pastors and church leaders throughout the region. The pastors would come through one by one or two by two and would go through essentially four stations of ministry. First they would have communion administered by Pastor Claude. Then they would enter the main room and have their feet washed. Following that would be a time of laying on of hands and soaking in impartation. The final spot was for the delivery of prophetic words and Bible verses. It was a wonderful time and the presence of the Holy Spirit was thick.

I will talk about this time and the burden that I felt for the people at a different time, but I want to tell you about Pastor Claude and the honor I had to minister to him. He is an incredible man. There is a circuit of village churches throughout the area and it has been through him that over 100 churches have been planted. Over 100! That’s incredible. In a land where so much darkness has been allowed by the futility of the people’s minds, the true Heavenly reign is advancing and the Lord has given an apostolic anointing to this man to be used in incredible ways.

India Post #1 - Around You

Do we realize the realities that are going on around us at every moment?


I got on the flight from Nairobi to Dubai and was going about my business as normal. Joking with the Tanzanian girls in Swahili, trying to look as American as possible, looking forward to the in-flight movie and the good food. I sit down in my chair and browse what movies are going to be showing while we are in the air. “Iron Man 2, haven’t seen it, heard good stuff, yeah I’ll watch it.” My screen wasn’t working and I decide that if it doesn’t work then I’ll grit my teeth, smile and choose to read, pray, intercede and prepare a sermon. I tell the attendant my screen isn’t working and leave it in the hands of God. Does He want me to watch this cool movie or feed myself spiritually and engage the lives of the people around me? If it comes down to what He wants it could just be a coin flip, right? She resets my screen and after missing the first ten minutes, I get to watch the rest of the movie. Good movie.


It finishes and I decide to finish my chapter in the book that I mentioned in the previous post. I can’t even finish the chapter without the Holy Spirit calling me to intercession.

Kingdom

There are a lot of people in this world. Furthermore there are a lot of people that don’t know Christ, a lot of Christians sitting on their hands, a lot of people who are open to listen, a lot who aren’t and each person is on some sort of journey that we hope ends with them in the eternal Kingdom of Heaven.

I moved here because I wanted to advance the Kingdom and I wanted to obey the Lord’s voice that Tanzania is where I’m supposed to be. He has been gracious to bestow upon me the position of teacher, elder, leader and above all father. I didn’t come here on a whim and I’m certainly not leaving on one, much less anytime soon. Tanzania is where the Lord has planted me for a while to advance His Kingdom. First and foremost, with the Treasures, but His Kingdom isn’t confined to TOA. It may advance at ICC, any other church I speak at or attend, it could advance through our worship nights, through my conversations with my friends, or with George, the old guy that hangs out by the bread shop that I’ve gotten to pray with before. Nor is my work in His Kingdom confined to Tanzania.

I’ve been so blessed by some wonderful encouragements from people back in the states that have said that the blogs and other things I’m putting out are encouraging them in their own faith. For all my complaining about close friends that don’t read my blogs (my apologies), I’m truly humbled by those of you that have told me how the Lord has used the writings in your life. It is a blessing to me to know that He is still using me in any small way back in my home country, because Americans are still close to my heart and my desire is to see Americans, especially those of my generation, completely sell out for the Lord and His business. And yet, that’s not really the country I’m getting at in this particular post…