Greeting

Karibuni! The Lord is good! My name is Brandon and the Lord has done mighty things in my life. I am a missionary in Moshi, Tanzania and God is doing good things for us here at Treasures of Africa Children's Home. This website was created to share that story with friends, family and supporters in the states. I also from time to time will share some thoughts on other stuff as well. Each of the entries are a story of what the Lord is up to and to Him be all glory. Please feel free to send comments and questions to me at bmstiver@gmail.com. Thanks for visiting the site and I hope the Lord blesses you as you poke around.

Peace and Grace,
Brandon Stiver

Monday, August 16, 2010

A Story

How do you start a good story? How do you live a good story? Over the last few weeks, I have found myself in the midst of one of the best stories I’ve ever heard. Its one of the greatest stories I’ve ever heard, because I know who the Author is and I know that He does all things well. The real life story has all the suspense and great scenes that you would want in your favorite fiction book, but this is real. The Writer has chosen to use real people in real places in an effort to not only bless and write a good story, but so that people will observe and read the story and point to Him as the Giver of all good things. This is one of the many amazing stories that He’s planned since the dawn of time. It is impossible to fully capture the depth of the story in a finite world when its already been written by the eternal God. At any point in the story, any small thing, a newspaper thrown away, a rejected internship, a stolen identity could have upset the story, but it was in fact written masterfully. So how am I suppose to start this? Do I start it when I first came on the scene on April 8th, 1986? Do I start it at the age of four when I gave my heart to the Lord and His plan of redemption, blessing and purpose began in my life? Do I start it when I first got called to Tanzania? Or when I left California totally single and not knowing what God was going to do? My feeble words couldn’t match the masterful penmanship of the Lord and yet here’s my attempt to tell one of the best stories I’ve ever heard… or been a part of.

I was at the Hidden With Christ office in Tustin. As I was walking through our small office space and looking at the hangings in the hallway, I was pleased to see newspaper clippings of past and current Hidden With Christ missionaries. Lydia, Jodie and the first director Melissa Hermann were in an LA paper, Rita’s son Andy was in an OC paper and I thought that it was a cool way to witness and potentially fundraise. As I commented on them, Rita told me that it would be a good idea to contact local papers back on the central coast where I grew up and see if they would be interested in running my story about moving to Tanzania. I took on that idea and subsequently contacted a couple newspapers up in San Luis Obispo county. I was in a story that ran in the Paso Robles Press, Atascadero News, and Paso Robles Gazette. Also I was in a totally separate article in The Tribune which goes throughout the county. I was pleasantly surprised when it led to some support that came in as well as a donated laptop, on which I’m writing this story. While those things are good, the Lord had so much more planned.



Unknown by me, my story was read by a woman named Megan Paulson who lives in Los Osos, not too far from where I grew up. My story caught her attention and while she may have thought to just throw it out with most past papers, my story held her eye and reminded her in aspects to experiences of her daughter, Melissa. In that story, it talked about my relationship with Awadhi and mentioned how he is deaf. That struck Megan thinking about a trip that Melissa had gone on to Kenya a year and a half prior and developed a special relationship with a deaf boy named Frank. According to Megan, she only mentioned it a few times in conversation to Melissa. But according to Melissa it was like every conversation they had. At any rate, Melissa read the article and eventually contacted the guy from the newspaper article on Facebook.

I was sitting at Portfolio Coffee in Long Beach when I remember being contacted by Melissa (read her full account here) on November 2nd. She was very encouraging in the message she sent me and we began a back and forth sharing stories about what God has done through our lives in mission work. It really didn’t strike me as odd, because when I came back and everyone knew that I would be a long term missionary in Africa, I was contacted by several seemingly random people. We didn’t have any contact during the latter part of November up til a random message she sent me in January that I didn’t get to in the midst of my identity theft. With all I had going on in fundraising through letters, speaking and an important fundraising video I was preoccupied. When you add that to actually leaving the states and getting to language school and having my identity stolen, I didn’t realize what God was doing or the ink He was putting down.

That is until a Facebook message titled “(no subject)” came into my inbox on February 7th and since then became a big subject in my prayers and thoughts. February 7th was the first time that I took Awadhi to church with me. While I knew that ICC would be my home church, I decided to go to an Anglican church here in Moshi that above all is known for its international community. I said I was going to meet new people and enjoy the service, but to be honest, I was going to see if there were any young missionary women that I wasn’t previously aware of. Yes, I was looking for my wife. I came home after God had spoken to me and said the words “I have not forgotten you” and I rest assured in what He was doing in my relationship with Awadhi. Little did I know that He wasn’t only talking about Awadhi, but He was also talking about a woman that had just left an interesting message in my inbox.

I sat down at the computer after church and with my kids in my office, I wrote a blog. In that same sitting I read what has proven to be one of the most important letters I’ve ever read. In this letter, this seemingly random woman began to tell me about a course of events that the Lord has taken in her life over the previous month. As she recorded in the message, the Lord put me on her mind in January so she decided to check on my Facebook and see what I was up to. In the process, she saw that I was in fact in transit to Tanzania at that time and she prayed for my travels. As she was on my Facebook she noticed on my wall a YouTube video that I posted. It was a video that many of you may have seen as it was done very well by a guy named Brett, who recorded me telling my story of being called here as a blessing to me and the work at TOA. Melissa watched the video and in her words she “had major Holy Spirit goosebumps and was sort of shaking.” She went on to tell me that she began to feel called to Treasures of Africa. Not one of those random people that contact me because they feel called to Africa (I really do love talking to them), but she was specifically saying TOA. She had asked God to confirm His calling and He did so everyday for two weeks through some pretty random incidents. She called her message to me a step of faith.

Pretty much immediately, my mind went all over the place. She was attractive, loved the Lord and felt called to TOA. That’s a lot more than any other girl I’ve dated or been interested in! She asked me if there was any possibility for her to intern at TOA for the summer. I really didn’t know and it wasn’t my call anyways. As much as possible, I try to take care of small decisions by myself and only present those bigger ones to Lydia if I don’t know or its not my call. Because I didn’t know and it wasn’t my call, I committed it to a week of prayer before mentioning it to Lyd (and Jodie). Sometimes you set aside time to pray and when you finish that time, God has told you what to do. Sometimes you finish that time and just say to yourself “okay, that was a week of prayer.” Such was the case with Melissa coming to intern at TOA. I then submitted it to Lydia and I remember that conversation. Her comment as I showed her the message was “that is very interesting.” Me and Lydia like to be straight up with each other and she asked me if I had any personal interest in the situation. All I could mutter was “potentially,” admitting that at this point I really didn’t know this girl that much. She in turn prayed and submitted it to our head Rita at Hidden With Christ.

Rita is the busiest woman in Orange County. We didn’t hear back from her for a little while and eventually Melissa, in trying to plan for her summer, emailed Rita herself. Rita explained that due to our current situation, it wasn’t possible to bring on an intern for the summer at TOA. It didn’t make it to my ear, until I asked Melissa during an IM conversation. She then began to talk about an opportunity for her to work in Uganda for a few weeks. I was taken back, but I kept my cards close to my chest. Although when I hid away in my house and prayed, it was just about a daily occurrence that Melissa came across my mind and prayers. Nonetheless, if she couldn’t come, she couldn’t come and I trusted God with that. In a subsequent conversation, she asked about my previous two times working in Tanzania as a short term missionary. I explained that I did work with TOA both times, but my contact was always Ryan who was now the head of his own organization Global-EFFECT. She asked what they do and I filled her in a little. She immediately took interest and asked if I would talk to Ryan about taking on another intern. I complied.

During discipleship with Ryan on April 14th, I presented him with the idea of bringing on another intern. I had previously told him about Melissa so he was a little clued in. We noted her persistence to come to Moshi and agreed that her coming here could look like and mean anything. I remember Ryan saying “I don’t know bro, maybe you’re supposed to marry this girl.” Nervous laugh on my part, yeah, that thought had come across my mind a time or two. I told Melissa that day and she began the application and interview process to come on board with Global-EFFECT. She got approved.

We remained in somewhat sporadic contact via FB messages and instant messages. In May, Rita came to Moshi and I remember sitting across from her at Salzburger when she asked, “so what’s going on with that Melissa Miller girl?” “She’s actually going to be interning with Ryan.” I wish I could write the Rita face, but eyebrows go up and she says something to the effect of “hey, you never know.” I kept my cards close to my chest, but I felt like people were trying to peek over my shoulder. The prayers and thoughts continued.

Summer comes and Ryan starts having teams and interns come starting in the middle of May. I’m meeting new people and its quite refreshing to see people my age. I bask in the glory of no longer being a short term missionary, but in fact being a long term missionary now. Ryan has his VU interns come at two different times and I started to really enjoy getting to know Dalila, Nick and Taylor. A lot of anticipation leading up to the first week of July. I knew that Melissa left for Uganda in the middle of June, however I didn’t know what day she would be arriving in Tanzania. I noticed on her Facebook on July 5th that she would be arriving the next day, July 6th. I knew that the other interns were watching a movie that night and that Melissa would arrive there that night to the Helblings back house. I decided to skip the movie and stay at home and write. The following day on the 7th, I would be taking the second half of the day off of work to go with Ryan to Arusha to pick up my close friend Kelli from the airport.

After I taught preschool, Ryan hit me up and said he’s about to arrive at TOA to pick me up and for me to come outside. I realized that there’s a chance Melissa is in the car, but I kept my cool. I walked out to the lawn and pick up Awadhi and played with some of the other kids before I take off for the day. Sure enough, I saw Melissa in the car and its kind of a trip to see her outside of her Facebook pictures (yes, if there is one person that I ever FB stalked it was Melissa). She soon got out and gave me a hug and we met in person for the first time. It was nice.

If I kept my cards close to my chest for those months apart, Melissa did that for her first two weeks in Moshi. I sincerely thought that this Baptist-raised girl was just totally thrown off by me and my friends’ charismatic tendencies. She was in fact observing people and reading situations as to learn. It didn’t help me much as I became confused about whether or not anything would happen and if I had not wasted all those prayers and thoughts. After a couple weeks, she began to open up and I realized that in only a short month she would be off again, so if something was going to happen, it was time to start it.

Sometimes, the Lord sets stuff up and you find yourself not knowing why you do certain things. Before Kelli got here (and yes she was on the inside hooking me up with info), I told her that I would go on safari with her. I hadn’t done it in a couple years and I wanted to honor my friend with my time and get away. I made that commitment before India came up. Had I known about India before it, I would have saved the money instead of going, but I didn’t want to disappoint my friend and I really did want to spend that time with them. Yeah, them, Melissa hadn’t been on safari yet this summer so she came along as well and that was right in the whole plan of things. I texted her the night before asking her if she wanted to talk the following night just the two of us at the safari lodge about what God was doing in her life. At this point, she was certain and open about the fact that the Lord was calling her here with or without a husband on board. I alluded to talking about that, but I had a little more interest than just that.

Anointed. That’s the best way I can describe that conversation. I’m not the kind of guy that likes to beat around the bush and I like everything to be out in the open. Nonetheless, I didn’t know how to start the conversation. My opening line: “It seems like God’s writing a story…” I had planned for the conversation to go so far, and it ended up going much farther. We talked all about everything leading up to that moment going back to when she messaged me in February. It was an amazing conversation. We had to be up very early, so I had to end it in order to get a little shut eye, however I tossed and turned in the night with everything racing on my mind.

For the next five days, we didn’t have any big conversations just little comments here and there. In that time, I had two great conversations with Lauren. It was so great to have her wise and encouraging words. Probably one of my favorite things was sitting at a restaurant for Mary’s birthday and having me and Lauren carry on an entire conversation about Melissa in Swahili without anyone really knowing what we were saying. Then on Sunday August 1st, Lauren and I were talking (in English this time) and I remember telling her that after the conversation that Melissa and I had, it could look like anything. I remember saying, “I don’t know, maybe we’ll get married on furlough.” And Lauren burst out in exclamation. I really didn’t know what to expect. I presented and thought about the whole gamut of possibilities, that being the extreme.

The following day, I was hanging out at Ryan and Stacy’s. We were all together and around 9:30, I asked Melissa if she wanted to talk alone. She said yes and then we went outside to get some alone time. We essentially picked up the conversation from where we left off five days prior. Again, I planned on the conversation going so far and it went so much farther. I again presented my gamut of possibilities and when I said my most extreme thought, Melissa was already there. We talked about all the ways that God had prepared us to get to that point and while I saw the Lord’s hand all over everything, I was hesitant. I was on the verge of something like I’ve never known before and I knew that once I said it, that was it. We were on the fast track to marriage by the Lord’s ordination. I realized that all those times I fantasized about being married and getting married were about to start being brought to fruition and it was a little scary. The death of my singleness was about to begin.

I couldn’t withstand it anymore. I could see what the Lord was doing and all the things that had led Melissa and me to this point. I had to decide if I was by faith going to move into the next chapter and embrace something new and exhilarating. I decided to say it. That night I gave my commitment to Melissa, we shared our first kiss and our first “I love you.”

The following day, I sent out emails to my closest friends and family. Yes, I like to blow minds. The  plan was to get married in late January/early February and that’s what we shared. This began two weeks of keeping it on the down low and I went off the Blogspot/Facebook map, while I was living a story instead of writing one. That Tuesday, I don’t know if I ever felt so nervous. I’ve noticed that on almost anything I don’t care what people think, but for this I did. I wanted wisdom, but I didn’t want people’s disapproval. I realized how crazy and how fast this was going. I saw what God was doing, but now questioned if I was doing it the right way. Melissa and I committed to pray with each other everyday till she left and have done that. Our most common prayer is “Lord, we want what You want.” We’ve had to humble ourselves and say we don’t know what we’re doing and we don’t realize the full implications of everything. Yet, we know that God’s hand is on this and He does all things well. So began my conversations. I had an amazing conversation with Kelli and she was very encouraging and prayed for me. Emails and IM’s back and forth between Andy, Cody, Nate, Joel and Josh. Emails back and forth between Rita, Shawn and Clesi. Emails back and forth between Donny, Melissa (my sister), Bobbie and Corey. Emails and an amazing skype with my folks. They were ultra stoked and supportive. A skype with Melissa’s parents which was good as well. Conversations with Ryan, Stacy, Peter, Mary, Lydia and Jodie. We are so glad this didn’t hit the FB waves too soon!

In those two weeks of praying and talking we’ve found what we believe to be the wisest path before us. It wouldn’t be wise to ignore what God is doing and act as though He hasn’t begun an incredible story. It wouldn’t be wise to act as though we know everything about being engaged or married. It would be wise to get to know each other as good as possible beforehand, but it wouldn’t be wise to use that as an excuse to be non-committal to what the Lord is doing. It would be wise to prepare for the next five months while we’ll be a part and ask others for those prayers. I in fact ask you to pray for us now. It would be wise for Melissa and I to spend more time together before the wedding and undergo pre-marital counseling together as opposed to doing it via skypes and emails. Because of that we decided that instead of getting married in the winter, we’ll get married in the summer and Melissa will spend the spring here in Moshi working with Ryan and getting a better feel for Moshi and TOA before coming on board. Even beyond TOA, this is the woman that I’ll be spending the rest of my life with, so starting it off on the right foot is of the utmost importance and we’ll undergo pre-marital counseling here together during that time. If you know me well, you know that I am a man that doesn’t want to walk without a calling and I want to be purposeful in all that I do. This isn’t a prideful thing for me, rather I find true satisfaction in living within such a mindset focused on Christ. I truly am called to marry Melissa. Emotions and logic aside, I see God’s presence going with us and I want to be a part of that. So for our plans, under the wisdom of other loved ones, we came to the timing conclusion during those two weeks. Although I hadn’t even proposed yet.

Before we get there, I want to take just a moment to fill you in on Melissa a little bit. There’s a reason for all that God does and He wouldn’t set me up with someone if she wasn’t the best possible fit for me. In the time that I’ve gotten to know Melissa (which to be honest isn’t as much as the normal engaged couple) I have gotten a wonderful look into her heart. This woman’s heart beats to the rhythm of God’s. She’s not perfect of course, but she is the perfect fit for me. All the things that I would want in a woman, she has. She is a woman of integrity and strength, love and power, truth and compassion. She moves in the Spirit and He’s already done some new and blessed things just in her time since she got here. She loves the Word of God and applies it to her daily life. She isn’t afraid of the consequences of radical faith and I’ve never met a woman that is so down for the cause of the Kingdom. I was very honest with her and even exemplified that I intend on living a hard life and truly taking up my cross. She didn’t flinch at that. When I told her, I anticipate persecution, she didn’t wince. Whatever I said or whatever I thought, she was prepared for it. She was prepared, because God had prepared her and He had prepared us for one another. Oh and by the way, she’s gorgeous. So anyways, the proposal…

I’m not the kind of guy that is known for his planning. And in Tanzania nothing goes according to plan. I wanted to make it special, but didn’t really know what that would look like. I had a couple friends that gave me ideas and it helped. I came up with a plan that involved church, going out to these beautiful hot springs and then dinner. I set the day for August 15th, two days before Melissa would return to California to finish her last semester of college. All my plans were going off the presupposed arrangement that I have the truck on Sundays. At 5:30 PM on Saturday before I left for the day, Lydia approached me and told me that her and Jodie needed the truck, because Zoe was very sick and needed to go home with them. My poor little girl had this terrible gasping cough and a fever. At that point there’s nothing that I could really do other than say “of course, no problem.” I knew what it meant, but making sure that Zoe is taken care of is so much more important than any plans for the day. I tried to get a hold of Mary (Street) to see if I could use their old truck, but she never got my text. So Saturday night, I was beside myself. Melissa could tell, but I didn’t let her know what was going on as to not ruin the surprise. We went out to eat with Ryan and Stacy at El Rancho and as we were walking out, who should drive up by our friend Ephraim… our safari guide. We had invited him to church with us, but he wasn’t able to make it the previous couple Sundays and now he had lost his phone so he couldn’t contact me. Yet, he drove up fresh off of a ten day safari and said that he would like to go with us to church tomorrow and wants to drive us so that he knows where to go. Thank you Lord. Okay, at least some of the plan was back on. We can still pick up Awadhi and go to church as a family.

Then it was the big day. I still didn’t know how things would shake out without any wheels after church. I cracked open my morning devotional and the Lord spoke. My main devotional is at night, but I read out of a daily devotional in the morning and it always shares a verse for the day. My verse for yesterday… Psalms 37:5 (NIV) “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this.” It didn’t even say what “this” is! Alright, thank you Father. Everything will shake out good. Well, I rode the piki over to Ryan and Stacy’s place. Ephraim is an exceptional Tanzanian in that he was only five minutes late. We hop in the car and head over to pick Awadhi up from TOA. On the way over to church, I explain to Ephraim that we can only talk in Swahili and he can’t tell Melissa what I’m saying. He agrees and I tell him my situation with being about to propose, but not having a truck. I ask him if he can help us out with a ride out to Boma for the afternoon if I paid him. We talked and he said that he can help us out. Not the ideal situation, but at least we had a vehicle to get there. Church was good. I led worship and Melissa did vocals with me (she has an incredible voice). It was quite crowded at church so it was exciting, especially when leading involves coordinating improvisation with three Tanzanian high school boys. It was good nonetheless. After service I went up and talked to Mary and asked her if she had gotten my text about borrowing the truck. She said no and I briefly told her the situation while Melissa is away from us. She says that we could use it and I tell her we will come over to her place and get it that afternoon. I tell Ephraim that we no longer need his services and slip Lauren some money for setting up dinner at her place that night. Melissa remains seemingly uninformed.

After leaving church, Ephraim, in true Tanzanian fashion, takes us to his house for a visit after church. It was crunching my clock a little, but I wanted to be polite and entertain my new friend. I use Awadhi being tired as an excuse to slip away around 12:30 and we headed back to TOA. I had Awadhi make Melissa a card to take home with her and they said their goodbyes at TOA. After that we went to Ryan and Stacy’s. When Melissa runs back to her place, I have Ryan lay hands and pray for me. Melissa and I jumped on the piki and ride over to Peter and Mary’s to get the truck. Mary gives me the keys right away and we hop in the truck. Well, I didn’t realize that it needed to be preheated before starting and since I tried to start it up cold, it jacked the battery up. So Melissa and I have to stay at Peter and Mary’s til just after 2:30 waiting for the mechanic to come to their house and get the thing started.

We eventually leave, but decide that the hot springs are a bit far, so we go to a new place out towards Machame called Protea. We sit at the restaurant and enjoy a good meal. After that we went down to the stream with my guitar and we hung out down there for a while. I sang her a love song, we worshiped together, we hung out and talked. It was beautiful. I had planned on having a song written for her, but like I said not everything goes according to plan down here. I lent my guitar out the previous weekend and instead of getting it right back, I didn’t get it back until yesterday. So yes, I had my guitar, no I didn’t have a song planned. Nonetheless, I put the capo way up high on seven and just improved a love song. It came out quite nice actually, both funny and loving.

After that we went back into Moshi and I teased her about where we would be going, keeping it elusive. We in fact went to Lauren’s where she and Mary (Stucchi) had done an amazing job preparing the back yard and porch with candles, lights and roses. The table was beautifully set and we had Ray Lamontagne playing the whole night. We ate our dinner and had the most wonderful conversation (yes, that is a theme here). We took to the dance floor for a couple songs. Shared a few kisses and above all just enjoyed the presence of each other and the One who was there with us. After dinner, we enjoyed coffee together and talked till after 10 o’clock. I kept an eye on my watch knowing that at sometime, I would have to digest those butterflies and pop the question. At 10:30, I told her I had one more surprise and we needed to go back to the table. She had a seat and I went behind the tree to grab a water basin, towel and soap. I explained to her that being her husband meant I was committing to serving her, loving her, honoring her, respecting and blessing her to the glory of Christ. As a prophetic act, I washed her feet, those beautiful, good news bringing feet. My transition was, “since I’m down here…” and I think you can figure out the rest. I asked the question that was on my mind since February and became a realistic thought in only the last month. She said yes. We then began our engagement with a kiss and time in prayer.

For this we give praise.

5 comments:

  1. This is the best story I've heard in some time! Praising God with you, brother!

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  2. aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh can't believe it. congratulations brandon! GOd is so faithful!

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  3. Praise God, We love you both I sent Melissa a message through face book. I would like you to read it too if you get a chance
    Love Dad

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  4. Brandon! I am brought to tears yet again. I am so happy for you! I don't know if you got the e-mail I sent you way back when you first left. I shared that I felt changed by your sacrifice and testimony. I do, God has spoken to me through your testimony. Your sacrifice, I remember praying for you and feeling Gods heart for you, your willingness to follow Him wherever He calls. You didn't do it for reward. This is just the beginning. His love for you is so beautiful and strong. Melissa sounds amazing! Thank you for sharing. Blessings brother! I am praying and praising!

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  5. Wow! How awesome! Congratulations! I appreciate your attention to detail. Thanks for sharing! :)

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