Greener Pastures

I have no words for what I am feeling right now. I have no category for the things that are happening and the emotions that are attached to them.

I am in Tanzania, not just visiting like in the past.

I live in Tanzania.

There are so many stories that I would normally love to share at this time and I will give you a brief rundown momentarily. But I find myself at a loss for words and only one thing is worthy enough to put in my first post from Tanzania.

My heart is so heavy right now. I arrived in Kilimanjaro and was in the baggage claim office, because all three of my checked bags had been lost in transit. I look out and see Ryan poking his head through the door. I go over to greet him and explain the situation. Moments later, I go out and see Pastor Mbasha as well. As happy as I was to see my two dear friends, I was a little puzzled, because Lydia was supposed to pick me up. Ryan told me she was on her way. I went back into the office and made an arrangement with the customs agent and when I came back out, Lydia and Jodie were there. We exchanged greetings and spoke a few logistics, before I take off for language school. I remembered that I needed to exchange money, so I ran over the exchange bureau. As I was over there I remembered some other money that was in my carry-on and went to grab it. As I was grabbing it, I heard Jodie ask Lydia if I knew about Anjie and in passing I said I know she is sick. I went back over to the exchange desk and Lydia followed me over. She began to tell me why her and Jodie were late. She told me that our four year old Treasure, Anjela, died on Sunday while I was in transit and out of touch. They were at her funeral. I don’t have words for this.

I am so glad that Anjel is with Jesus. I posted earlier, but it was deleted on accident, instead of re-doing it right away, I went back to my room and spent time in prayer and worship. Anjela is before my face and she’s so happy. She died of complications with pneumonia, largely due to her being HIV+ and having cerebral palsy. She WAS blind. But now her eyes are on her Creator and He loves far more than any of us ever could.

I was in Mexico early 2008 doing training for my first trip to Tanzania. As we were spending time in worship and prayer, the Lord began to speak to me. He was speaking to me about children that die. I had already started sponsoring Awadhi by this point and the fact that he is HIV+ was pounding in my head. Loving him this way is inherently more risky when sickness is in the mix. The time around the fire ended and people went about their business, but I couldn’t. I was distraught I went out to the road and was pacing back and forth under a streetlight as the Lord began bringing to mind the names of children I was close to and asking a question. What about him? What about her? I made a decision that night that I would rather hold my own child as they die, if it meant that they didn’t die without a dad. And now here I am day 1 in Tanzania and one of our little girls passed away.

Anjela was wonderful and so very loved. She died being loved. She wasn’t discarded as a baby, when she was found to be diseased and deformed. The doctor didn’t give her a week when we got her at 2 ½ and she lived to see her fourth birthday. She was loved and nurtured by the family of the Lord at TOA until the day that the Lord decided to take her home. And now she is with Him. In pastures far greener and more beautiful. She is running, she is dancing and seeing her Father face to face. For this we give praise.

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I hate to change gears, but I know that you are wondering so here is the what else been going on. Saying goodbye to my folks on Sunday was very hard, but their support is tremendous. It served as the “splash” of the whole getting in over my head. I had some good conversations along the way, a Norweigen fourth grader named Diane, spoke of God and things with a 18-year old Serbian woman named Jovana, and was fast friends with a Muslim man named Ibraham. The Lord showed His deliverance while I was in London. I spent Monday going around and managed to get lost, but still made it back to Heathrow with plenty of time only to find complications with the tickets and visas. Long story short, to be perfectly honest, had it not been for the Lord, I wouldn’t even be here yet. Landing in Kilimanjaro went well, except that all three of my checked bags from Minneapolis are MIA. Hopefully I’ll get them within the next couple days. The facility at language school is very nice and the people are kind and agreeable. I already have homework, which I should be working on right now. There are monkeys that run around the property and its fun to watch them. I will be heading to Moshi on Friday to start settling into my new house and see the Treasures. I can hardly wait. I will then return to language school on Monday and do it again the next weekend. Please pray for the Treasures, my Moshi family and myself. I love you all.