Generosity

You can say that I have a lifestyle job. It drastically affects my life and as taxing as it is at times, I absolutely love it. I remember when I was filling out some paperwork for our insurance with Hidden With Christ. As I was filling it out, Lydia came into my office and I asked her what she put for how many hours she works per week. Its kind of a hard thing to quantify, because it was  our “job” that drove us all the way to the other side of the earth in the first place. And time isn’t the only thing that my “job” affects. Read any blog from last year and you’ll see the emotional cost of this line of work. Not to mention the effect it has on close relationships that I have with people I’ve known for years. My lifestyle job has had a drastic effect on every area of my life. I wouldn’t trade it for the world, because the difficulties are only matched by the tremendous joys I experience with those around the kids, namely the kids.


Among the many areas that my job affects is our personal finances. Because of the line of work that Melissa and I are in we are forced to kind of live on the edge financially. In fact the entire operation at Hidden With Christ is a live by faith endeavor financially. We trust that God will provide and we realize that His major mode of financial transport is through generous people; most  Christians, many not. People will sometimes ask how we make money at TOA and how I get paid, in the framing of their question I can tell they seem to think that I must make “good money” or that that is one of the highlights of working in a developing country. I posture myself and highlight that we don’t have anything product that we’re producing that would return gains to us. In the strictly worldly sense, we’re a drain on the economy, outside of those Tanzanians that we employ.

Verse of the Week: Matthew 6:26-27

This week's verse is the classic "don't worry" verse, a reminder that I need regularly. I often think that I don't worry, but then my mom tells me that I'm a big worrier and she's typically right about stuff like that. There seems to be a lot of worry going around these days, especially because of the global economic downturn. As Christians we ought to show concern and help those in need, all the while being diligent to take care of ourselves and our families. But by looking at this verse the proper biblical stance is to not worry, no matter what the circumstance.

"Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?" -Matthew 6:26-27

Money

Welcome to Brandon’s therapy session.


Over the last couple weeks, as Snoop Doggy Dog would put it “I’ve had my mind on my money and my money on my mind.” Not just my money though, but money in general would probably be more apt. Nonetheless, I felt it was blog worthy as it is so integral to our society to the point that we come up with trite sayings like “Money makes the world go round” and what not. Not to mention money and personal finances are topics readily found throughout the Bible. It must be important. The only thing that Jesus talks about more than money in the gospel accounts is the Kingdom of God. That’s right, he talks more about money than he does about love, salvation, repentance and so on. Yeah, I’d say its quite important.


I was hanging out with Shawn the other day and we had some really good conversation as we tend to do. One of the topics, as one might suspect, was popular Christianity. Specifically we spoke at length about two individuals, one of them being Joel Osteen. He is undoubtedly the most prominent figure of the “prosperity gospel.” His book titles include Become a Better You, Its Your Time and Your Best Life Now. I don’t intend to bash another brother, I want God’s will for his life. However, I have a few reservations with the message he portrays. Mr. Osteen read the Bible and gave his life to a homeless first-century rabbi who told people to die to themselves before He Himself was tortured and murdered. Somehow, after this, Mr. Osteen landed on believing that God’s will is for us to be rich and indulge in treasures on this earth, even though they’ll rust and destroy as Jesus said they would.

When I write a book, I'm doing the same pose for the cover. Cover via Amazon

I watched a Larry King interview with Joel Osteen a while back and they showed video from his house and his church. Very big, very fancy, very expensive. He definitely lives out the gospel that he preaches. By his own definition, he has become a better him. The problem that I see with this view of money that many Christians believe in is two-fold. One, I find it unbiblical (as you could tell from the previous paragraph). I think that Mark Driscoll puts it well that when the message is “get rich, get healthy, be happy, that’s the equation… what we are saying is that as Christians we have nothing to offer that is any different from non-Christians or other religions.” Our life in Christ has the same end as that of those in the world: our own prosperity, as opposed to God’s glory. The prosperity gospel is the Christian American dream. Those are American ideals on those book covers, not biblical ideals. “Your,” its about you, its about the individual, “Best Life,” be all that you can be, humanism, health, wealth, indulgence. “Now,” immediately, don’t wait, don’t be patient, why sit down in the booth when you can get it from the drive-thru?


 Secondly, and this is the one that I’ll hit on more from my experience, I find the prosperity gospel doesn’t work out pragmatically. Do you have the kind of cash that Mr. Osteen has? It is a scary proposition when your faith is measured in dollar signs. Fortunately for Joe Christian like me, its not. I believe that God is a God of enough. He is gracious, He gives abundantly. He knows that we require some material things to survive and He has blessed not only the global church, but really the entire world with more than enough. The problem is that people (Americans for certain) horde. They don’t heed Jesus parable about the man that built the bigger barn to hold all his stuff (Luke 12:13-21). Furthermore, peoples’ eyes are bigger than their stomachs and their security and comfort become dependent on the things they own as opposed to the Lord. When this happens, some people wind up with way too much money and others, who might have faith through the roof, end up on the short end of the stick.

Radical

I had a nice long conversation on Sunday night with Melissa and I was sharing my heart as one might say. In the midst of exhaustion, a level of discouragement has been setting in from time to time as of late. I know the Lord has more for His people and yet I don’t know what to do in getting us all there. 


I’ve now been in California for over a month on this furlough. In so many ways, being here feels like one of the last places I want to be and yet I know that the Lord has me here for His own purposes. Five Sundays and six churches behind me, I’m left wanting. I have spoken at good churches full of people that I love and that God loves. Yet, there’s so much more that we could be doing, there’s so much more that we should be doing. 


I can’t tell if its wrong of me to say all this or if it would be wrong of me to not say it. Lord, help me. Shane Claiborne talks about a visit that he had to a church in Iraq. In seeing the vibrancy of the church and the amount of believers, he shares his amazement with the pastor. The pastor smirks and notes that America didn’t invent Christianity, we just domesticated it. 


Domestic gospel. We are to be the salt and light of the world, we are the bearers of the good news and our message comes across domicile. That’s wrong. It doesn’t even make sense and yet that appears to be what’s happening.   


Potential. That’s one thing that I kept repeating over and over to Melissa the other night. There is so much potential in the United States church. Do we really care about our witness or are we more interested in image management? There are some incredible ways that we could be living out our faith that would revolutionize not just our own lives but also the way that people see us. 

Distractions

I seem to have come up against a wall of some sort here in the golden state. I keep wanting to do things and then ending my days feeling like nothing is getting done. The American culture is quite the life to be thrust back into after spending the last year in the laid back life of East Africa. I’ve always said that I love southern California, as opposed to northern California or the East Coast, because of how much more chill life is here. I’ll tell you that it doesn’t even compare to the chillness of Kilimanjaro. Its all flying by and every flashing advertisement, new fancy gadget and have-to-be-there event is only accelerating this precious experience we call life.


I had dinner with my friend Rodrigo the other day and he asked me if I felt American culture has more distractions. I said no at the time, citing that in my experience in Moshi, I was pretty constantly distracted by my loneliness and what not. That makes sense in my personal experience, but I would say that American culture has many distractions that are ingrained into the very fabric of society.


When I was cleaning out my house in Moshi, I came across my planner from 2009. As I flipped through the pages, I saw so many coffee dates, church events, errands to be run and the like all penciled into my full schedule. One might say that a planner could keep your head from spinning, but more accurately its just the thing that keeps your head spinning at a decent speed without falling off the swivel. I bought a 2010 planner before moving to Moshi and didn’t use it once. As soon as I came back though, I knew that I should get one for 2011 and sure enough its filling up and I’m trying to get stuff done without becoming too distracted by all the things vying for my attention.

India Post #2 - Faith

Written on August 22nd, 2010

I’m learning to walk by faith in new ways. Two big things have happened in the last month and if it weren’t for the graciousness of Rita and Lydia to trust that I am following the Lord, I undoubtedly would look like a loose cannon within Hidden With Christ. No TOA missionary has ever left for two weeks to go on another missions trip and certainly no one else has gotten engaged to a short term missionary in a matter of weeks. While, all this is going on around me, I find myself forced to walk in it by faith that this is what God is doing and I do indeed see His hand on these things.

We met Sunday night as a team for worship, prayer and impartation. A means to build each other up for the task at hand. We would begin our formal ministry the next day through a morning prayer walk followed by prayer and prophetic ministry to local pastors and their wives. As we prayed, it came to Ryan that we are to pray for our eyes to be able to see those things that go on in the spiritual realm. It was already on my heart as well and my Bible was open to share on 2 Corinthians 4:18 which I shared in my post a few days ago. We need the eyes to be able to see into that spiritual realm and engage that which is eternal. It takes faith to do so.

Remember my previous post? What was that all about? I think about what I saw in the spiritual realm where I was fixing my eyes and I saw what the people in the plane were enslaved to. It took faith for me to believe that and to pray into that. It took faith for me to post about what I saw. Undoubtedly anyone could have read that post and figure I’ve gone off the deep end. Biblically, to be able to receive words of knowledge or words of prophecy are totally normal. And yet we often find ourselves too timid to embrace those gifts which the Holy Spirit gives to advance the Kingdom of Heaven. It is a false humility and a limitation on the vastness of God to say that prophecy couldn’t come from our lips and that a word of knowledge couldn’t come to our minds. We are so afraid of what others might think that we resort to not engaging those supernatural things that take a higher faith, thus settling for a more domicile version of the Gospel and relationship with Christ.

Missionary

I was in my small group on Wednesday and as our discussion was wrapping up I said something (I don’t even remember what it was) and in it I referred to myself as a missionary. A friend of mine from the group, Victor, was sparked by my off hand reference and asked me to divulge further on why I referred to myself as such. He went on to say how it is his belief (which I agree with mostly) that being a missionary should be synonymous with being a Christian, so either every Christian should get the title or none should. A discussion ensued to say the least.

Why did I refer to myself as a missionary? The truth is that I typically don’t, and it is striking to think of myself as such. Growing up, the picture in my mind of a missionary was somebody going out into the middle of the Amazon, learning the language, sharing the Gospel and living there for at least twenty years straight. You know what a lot of my work detail involves? Construction paper. I use a lot of construction paper for the preschool. That isn’t what I had in mind growing up with a picture of being a missionary. I found myself explaining that its not because of my personal view of myself, but rather I’m playing off the typical American Christian mindset of what a missionary is. The way that my other friend from group, Phillip, was explaining it made sense to me and essentially there are three things that would lead me to call myself a “missionary.” 1. I live in a country that I am not native to. 2. I am here fulfilling some sort of mission that goes in line with The Great Commission (I’m in the discipleship business). 3. I am sent, supported and funded by the church I am native to, the American church. It would be accurate to say I am an Education Director which I typically follow up with, but if I were visiting the states and speaking to someone they could think Education Director at the YMCA around the corner. Whereas, those three points shape my life a lot more then the work detail itself.

Phillip’s wife Joy was talking about how when she goes back to Norway, she deliberately doesn’t say “missionary” because that will send the person’s walls up and they’ll put her in a box. That’s wise and I pray for the same discernment. I’ll try to be all things to all men on something like a title for myself (1 Corinthians 9:22). If you are an American Christian, I’m a missionary. If you don’t like that term, I’m an Education Director and Business Manager. If you’re not a believer, I’m a humanitarian worker. Above all those, I’m a father.

The following day I was emailing my South African friend Portia (here’s your shout out, sister) and she was responding to my previous post and my thoughts on short-term missions. She went on to talk about her belief that some Christians are called to hang with the kids on their own block and work the soup kitchens in their own neighborhood. I totally agree. Victor had asked me if I would consider all Christians to be missionaries and I replied conditionally. I said in calling, yes, all Christians are called to be missionaries. But in actuality, no, not all who call themselves Christian live like they’re on a mission.

The Lord’s ways are higher than mine and yours. I feel from time to time the things that I speak of sound like I am firmly on one side or another of an old Christian debate (all my Calvinists say ‘hey’ all my free-willers say ‘ho’). The following is such a comment, but I humbly say I don’t know how the big picture works exactly. I do believe that we as Christians miss out on things that the Lord had planned for us to do. I mentioned this idea towards the end of my blog last week also. John Piper’s book Don’t Waste Your Life was largely focused on this idea that we don’t waste our life, fitting title right? He shares a story of this man who has lived most of his life and comes to the Lord for the first time. While he is now saved, he repeatedly says “I’ve wasted it, I’ve wasted it.” He wasted so much of his life. Praise God his life wasn’t over right then, but that is a tough thing to look back on. All the worse I believe, if we were saved a long time ago, but kept the Holy Spirit bottled up and kept our salvation in our pocket instead of sharing it. Don’t hide it under a bushel now.

So okay then I’m a missionary missionary. I’m a missionary (because I’m a Christian) missionary (because I live a mission in a foreign country and am supported by the church) and what effect does that have on my life? Those three points I mentioned earlier have a profound impact on my life and what I am able to do and what I choose to do with my life. I inherently don’t see friends and family, because I live in a country that I’m not native to. I have to be ultra focused on my mission because its what the Lord has called me to and anything else here would be a waste. But its that third thing that came up again this week.

For those of you that saw one of my most commented on FB status updates, you know that I have tickets to a game for the World Cup. I have played soccer since I was five and love to watch it as well. I remember the last World Cup in Germany and was so stoked on it. One of my favorite mini games during soccer practice growing up was even called “World Cup.” There’s a contest Coca-Cola is doing down here that has all these Tanzanians checking their soda bottle caps to see if they won tickets to a game down there. Yeah, its kind of a big deal and I have tickets. Some volunteers that are here were planning on being down there in South Africa during the tournament, but can’t go so they gave the tickets to me and Lauren. Needless to say I was flipping out when Lauren first told me. Well if only it were that simple… Lauren has been contacting people, I’ve been contacting people and going online and the cheapest plane tickets out of Kilimanjaro are over $700 and the cheaper option is taking a bus up to Nairobi first (an 8 hour bus ride) and flying out of there for $634. Unless something happens, it doesn’t look like we’re going.

The truth is that I could spend $700 on a plane ticket, my finances would take a hit, but its feasible. The Lord has been gracious to me over the last couple months and I‘m not in the spot I was in back in February. Between my friend taking the load off of me with my credit card plus my parents giving me $400 for my birthday last month, $700 is feasible. I don’t see myself pulling the trigger on it though. It is against my personal nature of living minimally. I know that the Lord owns all things, plane tickets, money whatever. So if I’ve wanted something, I’ve prayed for it and He’s provided for me that way. I definitely live with less than the average 24 year old American but I’m satisfied and my most expensive things are not things that I’ve paid anything for, because He’s provided for me. Between that and the whole “missionary” thing I can’t do it. My supporters are wonderful, amazing people. They gave to Hidden With Christ towards my personal support and I can’t justify taking that money and spending $700+ on a three day trip to South Africa.

What point is there in me telling you all that? I wish I had some great moral of the story but the following will have to suffice. Because I live on a mission, I have to remain focused. Every action I perform has a repercussion and I want every action of mine to honor God. Last night a good Christian Tanzanian woman who runs another children’s home here, was encouraging me to go through with the decision and just spend the $700. She talked about how I’m a prince and since I’ve put God first and am fulfilling His mission here, its okay for me to spend some money on something I like. I am a prince and I do need to give myself grace sometimes to do things like that. I love my supporters and I know they love me, because they love me I’m sure they’ll email me or comment telling me its okay to go down there. I appreciate your love and your support. However that’s only one of three pieces in this (how Trinitarian am I being today?).

The second piece is this… I may be a prince and I may be able to afford it, but there are other things that $700 could go towards and advance the Kingdom. There are children that are going to starve tonight. Even TOA has some big financial needs right now. In light of the suffering around me, I couldn’t bring myself to be that rich white person that flies down to South Africa for a few days to catch a World Cup match. The third piece is a realization of faith in my Father, the King. He owns all the money, all the airlines, everything. I don’t need to spend anything. I can use that money for a need of another and He can still provide me a way to South Africa if that’s what He wants. So I’m not throwing away an opportunity of a life time, but I’m just going to completely leave it in His hands and ask for His will.

You are a missionary. I’m not being corny, I’m not being cliché. Whether you live in California, South Africa or wherever, you are called to fulfill a specific mission that the Lord has put before you. You are called to not waste your time and to not lose focus. You are called to the person standing in front of you and to advance His Kingdom in your sphere of influence. Don’t let this roll of your mind because you’ve heard it before in some fashion. If this rolls of your mind and you haven’t been living out the mission, you are going to continue in wasteful living. This probably doesn’t look like moving to a foreign country (although it could). It does, however, look like difficulty, looks like sacrifice, looks like fulfillment, looks like purpose. Be so bold as to fulfill the mission that He’s put before you. He will give you the grace for all such things, for this we give praise.

--------------------------------

The Rundown: Related to the things that I spoke of but also not, I’ve felt a bit of a heaviness this week. Earlier this week, I truly found myself to be bored one afternoon. Along with that is a lack of motivation that comes from time to time. Its hard out here guys and I feel like I’m not understanding much a lot of the time. Its been good to have some reflective prayer though and I trust that the Lord is at work with something. On worship on Thursday, I was just realizing that I need a rest of some sort. I’ve been at TOA everyday since language school ended in January. I get caught up in my work and want to do it well and this is the most significant work of my life so I want to be there always. Also, a weekend would be the best time to break, but that’s the only time that Awadhi’s home, so I’m still there doing one thing or another. Anyways, other than that, the NMC team is gone and the Vanguard team is here. I saw a friend from the team, but not the whole team yet. They’re coming to TOA tomorrow (Saturday) so that should be cool. Today was good. I picked Awadhi up from school and had a good conversation with his Headmistress and she was telling me how well he’s doing. I also told her that I’m interested in hiring a tutor so hopefully that bears some fruit. After that, all the little ones were on a walk, the lower elementary kids were doing homework and the older kids were at school still so Awadhi and I just went out and played by ourselves. We played soccer and I’m trying to get him ready to start playing in the big games with the older kids. I know he’s little, but he’s athletic like his dad. After that we shot hoop and he was knocking down granny shots from ten or twelve feet back so I showed him how to shoot normal and he started making those from close range. Then he did the ultimate copy-dad and shot it over the backboard and made it twice. It reminded me of playing horse with my dad growing up and was definitely a highlight of my week. Other than that, I got back to pick-up soccer now that teams are gone and nothing was going on today. It is a lot of fun to get out there and mix it up with all those Tanzanians. Wow, long rundown. Don’t worry, I’m done now.

Impact

I came here for a reason. Every American missionary that comes to Tanzania comes for a reason. If you come for short-term or for long-term you are looking for an impact, either in your personal life or that of another person.

Ryan is hosting a two week team from Newport Mesa Church (NMC) right now and its been a blessing to hang out with them a few days of their stay here. Earlier today they came over to TOA to play with the kids. They came around 2:30 in the afternoon and came upstairs to the education room where I had six kids on the computers and the rest playing ESL Bingo with me shouting out the words. We welcomed them in and the leader was asking me questions about what the education room was about and what we do with the kids. As the Education Director (such an impressive title right?), I was pleased to fill him in. This is one of the ways that I came here to impact the kids.

Far more than that, I have come here to be a father to these children. Eli is an amazing father to the kids and I couldn’t over exaggerate his imperative role at TOA and each of the kids lives. Nonetheless, he is one man and they are twenty-six children. We have a couple other men who play roles in their lives, a cleaner and driver for us Baba Pendo and one of our guards Arnold who they call “Uncle.” But even with a good father and a couple good uncles, they are still twenty-six children. So the Lord called me here to be another big part of their life as their father. Far and away, that is the most important reason I came here. I remember a man at language school, a good guy here making an impact, asking me if I considered myself to be the education director or a father foremost and I firmly answered a father. I could tell he was skeptical as he said “hmm… I wonder how that will affect your work” or something to that effect. Education is so important and good education will positively effect Africa. I value education (enough for me to spend four years in college getting a degree in it.) But this nation doesn’t reek with lack of education half as bad as it reeks of fatherlessness.

The Lord showed me something a couple months ago as I went to pick Awadhi up from school. I was thinking about how frustrating it is that despite me being here, the Lord hasn’t healed Awadhi and because of that he has to go to a boarding school Monday through Friday. Until the Lord releases whoever is anointed for Awadhi’s healing, there isn’t a thing that I can do other than pray and wait. I can’t just heal my son, or at least not yet. My son lacks. He lacks HIV- blood which causes him to need to take a lot of medicine just to allow him to be the active boy that he is. He lacks the sense of hearing that keeps him from hearing music, holding normal conversations and causes him to have to go to a special school out in Kiboroloni. But the Lord showed me the importance of this, there is one thing that he doesn’t lack now that I’m here. He no longer lacks a father. Love is most important. My son is loved and he knows it. You should see us together, we’re adorable. Awadhi isn’t yet healed physically, but he has the most beautiful spirit and I know that the Lord is doing something because of the fatherly love that I show towards him. That’s an impact.

Like every other American Christian my age “I have a heart for Africa.” I’m about as trendy as you can get, I actually live here (I don’t know how facetiousness comes across in blogs). I don’t really like generalities. People ask me from time to time “how’s Africa?” and I’m like “Overall, I have no idea, its kind of big and I only live in one city. How‘s North America?” When I lived in Costa Mesa, friends from Paso would ask me “how’s LA?” and I was like “if I lived there I’d tell you.” Pet peeve? Labda. Nonetheless, its hard for me to say that I have a heart for Africa or that I am called to make an impact in Africa. I believe a ripple effect could take place that would reach the whole continent, but I’m called to be the most loving father and impact the child that the Lord places in front of me. As far as Africa goes, the first time the Lord called me here in June 2007 he said “Go run an orphanage in Africa.” So yeah he started off general, but it took literally two days before He put Tanzania in front of me and its been all about my country ever since.

Why did I write the last paragraph? I don’t know. But I do know this, that young people in the states want to make an impact and often say they “have a heart for Africa.” I don’t want to discredit that, because the Lord may be doing something in you. As I talked about a few blogs ago, that must go deeper than buying a t-shirt (I’m kind of big on this taking legitimate action if you haven’t noticed). And this doesn’t have to be strictly about Africa, I have friends the Lord has called to missions in South America, Asia, wherever. I can’t say enough about prayer for these things. And praying for specificity is what I’m getting at here. If you are feeling called to make an impact somewhere, ask Him where, ask Him what to do, ask Him how long. He has something specific in mind, so go after that and move in faith towards it, step by step.

One of those steps is often short-term trips. I was a short-term missionary to Tanzania twice before I moved here and they‘ve played a role in my life here. I’ve heard from missions minded people that short-term missions are actually quite ineffective in the long run for the countries in which they serve. I can see that, but I don’t totally subscribe to it because I think the Lord can use all such things. I know the team that came here for Hidden With Christ a couple weeks ago had a good impact and were a blessing. I also think about my team from a couple years ago and have good memories of what the Lord did in each of us. Like I mentioned in last week’s rundown, the first teammate of mine from that team just returned to Tanzania (Tyler). I’ve shown some of the kids pictures from that trip and asked them if they remember the people. Of all the kids that I’ve asked only Innocent and Ray have said that they remember anyone from that team (other than me, I am their father and all). They do remember the interns from that summer, likewise they remember Ann who interned with me last summer, but most of my kids don’t remember most of the people from that team. Its not a harsh thing, it just is what it is. They’ll probably forget the AIM team that was here in March, the team that was here a couple weeks ago. Those faces get replaced with the new faces of whatever visitors come through the gate next. Nonetheless, an impact happened because of my team in the summer of 2008. As cliché as it is to say, the team was more impacted by the kids, then the other way around. It was a good thing and far from anything to be ashamed of.

So how do we make an impact? I’m not trying to say that everyone that comes here on short-term trips needs to just move here to be legit. That’s not it. Its just that the short-term trip is often (not always) not enough if you want to make a lasting impact. I met with this NMC team back in the fall as I was preparing for my return here and what I told them was what I’m telling you now. If you want to make a lasting impact, make the two week or two month stay about more than just a two week or two month stay. Prepare yourself with prayer and I don’t mean just praying the Lord prepares you, but pray for the people, pray that the Lord works in their lives, related and unrelated to your short term mission. Pray for them afterwards. Send them support money and supplies, before and after the trip. We’re blessed by Tyler because he has sponsored Jerry for over two years. Prayerfully consider if the Lord is calling you long-term. I was talking with one of the guys from the team today and he told me that he feels the Lord may be calling him here long-term, which is so sweet. Only problem is he’s a dude and I’m looking for a wife. Awkward to say? Labda. But just so you short-termers know, us single long-termers expect you to come here and marry us. Desperate plea aside… I’ll be frank with you, if you are only interested in seeing a new part of the world and experiencing new things, call it what it is, a vacation your family gets a tax write off for. But if you want to advance the kingdom in whatever way He calls you, then come out we’d love to facilitate your mission.

We are called to make an impact in the nations, specifically to preach the gospel and make disciples. According to the great commission, the impact is supposed to take place in every nation and according to the Holy Spirit working your life, its supposed to take place in the nation that He is calling you to. When the rubber hits the road, fulfilling this commission is a multi-faceted thing to follow through on. Nonetheless, the need to make an impact, whether it be California or Africa, is a calling on the life of every follower. Let this be an encouragement to you to seek the Lord in each nation that He calls you to. It would be awful to look back and realized He had you somewhere and you didn’t fulfill what He wanted to do there. Far more than that we do it because it shows Him love. He is worthy of every nation and it is our delight to impact them and bring them to the Father, for this we give praise.

--------------------------------------------

The Rundown: A fairly normal week. Its weird not having Jodie around with her being on furlough, but we’re getting along. I think Jubee misses her. Its been cool to hang out with the NMC team a few times this week. They are good people and I look forward to them leading at church tomorrow at ICC. Small group on Wednesday was good. We are going through a series on the life of David and its lead to good conversations. Thursday night worship was really rad. The NMC team was there (16 people I think) plus a couple New Life short-term volunteers plus a handful of American long-termers and it was definitely the biggest crowd I’ve seen there for worship. Funny to think that sometimes its just me, Ryan and Alice. I played a ridiculous amount of soccer today with the team being at TOA which was so much fun. Overall, things are great. Alright, AMANI!

Answered Prayers

Like most things in my life here, my spiritual life has been flipped upside down and I’m searching for categories to place things. As if prayer weren’t hard enough to understand as it is, just focusing during times of prayer now has become one of the most elusive things for me to accomplish during my quiet times. And despite my own distractions and inability to “speak the right words” to Him, prayer is still a two way street and I’m seeing more and more how the Lord makes sure to hold up more than His side of the exchange.

My first night in my house here was one marked by prayer. I was pleased to come in and see my house furnished with borrowed furniture, but there was no bed yet and no mosquito net. I pulled the cushions off the couch and placed them on the floor in my living room to go to sleep. January is the middle of summer here, so it was a bit hot, so I slept in my normal attire of shorts and no shirt. Little did I know that I was about to be engaged in warfare. Prayer. Warfare. You know what comes next… I got LIT UP by mosquitoes. I started putting on more and more clothes, pulling my hood all the way over my face to the point where all that was somewhat exposed were my hands and that was unintentional as I was asleep. The Bible says that our tongue has the power to both bless and curse. In high school I had a potty mouth from time to time, but I was literally cursing these mosquitoes, like telling them to just die. I was laying there just praying that God would just kill these stupid useless mosquitoes. Well, He didn’t kill them and the next morning I woke up with about ten to fifteen bites on each hand and also got a bit on my ankles.

Its kind of interesting to think about prayer. We can pray in faith and expect results, but that doesn’t make life easy and after one problem is solved, another one pops up. I don’t know what to make of this necessarily, but often I say in my prayer “Lord, it would be good if __________, because ________” like “Lord it would be good if this stupid internet would just be fast enough so that I can get this stupid YouTube video to upload, because then people back in the states can see what our kids are up to and they might pray for us or donate.” Sometimes, the video uploads, sometimes it doesn’t. I think it would have been good for me to not get attacked and have an ultra itchy hand the next day after sleeping in my house that night, but it didn’t happen. Perhaps there is a level of vanity too something like YouTube videos and mosquito bites, but all the same, doesn’t God want to do good things?

I don’t claim to have any answers to why those things don’t happen and I don’t know how this whole prayer thing works. The Lord will accomplish His will on earth. He does it through our prayers and actions. But He doesn’t “need” us necessarily, He chooses to use us. But if we don’t do our part, He makes up for it. Sometimes we pray and nothing happens. Sometimes we pray one thing and the opposite thing happens. Sometimes we pray and exactly what we prayed for happens. I remember talking about prayer in youth group and I remember my youth pastor saying, “when you pray, God either says ‘Yes,’ ‘No’ or ‘Wait’” At the time that seemed so profound to me, now looking back I think about what happens if one of my kids asks me for something, what do I say, ‘Ndiyo,’ ‘Hapana’ or ‘Subiri’ (sometimes I say ‘labda’ but I don’t think God says that). Wow, okay that’s helpful then.

You all ready to hear some truth? The Lord DOES hear our prayers. It does make a difference. When we pray, things shift in Heaven and Earth and good stuff happens. We don’t understand it completely, but that’s okay. Stop and think about what you are doing… you are speaking with a transcendent infinite being who created the universe and loves you like a father… are we expecting to understand that? What’s more than that is that the Lord does answer our prayers and when He does He has a flawless record of coming through on His word. I am writing this in Tanzania, because the Lord answered my prayer and I thank Him for that.

On Wednesday, Lydia and I met together to just talk about how my first month and a half of actual work at TOA has gone and what things we can be doing and working on and everything. I had a meeting with my incredibly godly boss essentially. We of course talked the technical stuff of work detail. But I was also telling her how grateful I am for her and Jodie and Eli. She went on to return the gratitude and she told me that I am specifically an answer to prayer. It took a special grace for her to do the books and seeing the kids (especially the little ones) learning English has been something critical to running this place, but it was outside of her ability because of everything else that needed to get done. She prayed that someone could come and do these things and the Lord sent me here. The Lord orchestrated something beautiful. Three years ago, three women came here and started an orphanage. That summer, the Lord first called me here and I soon thereafter found out about this place specifically. It soon became a prayer of mine that the Lord release me to come here and start down the path of running an African orphanage. Lydia was the Education Director who became interim Program Director who went back to be Education Director who went back to interim Program Director who became permanent Program Director. Ryan and Stacy came through during that time. For a year in there, a man named Warren came here and fixed the booking system. All this stuff was happening here and I was in California praying that the Lord would release me here. Then in a beautiful moment, Rita offered me a position at TOA and after answering the prayers for a children’s pastor in Long Beach, I returned here and the culmination of many prayers took place. Wow.

One more story…

My senior year of college, I took 40 units altogether so that I could graduate on time with no outstanding units. Because my school schedule was so strenuous, I had to drastically cut back on my hours working at the city. That didn’t mean that my cost of living went down though, so I had to pay for things with my credit card. After I graduated and started working more regularly, I went back to mostly using debit, but I wasn’t really able to make much of a dent in the credit card payment as I was paying back my loans and rent and food and everything else. I stopped using it eventually, but couldn’t pay more than the minimum most months. I prayed and fasted for my financial situation. I dared to pray that the Lord would pay off all my debt (credit card and loans) within a year of my graduation. I only told Clesi and Ashley up til right now, but I prayed, gave generously regularly, and fasted asking the Lord to pay off all my debt before May 2009. The evening of April 30th, Ash and I were literally on top of Triangle Square in Costa Mesa looking through planters for $50,000. Didn’t find anything. So did the Lord just not hear our prayers, not see the fasting? I don’t think so. In the words of my wise youth pastor I think He just said, “wait.” This week, an answer came to $3,500 of my debt. In an act of submission to the Spirit and joyful generosity, a friend of mine has taken over the remaining balance of my credit card. A friend who is already an AMAZING supporter of mine and already had a great impact on me while I was living in California. This friend is a beautiful answer to my prayers and I trust the Lord has something special for them.

Pray. He hears you. He loves you. He has good things for you. If you are discouraged in your praying, ask the Holy Spirit to do His work of encouragement. I stand in the blessed prayers of yesterday and I hope that the next season bears wonderful fruit that I prayerfully sow today.

-------------------------------------------

The Rundown: This week has been good. Last Sunday I helped Lauren move some stuff for another missionary and after that I swam with her and Ronda at their place. Its just nice to hang out with friends and I’m blessed that they were both my roommates over the summer. Monday, I was over at Lydia and Jodie’s for dinner. They are not only hospitable but the food is BOMB! Wow, chicken pot pie with mashed potatoes and gravy. Its like I’m back in the states. I’ve been able to hang out with those short termers a few time so that’s been cool. Discipleship was good on Tuesday, small group was good on Wednesday and worship was really good on Thursday. Yeah, other than that not too much going on. Emails, messages and comments always welcome

Need For Grace

Well I’m at TOA. Language school is over and I spent the weekend and today at the orphanage.

Its official. I am in way over my head. That sounded so romantic when I said it in Long Beach, now its more daunting than ever.

I prepared to come here, but there was only so much that I could do stateside. I was assuming that once my foot touched the tarmac at Kilimanjaro International, all of a sudden all of these things would just come to mind and I’d know exactly what the ESL program would look like and the preschool class and the bookkeeping and everything. Well, Day 1 is in the books and I’m still like “huh?”

When I was a senior in high school, I took over as the PRHS website editor after the Christmas break. This was a position that had never been held by a student, but my teacher was being deployed to Iraq and he asked me to be in charge of posting because of my riveting journalism starting the “Bearcat Spotlight.” I got back from break and felt pretty legit, I sat in the teachers chair in the front of the class while all the other students were at their computers. Yeah, I was the man, pretty sure of myself. I thought I was cool, because I could put up pictures of Tobey skating and pass them as “extra curricular activity” posts. Well, my first day on the job in just trying to update the website, I managed to erase the homepage and left nothing but the template. I scrambled and felt pretty dumb. I managed to get up a note before the end of the period saying that the website was “currently down,” but I had managed to screw everything up on Day 1. My prayer is that that is not the case here.

I’m being dramatic, I apologize. I feel like the Lord has prepared me for this. No, I can say this with confidence… the Lord has prepared me for this. But in all my prior experience in education and working with kids, its been like similar but not this. Yeah, I’ve worked at a couple preschools, but I’ve never run one, much less in a foreign country. Yeah, I spent four years supervising tutoring, but I’ve never implemented ESL programs, much less in a foreign country. Yeah, I’ve got a degree in education, but I’ve never been responsible for 26 kids educational progress, much less in a foreign country. Yeah, I’ve been responsible with my personal finances, but doing payroll and bookkeeping for 26 TOA employees…hoo.

It easily adds to frustration in other areas, especially technology. I had all these dreams of how easy contact with the states will be once I’m here. Skype like crazy, Facebook up the wazoo and yada yada yada. I had the sweetest video to post on YouTube of me and the kids dancing in worship (it was so sweet!), but I can’t get the thing to load up and I can’t edit the videos from my camera on my computer because of a difference in files. Also I don’t know anything about networking, so I haven’t been able to get my laptop online at TOA so no Skype and no Facebook videos. I’m 23, this is my generation, I’m supposed to know everything about computers! Living with Josh and Cody for three years you’d think some of this stuff would have rubbed off. Nope.

Lydia is the most gracious program director that I could ask for. She is kind enough to walk in this with me and like me, she doesn’t know what to do exactly. To me, she’s the picture of strength and seems to have a grip on things. With me she told me that she’ll only give me what I can handle and if I say “tosha” she won’t give me any more. The problem is I don’t know how much I can handle, because this is all so new.

There are a couple things that I can fall back on. The Lord spoke a very simple truth to me last month as I was lying awake in bed at my parents’ house. I was worried about whether or not these programs for the kids will even be effective and if the kids would progress. He told me “the kids are already progressing.” Sam and Maggie were among the top students after finishing the Standard 1, Sifa was able to skip a grade to go into Form 1, Jerry is able to receive the special needs he needs at school, so is Awadhi (but that brings about its own difficulties at home). The kids are progressing. Hopefully anything that I do will just add to that.

The only thing that I can do is be faithful. That’s pretty much all we can ever do. I don’t claim to be God’s gift to education or fathering. I’m a 23 year old, inexperienced man without my credentials or too much in-class experience. But what I can do is be faithful. In my work, I can do it unto the Lord, I can be faithful. That’s where I gotta hang my hat and trust that His grace in all these things will be enough.

-------------------------------------------------

The Rundown: Language school was a good experience and I learned a lot. It is quite practical Swahili and I look forward to using it. Thursday night, we had a end of the course party and a New Zealand friend Tom and I played a bunch of pop songs on the guitar. It was fun. I’m so glad to be at TOA. This weekend has been good. Saturday, I got a fridge to keep my chapati frozen and peanut butter cold. I find that my staple in Tanzania switches from peanut butter and jelly to peanut butter and bananas, of which I have been throwing back like crazy the last couple days. After that, I was getting settled into my office. (Pictures of everything will be coming once I’m finished settling in). I’ll be honest, it feels pretty legit to have my own office. Sunday, we did an all worship service at ICC and my hands were raw from drumming at the end. Sunday afternoon, I hung out at TOA with the kids and played basketball with Ryan, Noe and some others at ISM at night. Monday was some intro with bookkeeping and education stuff at TOA and Noe and I played a little indoor soccer at ISM in the evening. He, Amanda and the kids are moving back to the states soon and they found a buyer for the house. He said that the new buyers are cool with me living in the back house though. The heat and the mosquitoes suck. Awadhi is at a boarding school Monday through Friday. I’m glad that he is able to learn sign language and advance his education. It hasn’t really hit me yet though that I’ll see all the kids everyday, except for him. He is such an outgoing and loving kid, his teachers said that he loved his first couple days last week and our staff said upon dropping him off that he was energetic in making new friends and fitting in. He’s such a great kid. Everything else is good. Please do pray for my programs and that the Lord would use me and his grace would abound. Pray that we’re able to fix the technical stuff and get my laptop online. Pray for help with the electric company, they are saying that we owe them over a million shillings or something crazy when we don’t owe them anything. Also, Rita (HWCM Director) was supposed to becoming out this month, but its not looking like we can afford it. Pray that she only not come if the Lord says “no” if its because of money, then pray that He opens that up and soon, because she would have already bought the tickets. Thanks for your prayers family. Check Facebook for some pictures that I put up recently of me and the kids.

Satisfaction

One of my favorite authors/speakers is Francis Chan and I’m about to do something that he often does in his books. Before you read another word of my blog, go and read Isaiah 55. I will wait for you.

…

Thoughts?

The Bible is the living Word of God. I don’t know if I’ve ever experienced that as much as I did tonight.

I’ve had a very busy day, running errands, hanging out with Corey, preparing some prayer raising letters and in the midst of all that I quickly found that I was going late into the night (thank you Tanzanian Peaberry coffee from Badger Brew) without yet spending my devotion with the Lord. In my busyness, I was feeling sad and anxious. I began to spend time in prayer as I was moving. With me leaving for Tanzania on Sunday, I again am feeling the whole sacrifice deal, so I pray that I would be able to feel some of the joy right off the bat despite my current condition. A little after 1 AM, I finish preparing for tomorrow’s trip to Minneapolis for supply getting and picking Donny and Melissa up from the airport. I go downstairs to spend sometime in the Word before going to sleep. Since being here I’ve read 1st and 2nd Samuel and now am in 1st Kings, enjoying the kingship of Solomon. However, rather than committing to my normal two chapters plus commentaries, I wanted an easy reading for the night so I decided to read a random passage from either the Writings or the Prophets. As I sit down, the Holy Spirit gives me the word “Satisfy.” “Okay,” I say “I will look up the word ‘satisfy’ in my concordance and go with the third time it is listed.” As I turn there the Holy Spirit gives me the number four. “Okay,” I say, “I will go with the fourth time it is used.” Doing that led me to Isaiah 55. I went on to read the Word of the Lord and found it at work in my life immediately.

Isaiah wrote this thousands of years ago. It was not written to Americans that are missionaries to Tanzania. It was written to Israelite exiles to Babylon. Yet every Word tonight was for me.

Guys, I don’t know what to feel or how I’m supposed to feel. I don’t feel prepared for Tanzania. I can’t fathom what moving or living in a foreign country is like. I’m not only in over my head, I have no idea if I will even be remotely effective. I don’t say this for a “woe is me” effect, but rather to convey that I am ambiguously overwhelmed, if that makes sense to you. But the Lord has spoken to me tonight and I hope that the message rings with you as well.

A couple weeks ago, the youth pastor at my parents church spoke and said something that didn’t sit well with me. He was mentioning how people will say things that sound biblical but really aren’t in the Bible at all. He specifically said how people say “God wants me to be happy” and how that is not in the Bible. That is true and it is indeed more important that we glorify Him, making Him happy. Yet there is more to it than that. Throughout the Bible we are called to delight ourselves in the Lord. The idea isn’t “this Lamborghini makes me happy and God wants me happy, so its okay.” The idea is “God is holy, loving, just and good, and I am stoked on that.” He is my satisfaction, my delight, my happiness, my joy. We are to be as MacArthur (I think it was him) says “Christian Hedonists.” This passage calls us to that.

I love how it starts and how aptly it applies (redundant to word it that way?). “Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; And you who have no money, come, buy and eat. Yes, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.” Since I am now a missionary and live solely off of what the church/God gives me, I have truly tasted this. I am making no money right now. I have bills, I need to eat and yet I don’t pay for any of it, I’m a conduit at best. In my distress, the Lord reminds me of His gracious unwarranted provision in my life.

And yet how many times do we find ourselves being those people from verse 2 who “spend money for what is not bread, and wages for what does not satisfy.” Think about that. Think about what you got last Christmas (2008). How much satisfaction does that pricy thing bring you now? Are you satisfied? This can be applied to be an analogy for what we put our effort into and find no satisfaction (think relationships, status, etc.) and yet don’t discredit the fact that this is a reference to money and we live in a consumer world and the church is often as bad as anyone. We spend our money on what doesn’t satisfy and we do it continually, meanwhile the peace and joy and blessings of the Lord are right there for free.

In verse 5 the Lord really spoke to me as well. Remember that I have no idea what I’m getting myself into. “Surely you shall call a nation you do not know.” Can I be candid with you? I love Tanzanians so much. They are some of the dearest people to me. Having said that, they are often strange to me and I them I’m sure. I don’t get them. They snap thumbs when you shake hands, they carry chickens on crammed public transit, many of them stare (and smell), and so many other things that are just a part of their naturally different culture. These aren’t negative things, but I don’t get them. And yet I am calling that nation. The next sentence is also speaking to me “nations who do not know you shall run to you.” I highly doubt that I will spend the rest of my life in Tanzania, and I highly doubt that is because I will spend my time after TZ in the states. The Lord has given me dreams and aspirations for other nations as well and that’s what I want. Lord willing, He’ll shine through and the other nations will come running.

Isaiah goes on to talk about the importance of repentance and the unfathomable nature of the Lord which are so important in finding true satisfaction. Going on to remind us that He is the Giver of the rain and the blessings.

Then prophesies that God’s “word shall go forth from (His) mouth; it shall not return to (Him) void, but it shall accomplish what (He) pleases.” If you know my story you know my story, you know the Word that the Lord gave me; “Go run an orphanage in Africa.” Here I am starting down that path and I still have no idea what that is going to look like. I’m excited sure, but how do I get from point A to point B? The only thing that I can hold on to is the Word that He gave me and trust that it will not return void but will accomplish what He pleases and prosper just as He sent it.

And lastly, before the Lord spoke to me I asked Him for joy right off the bat. This is what He replied: “You shall go out with joy, and be led out with peace.” Thank you Father.

Be satisfied. Be happy. Be delighted. Repent. Don’t spend your money or efforts on what doesn’t satisfy. Be blown away by the unfathomable God that wants to glorify you. Walk in His peace and joy.

Please pray for me as I leave Sunday to go get satisfied in Tanzania on the Word of the Lord…and the chapati of Tanzania.

Giving and Receiving

I felt that such a title and subject would be appropriate this time of the year. This season is all about giving, or so I’ve heard. I don’t know if you’ve heard it as well. I undoubtedly could spend this time harping on the fact that we celebrate Jesus’ birthday by spoiling one another in the name of “holiday cheer” but I feel like that’s been said…I know I’ve said it. Despite our economy and the more and more common church sermons on living and giving more simply, we don’t see too much of a difference in December. Come Sunday morning the kids are looking under the tree and not to the manger and the adults are more worried about the lights and appearance of the house then the Light that came to earth 2000 years ago. Oh wait, I said I wasn’t going to beat that drum. That’s right. Giving and receiving.

I’ve always felt an incredible amount of freedom that comes from giving and I‘ve felt that increase over the years. When I started to have an income from high school jobs, I knew that it was important to tithe, so I did. It wasn’t much and I didn’t really track it at all, but if the plate came by I’d throw something in. Aside from tithing to the church, most of my money went to myself. Music was my big thing. Every week after getting paid I would go and buy three CD’s from Aardvark Music in Paso. But yeah, I’d give too. If it were Christmas or a birthday, I’d buy a price appropriate gift for a family member, but I didn’t bowl anyone over and I doubt that most of those presents are still around. When I transferred to Vanguard, I had a designated 20% for the church. The rest was mine. Now as I read that, I’m kind of realizing that that’s not a lot. I’ve heard so many people boasting about 10% or whatever and its almost been played off as “He gave me His life and I give Him 10% of my income, we have an arrangement.” Honestly, I’ve dealt with pride on this issue (pride is probably my biggest downfall, Lord help me). I would hear people say that and think “boy, I’m such a great Christian, I give a little over 20% and they have more money than me and only give 10%”. It’s a messed up way of thinking, as if God sent His only begotten Son to be born in a stable and hang on a cross, but all He was concerned about was how much we give on Sunday. I think that it says more to the fact that we care a lot about money and that’s why we make such a big deal about how much we give.

Since then the Lord has brought me through different seasons of 30% and 50% and while that may be good, it all seems arbitrary to some extent, because no matter how much I give, He still takes care of me. Giving for me has been the most easing thing. When I give money or whatever of value, it is really living by faith and saying that this money has NOTHING to do with my sustenance. I’ve gotten so worked up at times thinking about how bills are going to get paid or how I’m going to afford stuff (like moving to Africa) and you know what? It always happens. The worry and stress is relieved as I give. Its like I think we sometimes forget who our Dad is. Do we really think that if we give money or an unexpected bill comes up, that God is just going to say “ah, bummer, I guess you’re up a creek” No. He doesn’t say that, He’ll take care of us. Now maybe He will use that to bring about correction in your life. “Whom the Lord loves He corrects.” (Proverbs 3:12) If you are at your house and reading this, look around the room and point to the thing that you need to survive. Nothing, really. Now point to the thing that if you were to fall on “tough” times you could sell to make up some of the difference. Just about everything. Sorry I didn’t mean to get on a tangent (it seems more and more inevitable with my blogs) On that note, not my money point but rather the tangent point, I realize more and more that I do enjoy having people read my blogs, but this seems like it is more for me, hence the length, just saying.

So this is what I really want to get to. It is a biblical principle that you reap what you sow. This isn’t my get rich quick scheme, but feel free to try it that way and see what happens. I have been in a time of harvest and I say that joyfully. It almost seems new to me, not because I haven’t harvested before, but rather because it is so refreshing. Whether I did it out of joy (the case at times) or out of religious tradition (the case at times) the money that I sowed into the church has began to come back to me. I’ve raised almost half my money for my first year of ministry (about $12000) and had so many other blessings. I know I shared stories in a previous blog “The Joys of Fundraising” but there are now more stories in addition to just how much support I’ve raised. I had one friend who the Lord prompted to give over $1000 to me personally to help me pay off my credit card, that was really amazing. Praise God for generous people like this friend. Oh, this next one is related to a previous giving story and shows that the Lord gives MORE than what is necessary. So last year after I read The Irresistible Revolution for the second time I felt inclined to sell my expensive things and give the money away to Christian para-church organizations both domestic and abroad. One of the things that I sold was my 4 GB iPod Nano. At the time that was my biggest sacrifice, because I was a bike commuter and that was my entertainment for at least an hour a day. But I sold it. Well, my friend gave me an early Christmas present last week. He told me not to open it til I got on the plane (probably because he knew I wouldn’t receive it unless it was forced on me). I got to my parents and forgot that the package was in my guitar case. A week later, I came across it and opened it and found HIS iPod Touch. I was blown away. He had told me he had lost it a few weeks prior and now it was mine. I’m listening to Phil on it right now, the Wickham not the Doctor. Praise God for generous people like this friend. These last two stories have made me realize that I’m not too great at receiving. It has been humbling and makes me squeamish. I almost don’t want to receive the gifts, because its too awkward, even though these are FRIENDS of mine. But looking at it biblically, I don’t want to reject what the Lord has given me and I don’t want to reject the blessing that will be returned on my friends. So I just get to sit back and let the love flow between everyone. It really is beautiful.

More and more I see the Lord’s hand in those things that I want and need. When the Lord had put it on my heart to live minimally, I went for it. No new shirts, CD’s or anything else. I decided to eat on $3 a day after I graduated from college. It was actually wonderful and I didn’t worry about the bills even though things were tight. I learned something in that time about “things.” There are physical things in this world that are good, enjoyable and can be used to God’s glory. As I really walked in not buying things, I began asking God for things and see if He’d provide. He’s a good Dad and He created everything there is and more. So I asked him for things. Since then here is a list of things I asked Him for and I’ve received from various places: a big djembe, a guitar, a dog (there are two at TOA), and a laptop. These are the most expensive things that I own and I didn’t pay a red penny for any of them. All of it is committed to the Lord’s glory and I trust that when its time for any of these things to break, the Lord will allow me to glorify Him in other ways.

Now I tell you confidently that you will reap what you sow. If you sow sparingly and ungratefully, you will reap in frustration and an insatiable dissatisfaction. But if you sow generously, you will reap the Lord’s plenty for your life. (2 Corinthians 9:6) To be honest, if you sow in money, you may reap in something different. I think the number one reason that much of my reaping recently has been monetarily is because I am moving to one of the top 10 most impoverished nations in the world and the Lord knows what I need (and what I want). Chances are you’re reading this from one of the most affluent nations in the world and the Lord knows what you really need and that very well could be something other than more money. Pray into that, He does have something for you in your giving. But the giving is on you. If you wait for Him to take it, it will be unnecessarily more difficult and you may miss what He really wants to do in your giving.

The Word of the Lord (x3)

2 Corinthians 9:7-8

So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance of every good work.

Luke 12:48

…For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.

Matthew 7:7;11

Ask and it will be given to you…If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!

Merry Christmas, family.

Risk

I can't live a domicile Christianity. That sounds so unappealing to me. I want to enjoy my life and enjoy Christ and enjoy the thrill of really following Him.

I was having a conversation over Chipotle yesterday with my pastor Darren. I always enjoy our conversations and yesterday's seemed especially poignant as I wrap up my time here in Long Beach (or California period for that matter). We were both reflecting on what the Lord's been doing in the last year since The Garden really took off, what He's doing in our church now and what the future is looking like and specifically what The Garden's future partnership with me in Tanzania is going to be like. I love dreaming with a coworker in the Harvest and Darren is up there as far dreaming workers go.

In speaking of our individual stories, one thing seems to stick out and is a recurrence when we speak with other people... our age. Darren is 25 and is a pastor to a quickly growing congregation in an internationally influential city where the diversity across socioeconomic, cultural and racial fronts is vast. I am 23 and in 6 weeks I am moving to a foreign country for a stay that can best be described as "long term indefinite" doing kingdom work that will affect not only the 27 kids at Treasures of Africa, but the nation of Tanzania as a whole. Now if I boast in anything let me boast in Christ resurrected and Him working through me by His Holy Spirit. I was a total punk in high school (and I still have my moments). I was a timid, tame and worldly Christian (is that even possible?) when I transferred to Vanguard. These great things now and on the horizon are only through His guidance and ordination and the work He's done to change my heart and my life is the biggest miracle I've experienced.

Having said all that, I can't tell you how excited I am for the road ahead of me. I think about those kids at TOA and I can't help but smile and be in awe that in all His goodness, the Lord was so gracious as to give me this position. If I've made one good decision in my life, it was taking this position. But such great joys do not come without great risk and sacrifice. I could spend a whole blog (and probably will at some point) talking about sacrifice and my experience, but today risk is on my heart.

I think that risk is inescapably attached to LIVING by faith. I think that it is possible (and often happens here in America) to have faith and be saved, but not live by faith. I was saved at the age of four with a saint named Margaret Glore who had a profound effect on my life. On that day, I professed my faith in the death and resurrection of Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit and confessed my need for Him to pardon my sins forever. (I don't think those were the exact words of four year old Brandon, but you get my eloquent drift). I don't think that it would surprise anyone for me to say that my life wasn't radically transformed. I wasn't some wicked heathen of a four year old, I was just a four year old with four year old sin. Now I was pretty much the same kid, only now with a basic understanding of who I am to God. I lived the majority of my life with faith, but how that enacted in my life was largely non-existent. I know kids in Tanzania that will lay hands on you and you'll be healed, they've cast out demons even. Not me, my sister Bobbie and I were a part of group called Club Ted when I was a kid and we really liked to do Valentines Day parties and put on plays for our parents, but no, no demon casting. And its not even all about the supernatural, that's only a facet of the larger picture. In junior high and high school, I didn't have an evangelistic bone in my body, or one for social justice, or one for the majority of the things exemplified the disciples' lives. Yes, I was saved, I had head knowledge and knew the Bible answers and stories, I even knew the moral code in the Bible (which I even followed sometimes), but LIVING by faith wasn't really there and the risk of following an awesome and holy God wasn't there either.

Unfortunately, I don't think that this is uncommon in American Christianity. (Sidenote: I am not trying to pick on American Christians, I am an American Christian, this is my culture and I can best speak out of my own experience.) In the messy union of Christianity, consumerism and American politics, we seem to miss the risk that marks those believers in the Bible. It is very easy to follow God here and that's pretty scary. People will say to me sometimes, "Wow, you're going to be a missionary in Tanzania? God bless you that will be hard." I agree, it is going to be hard, but in all honesty its the easier path for me to choose. I could stay in California and be a Children's Pastor and get married to a woman that loves the Lord and continue to fight those desires to be complacent and just give in and consume, consume, consume. But the Lord isn't calling me or anyone else to complacency and consumerism. The reason its easier for me to live out the Gospel in Tanzania, is because its going to force me to actually rely on Him and being complacent and or consumeristic isn't an option at all.

That's one of the most inspiring things to me about my brothers and sisters in Tanzania, they are LIVING by faith, they have to. Why would we need to have faith that the Lord will provide us our daily bread? We can go to the store and get all the food we need (and all the fun superfluous things we want). That's not an option for my family there. They have to risk going hungry, have faith in His provision and then rejoice when they see that their Heavenly Baba really does provide them their daily bread.

I am always encouraged by the stories of saints past. Two that jump to mind are George Muller and Brother Yun.

George Muller (a Hidden With Christ Ministries inspiration) was a German missionary to England. The Lord gave him congregations to pastor and while he was doing so, he was moved to no longer take pay from the church. Rather, he and his wife would pray that the Lord would provide what they need day to day. Reading his biography is amazingly monotonous as radical provision and answer to prayer come to mark his life. The churches weren't big enough though. The Lord then put it on his heart to do something about the orphans throughout the nation and as the ministry grew, not only he and his wife, but thousands of orphans were literally LIVING by faith. They would only pray that the Lord would provide the food, shelter and education for these kids and it would happen, time and time again. That's risk. I want to live a life like that. I want to live a life where if God doesn't show up and do something, I, and thousands of orphans, are up a creek without a paddle, royally screwed. That's LIVING by faith. And the thing is, you can tell from his story that it wasn't even mainly about the physical care of the orphans (social justice) it was about the glory of the Lord. He wanted to live an appealing life that pointed to the existence of a gracious Father in heaven.

Brother Yun is a pioneer of the modern underground house church movement in China. I'm still reading the book, but have already read stories where he is beaten up and nearly killed for the sake of the Gospel and had it not been for the miraculous intervention of the Lord he'd be dead a long time ago. My favorite part is when he meets is his wife.

The first time Deling and I met I told her, "God has chosen me to be his witness and to follow him through great hardships and the way of the cross. I don't have any money and am always being pursued by the authorities. Do you really want to marry me?"
She answered, "Don't worry, I will never let you down. I will join with you and together we'll serve the Lord."

I need a wife like that!!! Holy love, that blows me a way. That's risk. That's LIVING by faith.

So, enough about the daunting part. There's a tremendous amount of joy that far outweighs any hardship or risk. I was speaking with my friend Megan after church on Sunday and the term "bitter-sweet" came up. "Leaving Long Beach is bitter-sweet". You know, that's the thing though, its more sweet than it is bitter and I think that's how it is supposed to be in the Kingdom. I love California and it is going to be very hard to leave, the "bitter" part if you will. But if my missing the people stateside is any indication of the sweetness of following the Lord in Tanzania, where He's called me, I am in for the most beautiful adventure ever. And I have only scratched the surface. If I (or anyone) continue to choose to follow the Lord and get through the bitter part and experience the sweet, we are going to have some amazing testimonies of the Lord when we are sweet old people (as opposed to bitter old people).

I like risk. Its exciting.

I am risking my finances and what people think of me as monetarily wise (or in Christian terms how I steward). Yeah, I have a degree from Vanguard and that cost me some loans, but people can just watch as I not only raise all the money for my missionary work but the Lord WILL pay off every single loan, and it will be soon. He is faithful. He is already taking care of my finances. I have to raise about $25,000 for a year on the field. My launch number is $7,500 to get out of the states. As of last week, I've already reached that. I've raised more in the last three and a half months then I did the previous two summers going to Tanzania. Its far from over of course, that's only 30% of what I need and monthly sponsors are the biggest need now. [Pause for fundraising ad]

If you would like to help Brandon Stiver father Tanzanian orphans you can donate at www.treasuresofafrica.org/staff/brandon_s.htm

[Back to our regular scheduled blog]

I am risking making a grip load of mistakes. I am a naive 23 year old. Darren is only 25 (but sweet mercy he walks in anointing). Our new children's director Alex is only 21 (But I'm gladly throwing her in the deep end). Like them, I'm in way over my head and I risk failing. My fear would be that the kids won't respond to the programs and my work there is voided by failure. But I want to be in over my head, that way because I can't do it the Lord will do it. I have to rely on Him and have faith that I will positively affect these kids' lives and their education.

What I'm about to say next is very contrary to American Christian life. But I have every intent on living a type of Christian life that is set on the cross. What I mean by that, is that I intend to suffer and die for the cause. I will live and I will die for the Lord. Being in Tanzania gives me more of an opportunity to do that, but I don't know where I'll be buried. I think about the great saints of old and I would love to count myself among the "blessed are the persecuted" crowd. You often hear people say "I would die for the Gospel" but how many times IN the United States would you get that opportunity. I would like to at least have the opportunity to do so. I'm not going to be the person that says "Dying is the easy part, living for the Gospel is the hard part." Yeah, maybe that's true, but you gotta admit, dying would be pretty hard. And if I risk my life for the sake of the Kingdom, I can only imagine what the sweetness of my reward in Heaven would be.

Risk it. The most you could lose is your life and the gain in life or death is of infinite worth.



...boy, long blogs are so cathartic.

The Joys of Fundraising

Well I am about halfway through my time in the states before heading back to Tanzania. It has been a sometimes easy, sometimes difficult, sometimes joyful, sometimes sorrowful, but always always blessed time. I have so much enjoyed being a part of the Long Beach community especially those people at The Garden that the Lord has graciously given to me as brothers and sisters. I have also been so blessed to resume my relationships with my family in Irvine at Pacific Pointe and other friends throughout Orange County.

A question that keeps coming up is... how's fundraising going? Fundraising always seemed to be the drawback to missions. You have all these aspirations of how God will use you and then as you do the work you get stories of how God came through and you share them with others, BUT you have to fundraise. You get to impart knowledge and education to the kids, "Alright!" And you get to worship with the Masai, "Yes!" And you can be baba to all these wonderful children and live an exciting life before God, "Amen!" But you have to raise $25,000 for a year of ministry "Oh." But fundraising has been more than just "oh" and its turning into "Oh Wow! God is so good!" So I wanted to take a moment and testify of just how this tough season financially has showed the mighty hand of God and His faithfulness to me in all things He's called me to. All glory to Him in any good thing I say here. I wanted to share a few stories...

I hit the ground running in August and quickly got the word out of my new position and the money that I'll be needing to be with my family at Treasures of Africa and throughout Moshi. I got pumped up by reading the Autobiography of George Muller and was ready to see the miracles and radical answers to prayer. I was sending out letters by the dozens, contacting newspapers and radio stations, abusing Face Book in biblical proportions and telling everyone that would give me thirty seconds about what I was undertaking by God's grace. After I had done the majority of my letters, I asked Rita at Hidden With Christ for my update and a couple days later, I got a report from the office saying that I had raised like $230 or something. Essentially I had raised less than 1% of what I need. A tough pill to swallow considering all my toil. I then went six weeks or so without an update from HWCM.

In my new home on Signal Hill, I live on the second floor and from my patio I can see to Seal Beach and all the way up the coast to northwest Long Beach. I can see Belmont Shore, the big buildings in downtown Long Beach and everything in between. Something that I've gotten into the habit of doing is saying to myself "My Dad owns all of that" and remind myself that if not one person supported me, He would take care of me and bring His good plans to pass in accordance with His riches in Heaven, because He is always always faithful. It helps keep my head on when things don't look good.

Then a few weeks ago I set aside a week to fast and pray for three big things in my life. One of them was of course fundraising and finances in general. I don't know of your experience, but mine has been that when you set aside a period of time to fast, that guaranteed will be the time that you are presented with bomb food for free. Well, by God's grace I got through the week and after giving me a dream, He had me end it and He told me to spend the final day celebrating as He would be moving me into a time of harvest in all the areas of my life that I'd been praying for. Pretty satisfying way to end the fast.

Well, the harvest started the next day. In regards to finances, the following day my pastor and friend at The Garden, Darren, called me and told me that as the church is progressing they would like to hire me to run children's ministry at the Garden (an answer to another thing I was fasting for as well, because I was seeking the Lord to give me more direction in Long Beach). That same day, I finished my drudging time with paper work in getting my retirement money from my previous job and they expedited it so that I would get it sooner (which I have now).

From that point though, the harvest looked a little different as I continued to struggle in personal finances (even though in all truth the Lord has provided and has not forsaken me a single moment, despite my stress) and I again came to a time of high stress, being drained and needing refreshment. Right at that time, the Lord opened up an opportunity for me to head up to my hometown of Paso Robles. My family at First Baptist was so gracious with me. They gave me the chance to speak at the Youth Group and I had an amazing time telling the high schoolers my story and how the Lord has been at work. I encouraged them with the story of Abraham which has played a significant role in my life. The following day, I got to meet with the elders of the church and share my story. That too was a blessed time and I was very encouraged by those that were in the meeting. They prayed for me and also gave me a generous starting sum of money with continued prospects of future partnership.

As I was heading out of Paso Robles, I was able to pick up the Tribune, which is a paper that is distributed throughout San Luis Obispo county (this was the fourth paper I've been in on the central coast), and found my story on the front page of the Local section with a big picture of me and Awadhi. It was a blessing to read and I'm glad that AnnMarie (the reporter) helped me out. It was funny during the interview, she asked me what I would pack to come to Tanzania and I told her I didn't know, but probably not too much. Clothes, pictures, not too much. As an aside I told her that I live minimally and didn't even own my own laptop since mine was stolen in college four years ago. Well for whatever reason, she decided to make that particular item a part of the article. Then on Thursday a lady that works for a San Luis law firm contacted me via Face Book and told me that one of their clients was touched by the story and thought that since I'll be Education Director, I should probably have a laptop, so he decided that he would like to bless me with that. Isn't that amazing! I had been planning on squeezing a few dollars together to just get the cheapest netbook possible, but now its all taken care of and its on its way to my house. Out of the humility of this man's heart, he decided to not tell me his name, so as far as I know it could've been the Lord Himself. Whoever it was, praise God from whom all blessings flow!

These are just a few of the stories. There have been plenty more. I have a friend who by his own accord decided to let me borrow his truck three days a week, which helps so much for work and getting around for fundraising opportunities. I have another friend who on top of supporting me for TOA, loaned some money to me, when I paid her back out of the goodness of her heart she tore up the check and allowed me to have the money for good. I have an elderly couple up in Paso who have been out of work for two years but were still moved to donate what little they could. I've got a boy at FBC collecting recycling and giving the money to me and a friend from Rock Harbor that is giving a portion of her art proceeds to support me. I've had people give that I don't even know or hardly know. And yeah, I've had friends who won't so much as join a Face Book cause or respond in any way and at times it gets discouraging but above all these things, good and bad, is my Heavenly Father who is taking care of me and will continue to do so.

So how is fundraising going? Well, that's how its going. Logistically, I've raised about half ($3,700) of my launch number which is $7,500 and that is about 15% of my year total goal of $25,000. I am trusting that the Lord will take care of the rest of the years support as well as personal finances in all respects. Please believe alongside me! If you feel so inclined, check out www.treasuresofafrica.org/staff/brandon_s.htm for both my bio and my donation link. Also, if you have any questions, comments, encouragements, or words from the Lord please share them with me. Above all, PRAY!!! Thank you so much for those that have prayed, those that have given and those that took the time to read this ultra long blog. I bless you in the name of the Lord.

To The Glory of Jesus,

Brandon