Reality

This summer New Life Foundation had a New Zealand team come to serve in Moshi. Since we were also serving with NLF, our paths crossed a little while they were here. They were kind, but a little quirky. The leader was speaking during the morning devotional one day and he asked a somewhat rhetorical question. As he paused for the implied answer, he then burst out and said “Jesus is always the answer!” I smirked, then leaned over to Ann and asked her what one plus one is.

I know Jesus is the answer. I just don’t understand reality at times. There are transcendent truths that I know. God is good. God is holy. God is love. God is gracious. God is unfathomable. And so on. But I don’t always get life or why things happen like they do. All the truth about reality that has ever existed from 1+1 to awe-inspiring beauty to the heavenly truths that are too lofty for humans to comprehend are all within one God as three Persons. I even know apologetically, the problem of evil and so on. I know this. I live this and these truths effect me beyond putting the words on paper. Yet, life is a little more tricky than a theology course.

This month marks two years since I started sponsoring Awadhi. Along with my monthly financial sponsorship, came my prayers. I have positively affected Awadhi’s life with my prayers. One year is 365 days, two years makes 730, I have prayed and do pray for him every morning and every night since I started sponsoring him. This isn’t including other prayers, but lets go with the minimum here. I have prayed for the same person, a five year old Tanzanian orphan, over 1400 times. I don’t say this to boast, this is God’s plan and there is nothing more important that I do in a day than pray for Awadhi and there is nothing I enjoy more either. The first time I did a week long fast, I was solely focused on praying for him and his healing. The second week long fast, Clesi and I prayed for many things and people, none more important to me than Awadhi. I count sister Clesi among my closest spiritual advisors and it was at the end of that fast as we were driving home (after punishing/rewarding ourselves with Chipotle) that she shared with me a word of knowledge and a change in direction for Awadhi. She told me that the Lord had heard our prayers and seen our fasting and He would now be healing Awadhi from the inside out. I would fast for much longer just to get those words that He so graciously spoke through my dear friend. Tears came to my eyes in light of God’s grace. Awadhi is important to me. His healing is important to me.

Now I live here. Its wonderful. Its exactly where I want to be and I am so excited that I don’t have to leave anytime soon. And yet, there is some frustration here. I do trust in the Lord’s timing, but we are getting close to a critical point for Awadhi. Friday as I returned to Moshi for the weekend, I walked to TOA to get my piki and say hi to the kids briefly. I was greeted at the carport by Lydia and Jodie. They had had themselves a day and a half. Things in Tanzania are different. I don’t say this in the cute way, or it’s just a difference in culture. There are some messed up things that go on here and a lot of the reason people suffer here, like anywhere else, is because of their own sin.^[i] Lydia had been dealing with a very mean Tanzanian woman who was threatening to turn off our electricity for no reason. Also, we are trying to figure out Awadhi’s education plan and stuff for that had come up, because hearing aids are up in the air and its hard to get him in places because he is HIV+. I stood there and listened to Lydia, who is an amazingly strong woman in the Lord, tell me that with Anjela passing and the chance of having to send Awadhi to a boarding school for education, she fears she is doing something wrong as the director. I told her that that was not it, but I couldn’t tell her why this is happening. I don’t get this reality.

Furthermore, it is a tough pill for me to swallow to think that after all my time in the states and all that the Lord did to bring me here, and the significant role that my son played, for me to get here and then for Awadhi’s best option to learn is for him to go off to boarding school. So no longer would it be, I see him everyday, but rather I see him every weekend at best. That sucks. When Lyd told me last month about Awadhi’s education, the thing that I’ve kept praying is “Please, Lord, allow another way than having to send him off.” And now I don’t know. I don’t get this reality and I continue to pray that with the coming events of the week, the Lord provides another way.

I woke up Saturday morning, I was at peace and also prayerful because of the things that were on my heart. I had another confusing dream the night before (I’ve had like four on the same issue this week) and also I was thinking about Awadhi and I prayed that when I got there today that the moment I touched him, that it would bring about his healing finally. That didn’t happen.

I’ll tell you what did happen though. The kids, me, Lydia, Jodie and a few of the caregivers went to the banda and worshiped this afternoon. We rejoiced and sang. The two year olds led some, the older kids led some and we all worshiped and laughed and played before the Lord, including Awadhi. That boy wants to talk, he wants to sing. Anapiga kelele. He shouts. He makes noise. The kids get in a line and do their dance and he gets right in there with them. And while he may have faint hearing, he can’t hear his own laugh or his father’s voice.

Faith is the currency of life here. Just because its been over 1400 prayers, many days of fasting, thousands of miles traveled, 56 hours so far at language school and countless hugs and kisses, laughs and tears and he still hasn’t been healed, I will still pray. We will still pray. We don’t lose hope. We pray and hope that the higher reality, where sickness doesn’t exist, will come down to this world and touch him. We take in faith what has been spoken over Awadhi. Until then, we rejoice, we praise, we will dance upon the injustice and look forward to the good report of God’s hand nailing all his sickness to the cross and the resurrection of Awadhi’s blood and hearing.

^[i]I am more than aware of the beauty of this place as well (I moved here for crying out loud!) I love this country and the people in it. Some of the most wonderful people and believers I know are Tanzanian. I just get frustrated at times, when people get so wrapped up in “Africa” and “Africans” and don’t acknowledge that SIN is a humongous problem here and its not only Joseph Kony. Yes, we are African, we dance and rejoice in worship, but we also struggle with holiness and some Africans are very mean. Hey, I used a footnote. Is that allowed in blogging?

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The Rundown: Two weeks of language school are in the can and I look forward to life in Moshi as opposed to Usa River, which will happen after one more week. Language school has been good, but it wears me out. I love talking and being friends with non-believers, but this time at language school is the first time that I don’t have fellowship with believers to go with my non-believer relationships. That can be taxing because its like no one gets close to knowing who I am deep down. At any rate, I do like the people I am studying with and I had a really good conversation with Stefano the other day and I was able to witness some. I am in Moshi right now. I had dinner Friday night at the Helblings, which is so great. I love that family. Saturday, I was getting settled into life at TOA some and also spending time with the kids and everyone else. I am very much enjoying my mode of transportation around which is the pikipiki (a motorized scooter). All the kids are good and we had fun playing. Although I may have over done it with my elbow. It still hasn’t healed all the way from when I hurt it on New Year’s Day! This morning, I went to ICC again and I am continuing to walk in church life in Moshi as opposed to just visiting churches as it was when I was only here on short term trips. Last week, I was unexpectedly asked to bless the congregation with the final prayer of the service and this week I was unexpectedly asked to help lead worship on the ashika right before service started. Its all good. Thats church here and I like the spontaneity. Still no Facebook and its adding to my frustration. I don’t want to start over with a new profile, but if I don’t hear back from them in the next week, I’ll probably just make a new one even if it complicates restoring my old one. Please do email me though, I check it consistently. I guess that’s life right now. Thanks for all your prayers, family!

Stillness

I have been busy this week. Too busy.

When I was in Long Beach, I instituted something in my life that was imperative to my life. I was hanging out at Thursday night Life Group with the Modern Loving Family and we were talking about prayer. We talked about the need to spend time in prayer and devotion everyday and of people that make a point to spend a hour a day. At the time I was faithful to my nightly devotional and it was maybe 20-30 minutes a night. Although after that Life Group, I decided that it would benefit me and glorify God to set aside one hour everyday to spend quality time with the Lord. I was indeed busy with church stuff, but my schedule allowed me to wake up and spend time out on the terrace with just my chair and my Bible. It had become a rhythm of life.

I had so much time on my hands while I was in Wisconsin and while I did spend time with the Lord daily, I got lazy and didn’t discipline myself to spend that specific hour. Because of my laziness there, my specific hour a day no longer was a rhythm in my life. This last week has been go go go and so much has happened, so much except that hour a day. Now, I find myself with no clarity of thought and I’m quite confused and unable to focus. Even last night, I was going to blog and started off going down one train of thought and then stopped and said no I’ll go with this angle and then got frustrated with that and stopped writing altogether. When I would have my hour a day (which is sometimes longer and sometimes divided between two times) the time is spent 20-25 minutes in silence and free prayer, 20-25 minutes in the Word and 20-25 minutes in directed prayer. Because I’ve cut back on all these areas, especially the first, I find myself a bit of a mess. Because I haven’t spent time in silence and allowing my brain time to think and pray my thoughts, I’m confused. Because I’m not reading as much in the Bible, I’m not meditating on His Word and growing in knowledge. And because I’m not having my directed prayer, I feel guilty because I know that I’m not praying for others as much as I should be. This is no way to start missionary work.

Last night I had a dream. A very confusing dream. It is the only thing that I can think of that is too personal for me to discuss in a blog, but we’ll say that it has been something very important to me for over four years now. I woke up so frustrated and so confused. This is something that I prayed for countless times and the Lord apparently said “no.” I have tried to forget it and get on with life, and thought that it was a done deal, then out of the blue it pops up again and since I haven’t been spending as much time with Him, I wasn’t prepared and it was hard and uncomfortable. I should have and need to be in this blessed communion. If I’m not spending quality time with Him, I’m at best a confused, disoriented mess of a man and at worse living in sin.

Here I am in flippin’ Africa, living out a promise that He spoke two and a half years ago and I’m not even spending time with Him here like I should.

So what is it that has me so preoccupied? Everything. For one, jet lag. Also, spending about seven hours a day learning a new language, practicing guitar, sleeping, moving into my new house, going to the airport and picking up my luggage, going to church, catching up with friends in Moshi, speaking and eating with new friends at language school, emailing and trying to resolve this identity theft thing and all the normal daily activities that everyone does. Make no mistake about it, I am quite busy and all of it is necessary for me to be doing right now. Yet I look at that and can’t say “okay, that activity is definitely more important than spending time in devotion.” There is nothing more important to do daily. And this is what I can’t get about my life, or anyone else’s, we have to pencil in solitude time with the Lord. Its always frustrated me hearing people saying “I don’t have time for devotion” or “I only have 15 minutes free a day.” And while I didn’t say it myself, for the last month, I’ve been doing worse than that, I’ve been living it. Take this as my confession to the brethren.

Last time I checked, if we are Christians and our main purpose is glorifying the Lord and advancing His Kingdom here on earth, then how is it logical that we only spend, at best, 15 minutes (out of a possible 1440) with the Chief, the King, our Father, our Savior everyday? I hear people say and justify myself at times with the same notion, “I talk to God throughout the day, driving, eating, hanging out with friends, working, whatever, so I don’t need a daily devotional.” If you are doing that, that’s good. 1 Thessalonians 5:16 says to “pray without ceasing” and we should do that. But Psalm 46:10 says to “be still and know that I am God.” How can we be moving towards full knowledge of God and hearing His thoughts on our life if we’re not also spending time being still before Him? The two are not at all mutually exclusive, but rather are the markers of a healthy prayer life.

How we spend our time is how we spend our lives. How we spend our lives is what will be the second judgment for Christians after we enter eternity. How we live our lives shows what we count as important. Anna showed God she thought talking to Him was important and served Him by spending 84 years in fasting and prayer in the temple (Luke 2). That’s righteous. I don’t know what the Lord is calling you to, I am not even sure what He’s calling me to, to spend in daily devotion, but I imagine that if it’s the same God that Anna served, its probably more than 15 minutes a day.

Don’t get me wrong, if you give Him 15 minutes He’ll use it. But I want more of Him, that’s important to me, and I know that so much of that will come from waiting on Him and spending quality time with Him.

So today, I spent quality time with the Lord and I feel at peace. He didn’t boom with a loud voice, but He spoke and I was still. I was able to slow down and meditate on what it means to be serving Him in Tanzania as I watched wild monkeys jump around in the trees overhead. I was able to speak honestly about the dream and my confused thoughts became a sacrifice lifted up. I was able to smile and thank God that He has me working here with these blessed children. It was what it should be. It was beautiful.

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Welcome to a new segment of my blogs that I call “The Rundown,” as in “Hey Jim, could you get me a rundown?” (The Office reference, anyone?). During this segment, I will give the 411 on what I’ve been up to physically. I feel that the most important part of my life is what the Lord is teaching and doing in me spiritually and how that relates physically and that’s what the bulky first section will be. But along with that are physical things that won’t get put above the dashed line, so I’ll put them down here. So let’s just pretend that I didn’t do the dashed line yet and when I do it again, you just know what I’m doing.

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The Rundown: Language school has been going well. It is so much information but a lot of it is sticking. I really enjoy learning new languages and none more than Swahili. Anybody want me to translate something for them? I enjoy the people that are in my class and we have fun. There is one other American (from Ohio) and his name is Brendan. Because mwalimu Gouden (teacher Gouden) can’t really pronounce the difference well, we are Brandan kwanza na Brandan pili (First Brandan and second Brandan). There is an Italian man named Stefano, a Scottish man named David and a German woman named Daniela. Walimu jina lao Mama Gouden na Mama Frida. In free time I’ve been studying, playing a lot of guitar and taking advantage of the above average Tanzanian food they have here. This weekend, I went to Moshi. (Man, as I write this I feel like I’m supposed to be writing in Swahili). I took the coaster which is always an adventure. Lydia picked me up and we went to TOA so that I could see the kids and they were all excited to see me. Awadhi had just got out of the shower and was wrapped in a towel soaking wet when I first saw him, when he saw me he was surprised and smiled. I went up to him and gave him a big hug and got a wet mouth giving him kisses. I love him. After that I went to my new home and met the missionary family, whose back house I am living in. They are from Maryland and their names are Noe and Amanda. They have three Ethiopian adopted children named Moses, Noah and Laylo. They are really cool and we get along well. Saturday morning, I went over and visited with Ryan, Stacy and the kids then I spent time at the orphanage and got my bed set up at the house (its really comfortable). The last two of my three bags came in, so Lydia, Jodie and I went to get them at the airport. I went into get them and was happy to see that they were never opened along the way. The guy at the desk was nice, but told me that I had to go get them looked in at Customs. When he called the agent, who should come out, but the same guy that tried to have me “tip” him for taking my guitar over this summer. The most expensive thing I had in the box was my big djembe Jonah, but I purposely put him towards the bottom of the bigger tub. The customs agent must have been being lazy, because he didn’t go that deep and didn’t find anything worth bribing me for. So praise God. Having all my bags helped me as I unpacked more Saturday night. Sunday, I went to church with Stacy and the kids to ICC and saw some of the Fountain of Hope kids that I know. After service I went out to eat with some of the local missionaries, all of which were female. I feel like I’m a Liberal Studies major all over again. Then I went home, packed for the week and then drove my piki piki to TOA to drop it off and see the kids before heading back to Usa River. And oh yeah, my identity was stolen this week. That was fun. I’ve been praying that no one in my email contacts sent any money to England and I laughed at seeing what an awful job the guy did impersonating me. At any rate, I am happy to have gmail now and I am in talks with Facebook and it looks like I should get my profile back soon. All is well. Hamna shida. Life is good. God is good.

My Facebook and Email Have Been Jacked!!!

Praise the Lord, my blogger account hasn't been. Not an entire day has gone by yet and I've already had both of my most important internet accounts stolen and the passwords changed. Oh well, what are you gonna do? Oh, I know what I'll do... I'll switch to gmail and pray that the Facebook team can retrieve my account. And what you should do is not send money to England, because I'm not there. Please also spread the word to people that we know mutually because I had over 200 email contacts and I don't want anyone to send money to the hacker. Pray the Lord leads him to forgiveness and foils his wicked plan of theft. So if you are reading this and you are my friend, please send an email to bmstiver@gmail.com so I have your contact in my new address book. Also, send me the emails of people you know that I know, so that I can add them as well. I'm in Tanzania and out of touch because of this, so please help!!! Since working at The Garden, which uses gmail for work accounts, I've been looking for a reason to switch so I suppose this will suffice. Thanks for your prayers family! Amani, Upendo na Neema, The REAL Brandon Stiver

Greener Pastures

I have no words for what I am feeling right now. I have no category for the things that are happening and the emotions that are attached to them.

I am in Tanzania, not just visiting like in the past.

I live in Tanzania.

There are so many stories that I would normally love to share at this time and I will give you a brief rundown momentarily. But I find myself at a loss for words and only one thing is worthy enough to put in my first post from Tanzania.

My heart is so heavy right now. I arrived in Kilimanjaro and was in the baggage claim office, because all three of my checked bags had been lost in transit. I look out and see Ryan poking his head through the door. I go over to greet him and explain the situation. Moments later, I go out and see Pastor Mbasha as well. As happy as I was to see my two dear friends, I was a little puzzled, because Lydia was supposed to pick me up. Ryan told me she was on her way. I went back into the office and made an arrangement with the customs agent and when I came back out, Lydia and Jodie were there. We exchanged greetings and spoke a few logistics, before I take off for language school. I remembered that I needed to exchange money, so I ran over the exchange bureau. As I was over there I remembered some other money that was in my carry-on and went to grab it. As I was grabbing it, I heard Jodie ask Lydia if I knew about Anjie and in passing I said I know she is sick. I went back over to the exchange desk and Lydia followed me over. She began to tell me why her and Jodie were late. She told me that our four year old Treasure, Anjela, died on Sunday while I was in transit and out of touch. They were at her funeral. I don’t have words for this.

I am so glad that Anjel is with Jesus. I posted earlier, but it was deleted on accident, instead of re-doing it right away, I went back to my room and spent time in prayer and worship. Anjela is before my face and she’s so happy. She died of complications with pneumonia, largely due to her being HIV+ and having cerebral palsy. She WAS blind. But now her eyes are on her Creator and He loves far more than any of us ever could.

I was in Mexico early 2008 doing training for my first trip to Tanzania. As we were spending time in worship and prayer, the Lord began to speak to me. He was speaking to me about children that die. I had already started sponsoring Awadhi by this point and the fact that he is HIV+ was pounding in my head. Loving him this way is inherently more risky when sickness is in the mix. The time around the fire ended and people went about their business, but I couldn’t. I was distraught I went out to the road and was pacing back and forth under a streetlight as the Lord began bringing to mind the names of children I was close to and asking a question. What about him? What about her? I made a decision that night that I would rather hold my own child as they die, if it meant that they didn’t die without a dad. And now here I am day 1 in Tanzania and one of our little girls passed away.

Anjela was wonderful and so very loved. She died being loved. She wasn’t discarded as a baby, when she was found to be diseased and deformed. The doctor didn’t give her a week when we got her at 2 ½ and she lived to see her fourth birthday. She was loved and nurtured by the family of the Lord at TOA until the day that the Lord decided to take her home. And now she is with Him. In pastures far greener and more beautiful. She is running, she is dancing and seeing her Father face to face. For this we give praise.

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I hate to change gears, but I know that you are wondering so here is the what else been going on. Saying goodbye to my folks on Sunday was very hard, but their support is tremendous. It served as the “splash” of the whole getting in over my head. I had some good conversations along the way, a Norweigen fourth grader named Diane, spoke of God and things with a 18-year old Serbian woman named Jovana, and was fast friends with a Muslim man named Ibraham. The Lord showed His deliverance while I was in London. I spent Monday going around and managed to get lost, but still made it back to Heathrow with plenty of time only to find complications with the tickets and visas. Long story short, to be perfectly honest, had it not been for the Lord, I wouldn’t even be here yet. Landing in Kilimanjaro went well, except that all three of my checked bags from Minneapolis are MIA. Hopefully I’ll get them within the next couple days. The facility at language school is very nice and the people are kind and agreeable. I already have homework, which I should be working on right now. There are monkeys that run around the property and its fun to watch them. I will be heading to Moshi on Friday to start settling into my new house and see the Treasures. I can hardly wait. I will then return to language school on Monday and do it again the next weekend. Please pray for the Treasures, my Moshi family and myself. I love you all.

Satisfaction

One of my favorite authors/speakers is Francis Chan and I’m about to do something that he often does in his books. Before you read another word of my blog, go and read Isaiah 55. I will wait for you.

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Thoughts?

The Bible is the living Word of God. I don’t know if I’ve ever experienced that as much as I did tonight.

I’ve had a very busy day, running errands, hanging out with Corey, preparing some prayer raising letters and in the midst of all that I quickly found that I was going late into the night (thank you Tanzanian Peaberry coffee from Badger Brew) without yet spending my devotion with the Lord. In my busyness, I was feeling sad and anxious. I began to spend time in prayer as I was moving. With me leaving for Tanzania on Sunday, I again am feeling the whole sacrifice deal, so I pray that I would be able to feel some of the joy right off the bat despite my current condition. A little after 1 AM, I finish preparing for tomorrow’s trip to Minneapolis for supply getting and picking Donny and Melissa up from the airport. I go downstairs to spend sometime in the Word before going to sleep. Since being here I’ve read 1st and 2nd Samuel and now am in 1st Kings, enjoying the kingship of Solomon. However, rather than committing to my normal two chapters plus commentaries, I wanted an easy reading for the night so I decided to read a random passage from either the Writings or the Prophets. As I sit down, the Holy Spirit gives me the word “Satisfy.” “Okay,” I say “I will look up the word ‘satisfy’ in my concordance and go with the third time it is listed.” As I turn there the Holy Spirit gives me the number four. “Okay,” I say, “I will go with the fourth time it is used.” Doing that led me to Isaiah 55. I went on to read the Word of the Lord and found it at work in my life immediately.

Isaiah wrote this thousands of years ago. It was not written to Americans that are missionaries to Tanzania. It was written to Israelite exiles to Babylon. Yet every Word tonight was for me.

Guys, I don’t know what to feel or how I’m supposed to feel. I don’t feel prepared for Tanzania. I can’t fathom what moving or living in a foreign country is like. I’m not only in over my head, I have no idea if I will even be remotely effective. I don’t say this for a “woe is me” effect, but rather to convey that I am ambiguously overwhelmed, if that makes sense to you. But the Lord has spoken to me tonight and I hope that the message rings with you as well.

A couple weeks ago, the youth pastor at my parents church spoke and said something that didn’t sit well with me. He was mentioning how people will say things that sound biblical but really aren’t in the Bible at all. He specifically said how people say “God wants me to be happy” and how that is not in the Bible. That is true and it is indeed more important that we glorify Him, making Him happy. Yet there is more to it than that. Throughout the Bible we are called to delight ourselves in the Lord. The idea isn’t “this Lamborghini makes me happy and God wants me happy, so its okay.” The idea is “God is holy, loving, just and good, and I am stoked on that.” He is my satisfaction, my delight, my happiness, my joy. We are to be as MacArthur (I think it was him) says “Christian Hedonists.” This passage calls us to that.

I love how it starts and how aptly it applies (redundant to word it that way?). “Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; And you who have no money, come, buy and eat. Yes, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.” Since I am now a missionary and live solely off of what the church/God gives me, I have truly tasted this. I am making no money right now. I have bills, I need to eat and yet I don’t pay for any of it, I’m a conduit at best. In my distress, the Lord reminds me of His gracious unwarranted provision in my life.

And yet how many times do we find ourselves being those people from verse 2 who “spend money for what is not bread, and wages for what does not satisfy.” Think about that. Think about what you got last Christmas (2008). How much satisfaction does that pricy thing bring you now? Are you satisfied? This can be applied to be an analogy for what we put our effort into and find no satisfaction (think relationships, status, etc.) and yet don’t discredit the fact that this is a reference to money and we live in a consumer world and the church is often as bad as anyone. We spend our money on what doesn’t satisfy and we do it continually, meanwhile the peace and joy and blessings of the Lord are right there for free.

In verse 5 the Lord really spoke to me as well. Remember that I have no idea what I’m getting myself into. “Surely you shall call a nation you do not know.” Can I be candid with you? I love Tanzanians so much. They are some of the dearest people to me. Having said that, they are often strange to me and I them I’m sure. I don’t get them. They snap thumbs when you shake hands, they carry chickens on crammed public transit, many of them stare (and smell), and so many other things that are just a part of their naturally different culture. These aren’t negative things, but I don’t get them. And yet I am calling that nation. The next sentence is also speaking to me “nations who do not know you shall run to you.” I highly doubt that I will spend the rest of my life in Tanzania, and I highly doubt that is because I will spend my time after TZ in the states. The Lord has given me dreams and aspirations for other nations as well and that’s what I want. Lord willing, He’ll shine through and the other nations will come running.

Isaiah goes on to talk about the importance of repentance and the unfathomable nature of the Lord which are so important in finding true satisfaction. Going on to remind us that He is the Giver of the rain and the blessings.

Then prophesies that God’s “word shall go forth from (His) mouth; it shall not return to (Him) void, but it shall accomplish what (He) pleases.” If you know my story you know my story, you know the Word that the Lord gave me; “Go run an orphanage in Africa.” Here I am starting down that path and I still have no idea what that is going to look like. I’m excited sure, but how do I get from point A to point B? The only thing that I can hold on to is the Word that He gave me and trust that it will not return void but will accomplish what He pleases and prosper just as He sent it.

And lastly, before the Lord spoke to me I asked Him for joy right off the bat. This is what He replied: “You shall go out with joy, and be led out with peace.” Thank you Father.

Be satisfied. Be happy. Be delighted. Repent. Don’t spend your money or efforts on what doesn’t satisfy. Be blown away by the unfathomable God that wants to glorify you. Walk in His peace and joy.

Please pray for me as I leave Sunday to go get satisfied in Tanzania on the Word of the Lord…and the chapati of Tanzania.