Missionary

I was in my small group on Wednesday and as our discussion was wrapping up I said something (I don’t even remember what it was) and in it I referred to myself as a missionary. A friend of mine from the group, Victor, was sparked by my off hand reference and asked me to divulge further on why I referred to myself as such. He went on to say how it is his belief (which I agree with mostly) that being a missionary should be synonymous with being a Christian, so either every Christian should get the title or none should. A discussion ensued to say the least.

Why did I refer to myself as a missionary? The truth is that I typically don’t, and it is striking to think of myself as such. Growing up, the picture in my mind of a missionary was somebody going out into the middle of the Amazon, learning the language, sharing the Gospel and living there for at least twenty years straight. You know what a lot of my work detail involves? Construction paper. I use a lot of construction paper for the preschool. That isn’t what I had in mind growing up with a picture of being a missionary. I found myself explaining that its not because of my personal view of myself, but rather I’m playing off the typical American Christian mindset of what a missionary is. The way that my other friend from group, Phillip, was explaining it made sense to me and essentially there are three things that would lead me to call myself a “missionary.” 1. I live in a country that I am not native to. 2. I am here fulfilling some sort of mission that goes in line with The Great Commission (I’m in the discipleship business). 3. I am sent, supported and funded by the church I am native to, the American church. It would be accurate to say I am an Education Director which I typically follow up with, but if I were visiting the states and speaking to someone they could think Education Director at the YMCA around the corner. Whereas, those three points shape my life a lot more then the work detail itself.

Phillip’s wife Joy was talking about how when she goes back to Norway, she deliberately doesn’t say “missionary” because that will send the person’s walls up and they’ll put her in a box. That’s wise and I pray for the same discernment. I’ll try to be all things to all men on something like a title for myself (1 Corinthians 9:22). If you are an American Christian, I’m a missionary. If you don’t like that term, I’m an Education Director and Business Manager. If you’re not a believer, I’m a humanitarian worker. Above all those, I’m a father.

The following day I was emailing my South African friend Portia (here’s your shout out, sister) and she was responding to my previous post and my thoughts on short-term missions. She went on to talk about her belief that some Christians are called to hang with the kids on their own block and work the soup kitchens in their own neighborhood. I totally agree. Victor had asked me if I would consider all Christians to be missionaries and I replied conditionally. I said in calling, yes, all Christians are called to be missionaries. But in actuality, no, not all who call themselves Christian live like they’re on a mission.

The Lord’s ways are higher than mine and yours. I feel from time to time the things that I speak of sound like I am firmly on one side or another of an old Christian debate (all my Calvinists say ‘hey’ all my free-willers say ‘ho’). The following is such a comment, but I humbly say I don’t know how the big picture works exactly. I do believe that we as Christians miss out on things that the Lord had planned for us to do. I mentioned this idea towards the end of my blog last week also. John Piper’s book Don’t Waste Your Life was largely focused on this idea that we don’t waste our life, fitting title right? He shares a story of this man who has lived most of his life and comes to the Lord for the first time. While he is now saved, he repeatedly says “I’ve wasted it, I’ve wasted it.” He wasted so much of his life. Praise God his life wasn’t over right then, but that is a tough thing to look back on. All the worse I believe, if we were saved a long time ago, but kept the Holy Spirit bottled up and kept our salvation in our pocket instead of sharing it. Don’t hide it under a bushel now.

So okay then I’m a missionary missionary. I’m a missionary (because I’m a Christian) missionary (because I live a mission in a foreign country and am supported by the church) and what effect does that have on my life? Those three points I mentioned earlier have a profound impact on my life and what I am able to do and what I choose to do with my life. I inherently don’t see friends and family, because I live in a country that I’m not native to. I have to be ultra focused on my mission because its what the Lord has called me to and anything else here would be a waste. But its that third thing that came up again this week.

For those of you that saw one of my most commented on FB status updates, you know that I have tickets to a game for the World Cup. I have played soccer since I was five and love to watch it as well. I remember the last World Cup in Germany and was so stoked on it. One of my favorite mini games during soccer practice growing up was even called “World Cup.” There’s a contest Coca-Cola is doing down here that has all these Tanzanians checking their soda bottle caps to see if they won tickets to a game down there. Yeah, its kind of a big deal and I have tickets. Some volunteers that are here were planning on being down there in South Africa during the tournament, but can’t go so they gave the tickets to me and Lauren. Needless to say I was flipping out when Lauren first told me. Well if only it were that simple… Lauren has been contacting people, I’ve been contacting people and going online and the cheapest plane tickets out of Kilimanjaro are over $700 and the cheaper option is taking a bus up to Nairobi first (an 8 hour bus ride) and flying out of there for $634. Unless something happens, it doesn’t look like we’re going.

The truth is that I could spend $700 on a plane ticket, my finances would take a hit, but its feasible. The Lord has been gracious to me over the last couple months and I‘m not in the spot I was in back in February. Between my friend taking the load off of me with my credit card plus my parents giving me $400 for my birthday last month, $700 is feasible. I don’t see myself pulling the trigger on it though. It is against my personal nature of living minimally. I know that the Lord owns all things, plane tickets, money whatever. So if I’ve wanted something, I’ve prayed for it and He’s provided for me that way. I definitely live with less than the average 24 year old American but I’m satisfied and my most expensive things are not things that I’ve paid anything for, because He’s provided for me. Between that and the whole “missionary” thing I can’t do it. My supporters are wonderful, amazing people. They gave to Hidden With Christ towards my personal support and I can’t justify taking that money and spending $700+ on a three day trip to South Africa.

What point is there in me telling you all that? I wish I had some great moral of the story but the following will have to suffice. Because I live on a mission, I have to remain focused. Every action I perform has a repercussion and I want every action of mine to honor God. Last night a good Christian Tanzanian woman who runs another children’s home here, was encouraging me to go through with the decision and just spend the $700. She talked about how I’m a prince and since I’ve put God first and am fulfilling His mission here, its okay for me to spend some money on something I like. I am a prince and I do need to give myself grace sometimes to do things like that. I love my supporters and I know they love me, because they love me I’m sure they’ll email me or comment telling me its okay to go down there. I appreciate your love and your support. However that’s only one of three pieces in this (how Trinitarian am I being today?).

The second piece is this… I may be a prince and I may be able to afford it, but there are other things that $700 could go towards and advance the Kingdom. There are children that are going to starve tonight. Even TOA has some big financial needs right now. In light of the suffering around me, I couldn’t bring myself to be that rich white person that flies down to South Africa for a few days to catch a World Cup match. The third piece is a realization of faith in my Father, the King. He owns all the money, all the airlines, everything. I don’t need to spend anything. I can use that money for a need of another and He can still provide me a way to South Africa if that’s what He wants. So I’m not throwing away an opportunity of a life time, but I’m just going to completely leave it in His hands and ask for His will.

You are a missionary. I’m not being corny, I’m not being cliché. Whether you live in California, South Africa or wherever, you are called to fulfill a specific mission that the Lord has put before you. You are called to not waste your time and to not lose focus. You are called to the person standing in front of you and to advance His Kingdom in your sphere of influence. Don’t let this roll of your mind because you’ve heard it before in some fashion. If this rolls of your mind and you haven’t been living out the mission, you are going to continue in wasteful living. This probably doesn’t look like moving to a foreign country (although it could). It does, however, look like difficulty, looks like sacrifice, looks like fulfillment, looks like purpose. Be so bold as to fulfill the mission that He’s put before you. He will give you the grace for all such things, for this we give praise.

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The Rundown: Related to the things that I spoke of but also not, I’ve felt a bit of a heaviness this week. Earlier this week, I truly found myself to be bored one afternoon. Along with that is a lack of motivation that comes from time to time. Its hard out here guys and I feel like I’m not understanding much a lot of the time. Its been good to have some reflective prayer though and I trust that the Lord is at work with something. On worship on Thursday, I was just realizing that I need a rest of some sort. I’ve been at TOA everyday since language school ended in January. I get caught up in my work and want to do it well and this is the most significant work of my life so I want to be there always. Also, a weekend would be the best time to break, but that’s the only time that Awadhi’s home, so I’m still there doing one thing or another. Anyways, other than that, the NMC team is gone and the Vanguard team is here. I saw a friend from the team, but not the whole team yet. They’re coming to TOA tomorrow (Saturday) so that should be cool. Today was good. I picked Awadhi up from school and had a good conversation with his Headmistress and she was telling me how well he’s doing. I also told her that I’m interested in hiring a tutor so hopefully that bears some fruit. After that, all the little ones were on a walk, the lower elementary kids were doing homework and the older kids were at school still so Awadhi and I just went out and played by ourselves. We played soccer and I’m trying to get him ready to start playing in the big games with the older kids. I know he’s little, but he’s athletic like his dad. After that we shot hoop and he was knocking down granny shots from ten or twelve feet back so I showed him how to shoot normal and he started making those from close range. Then he did the ultimate copy-dad and shot it over the backboard and made it twice. It reminded me of playing horse with my dad growing up and was definitely a highlight of my week. Other than that, I got back to pick-up soccer now that teams are gone and nothing was going on today. It is a lot of fun to get out there and mix it up with all those Tanzanians. Wow, long rundown. Don’t worry, I’m done now.