Weird

Wow, I went like eleven days between my blogs. I’ve failed all (both) of you. Don’t worry, I’m sure what I’m about to share about will scare you off, so you won’t worry about missing my weekly thoughts anymore.

A couple of weeks ago, I watched this movie called “Finger of God” and it talked about how the Lord is moving throughout the world. It was all about this conservative Christian guy going out and documenting some of the things that happen that seem “weird” to the “normal” person. A guy on the video brought up a good point, saying that using the word “weird” presupposes that something else is “normal,” but that can vary from person to person and church to church, so there’s not really a true normal. If there’s no true “normal” there can’t be a true “weird.” So for some churches they think about your service and think, “wait, you actually spend time in worship and no gold feathers, manna or flawless stones materialize out of thin air? That’s weird.”

I was raised in a good, conservative church. At the age of 19, I moved down to the Pentecostal (where most people aren’t) school of Vanguard University. Shortly after I got there, Katrina rocked New Orleans and they had a prayer meeting for the people. I went and loved it. I found out that this isn’t just a one time thing, but rather a small portion of these people get together every Thursday night and pray for anything and everything. It became a staple in my life for the next two years. Through Prayer Movement, I became introduced to words of prophecy and people that speak in tongues. At the time, I personally didn’t prophesy or speak in tongues, but it became less weird.

Since then, through my first trip to Tanzania, normal Christian growth, stepping into a personal prophetic ministry in California and realizing the legitimacy of this strange stream, I have begun to act a bit more weird in my personal faith. I’m realizing more and more that I’m not the only weird guy out there (and far from the weirdest) and that this weird stream isn’t really weird at all.

Praying in tongues is often one of the first steps down this road. This could be the interpretive tongue, or it could be a personal prayer language. I speak in a tongue that I don’t understand in my mind. I am conscious when I do it and I know what I’m praying about, but not what the words mean. I’m not the only one that does it. A friend of yours does probably, someone in your family might. I have friends and family that do this and it makes it not so strange. I remember when I first started speaking in tongues, I was questioning if it was legit. As I do, I asked Clesi for her thoughts knowing that she regularly spoke in tongues. I asked her to say something from her prayer language, she paused for a moment and said something that didn’t sound anything like what I had been speaking in my language. Each is so unique. I’ve got another friend who just makes this tic-tic-tic noise super fast. I’ve heard Lydia speak in tongues so much, I could probably speak her language. People do this.

Well after I first spoke in tongues and figured that I was the only weirdo in my family, I heard someone else in my family do it and it maybe added to the legitimacy of it more than any other event (even though I already knew it was legit). Right before I moved here, I was at my parents house and packing for Tanzania. I had received prayer earlier and as I was packing, my dad came in the room and said that he wanted a time to just pray for me alone. I said okay of course and he hugged me. He prayed in English and then he started praying in a language I’ve never heard him speak before, it was a spiritual language.* And that’s probably the best part about praying in a different tongue. If I’ve reached the point where I can’t fit my emotions or thoughts into articulate words, I can switch to another language and the words will fit the prayer.

Its not just tongues though. I have a friend who every Thursday night during worship, gets a case of the holy giggles. Giggles isn’t a sufficient word… she laughs like a crazy person. Its quite contagious and enjoyable. I have a growing number of friends that utilize prophecy during times of prayer. To be honest, that’s my favorite part of this stream. Also, we get words from the Lord through our dreams. All sorts of stuff. Stuff that wasn’t previously a part of my “normal” Christian life.

I know what you’re thinking. I know it because it was (and at times is) my thought. Some of that stuff is NOT legit. Some of those guys are fakes, some of them have no integrity. Totally, and they ruin it for the rest of us. Even some of the good guys get caught up in religiosity. Last summer, I came to a training and impartation for The Call Africa conference that took place here. That afternoon, for the first time while I received prayer, I could feel the Holy Spirit so much that I hit the ground, or rather someone caught me as I fell down. I was standing one moment with my arms out and the next moment I felt this weight fall on my body and gracefully fell to the ground. I was at an incredible state of peace. After I got up, I was wanting a certain individual to pray for me. As I was waiting to ask him to pray for me, another man, a well-known preacher, came up to me and next thing I know he’s praying for me. It was brief and then he did something. Essentially, he kissed me on the forehead and pushed me over. Moments before I felt the Holy Spirit (legit) and the next moment I got pushed (not legit).

I know that’s out there, but nonetheless we should be careful not to discredit the real stuff, because there is power in it and it ministers deeply.

We have a team here right now and on Monday night, Eli, Rosa, and I joined everyone else and the team at Lydia and Jodie’s place. The team ministered prayer to the five of us staff members and it was legit. Like really legit. Before I received prayer, I told them how I had been under attack the last few days. Saturday night, I was incredibly lonely and couldn’t sleep well. When I did fall asleep, the Lord gave me a prophetic dream and two hours later after I fell back to sleep, I was attacked by a demonic dream. The next two days I also had a terrible stomach ache. I shared some of this briefly with them and then they interceded for me. These people that I hardly knew, started speaking such truth in my life, I was weeping like I haven’t in a long time. I was weeping over something that was way overdue. I realized how wounded I had been by a previous experience and that it was affecting me drastically. And yeah, if you looked in and saw me sitting in a chair with these six people encircling me, you’d say “that looks strange.” On top of receiving the prayers and prophecy, I had one invisible arrow pulled out of me (like the wound that I had suffered), I had my stomach sliced open and my stomach ache pulled out and I took two soft karate chops to the back (I forget what that signified… it was a little weird.) I’ll be honest, I was deeply ministered to and the “weird” stuff played a part. The next day, my stomach ache was gone and the words they gave me and the prayer I received has given me a clearer direction.

God’s ways are higher than ours and His thoughts are higher than ours. Despite that, our services seem pretty fathomable. He should be the ultimate pastor and director over our gatherings and if that is the case, it will probably cause our services to not look like anything to be described as “normal.” If Jesus were transplanted into the states or Tanzania and walked into a church gathering, He’d probably think “this is kind of weird.” Jesus did strange things (anybody else see blind dudes get mud on them and getting healed normally). The Holy Spirit continues that ministry in the authority of Christ today and we need to allow ourselves to be in step with Him. Even if that seems “weird.”

* I’d apologize for outing my dad, but its not really anything to be embarrassed about in the first place. Besides, everyone who knows my dad, knows he’s a roller in all other regards already.

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The Rundown: Boy, its been so long, its hard to say. My fast went well. I had told some friends that I was going to do it and a few of them decided to do it with me. So I spent the evenings of Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of last week at Lauren, Ronda and Gina’s place for prayer and worship which was really great. We ended the fast after prayer on Wednesday night at El Rancho. Friday night, a six-person team from a church in Florida came to work with Hidden With Christ and they spent the first four days with us. Rita came in the following night, so its been great having all of them around. The team brought a bunch of education and overall children’s home supplies for us and I have enjoyed getting acquainted with all my new tools. Rita meanwhile brought me a whole bag of non-perishable food from the states, which is also quite nice. Saturday we went around Moshi and then they came and hung out at TOA with us. Sunday, I went with some of them out to Pastor Mbasha’s church and it was wonderful as always. Afterwards, we had lunch at his and Mama Janet’s place. I love Pastor Mbasha so much. He’s like my Tanzanian dad. He called me “kijana yangu” which means “my young man.” We just laugh so much together. Monday and Tuesday the team was at work at TOA and they got a grip load done. Wow, it was really remarkable and we are very blessed. They are off to Arusha now and will be going on safari before ministering out at Pastor Zablon’s village. Now, its back to business as usual.

Weight

I’ve been thinking a lot the last few days and in my mind I’m trying to fit all the pieces together.

This is how it all has come about. Tuesday during discipleship with Ryan, we talked about the ministry of Jesus and walking in the supernatural on a normal basis and why it doesn’t happen in our lives like it did in Jesus’ or other followers past and present. That night I watched a movie called “Finger of God” which was about the movement of God in supernatural ways in the present day church throughout the world, much of which was in severely impoverished countries. It had me thinking so in my devotion on Wednesday, I shared on that part of our walking in the Kingdom, but felt like an idiot, because its not really all that present in my life. Thursday night worship was amazing. It was prophetic, it was powerful, it stirred our faith and brought us to question why in the face of so much need, we personally don’t employ all the power given to us. On Friday, I visited the website of an organization called Discover the Journey. I was watching their awareness videos and I was floored by some of the stuff that they showed, specifically about the orphan problem in Iraq. I could feel the weight of the needs of this world. I’ve been carrying that weight to this point and after a long conversation over and after dinner with Lauren and some others, the fire in my belly has just been growing.

What are we doing? What are we doing? What am I doing?

I lack appropriate words for what is going on in my head. I’ve felt intense personal frustration since being here, but the last few days it has been this depressing frustration about the world’s plight and the American church’s paralysis in doing anything. I’m not trying to sound condemning, but again I only speak from my experience. Up until four months ago, I was an active American church member, so take this from someone who has been in similar shoes. We are not doing enough. I am not doing enough. You individually are not doing enough.

Can I speak candidly with you about all these things?

Statistics are fun, aren’t they? Here are a couple stats that I heard in the last week. I may mess them up, but I don’t need them in the first place to tell you there’s a need. Stat 1 (from Discover the Journey): There have become 1 million new orphans in Iraq since the American invasion, an unheard of precedent in the Middle East. Stat 2: It would take one third of people professing to be Christians to adopt every orphan in the world that is eligible for adoption. Aren’t those fun? I know we love to just throw those around, it shows that we care. You hear stats like these, and we could truly go on forever with some daunting figures, and one of three things happen. One, you hear it and it doesn’t hit you so you just forget. Two, you hear it and it debilitates you to actually do anything. Three, the rarest happening, you hear a stat and do something small or big about it.

Have we been reading our Bibles? New or Old Testament, take your choice. Do you see the righteous anger the Lord has towards those who oppress or apathetically allow suffering of orphans, widows and the disenfranchised? As Lauren said last night, do we realize that the Bible isn’t about us? The Lord gave it to us, as an incredible and completely necessary tool for sanctification. With the right interpretation, under the direction of the Holy Spirit, we are unveiled to who God is and what He wants to do through us for His glory. We don’t get to pick and choose which scriptures we want to emphasize in our lives. We emphasize the whole book. We love to talk about God’s love, Jesus gives us rest, He’ll give His children good things. What about the parts about enacting true justice and restoration for others? No, sorry that’s out of my comfort zone. What about modeling after the crazy guys that were godly enough to look crazy and be unpopular. John the Baptist, Jeremiah, Jesus, take your pick. Hmm… a little too radical for me.

Here’s a few popular words in young American churches: activism, causes, social justice. These are good things. These are insufficient things. You know what will change the world and enact true justice for the oppressed? The gospel. The whole unadulterated thing with all the words and the actions that come with it.

We are all called to live the gospel which includes true justice. Think about how that appears in your church and sphere of life. Anybody else think of Invisible Children? A good organization and I pray the Lord’s blessing over them. You aren’t daily walking in justice, because you do Invisible Children’s big event once a year and own a couple of their shirts. Its not enough. Think about what they’re doing. Invisible Children is an activist group that enacts righteousness on behalf of children that are forced into war. What is their relationship with you? You bought one of their sweet shirts. Are they a clothing company? No. They sold you a shirt, because they knew you wouldn’t just give money, unless you went through the god of materialism and you could wear your activism on your sleeve. And yes the shirt can lead to awareness, but awareness only does good if it is followed by action and intervention. Their big events are good and do things for raising awareness and fund raising for their just cause. But its also strategic in drawing people. They came to you, because they know you won’t go to them. Come on Brandon, they work in Uganda. Getting there would be impossible and too costly and not safe and yada yada yada. Bull. You serve a God of infinite power, grace and provision. Case closed.

Maybe you’re not called to Africa or Asia or wherever these terrible atrocities are taking place (and many do happen under the nose of Americans, in their own country). Maybe you’re called to the states, that’s wonderful, obey the Lord in that and go to Chipotle on my behalf. You are also called to enact true justice for your neighbors, both local and global. And I would ask you to be thorough in your thoughts. Don’t say that they aren’t really your neighbor because they live in another part of the world and you don‘t see them. We live in a world that is more connected than anytime in history. Be consistent. If you don’t think your Christian witness applies to the globe, besides ripping the Great Commission out of your Bible, you can throw out all those Japanese electronics and your German car. With that said, what does loving others look like when others include women forced into prostitution? When others include 12 year old boys forced to kill people? When others include millions of orphans living on the streets? Does love look like buying a T-Shirt and joining a Facebook cause? Or does love look like spending hours in intercession and days in fasting? How about traveling to these places to hug them and speak truth to them about the God who loves, heals and restores? Does it look like selling things you like to support ministries that enact the Lord’s justice for them? Let’s love justly.

I want to end with something that should be and probably will be an entire writing in itself. We must realize the impossible is possible and walk in that stream of love and justice. Through diligence in our relationship with the Lord, we can have an increased anointing to move in power by the Holy Spirit. We can proclaim justice to that battered soul and as we tell them about the Lord that restores and heals, we allow ourselves to be His agent of such restoration and healing. We give Him control, love that person and enact justice for them by supernaturally healing them mind, body, and soul. If it’s a child soldier that has become paralyzed, that means we hug him, tell him God loves him, and in Jesus’ name tell him to pick up his mat and walk, then we get to rejoice as we see the Lord do His work in the boy’s mind, body and soul. If we believe the Bible and if we believe God is involved in this world and our lives, none of this is a jump.

There is a tremendous need and I don’t claim to have the answers or the best strategies. But God does, and if you have the Holy Spirit, He can guide you to what you are supposed to do with all this. It is weighty stuff. Its sad, its terrible, its ugly. Its not for the faint of heart or for the weak stomach. But this is what living the gospel looks like.

Do justice. Be righteous. Love. Pray. Intercede. Act, then act again, then act again. Do something big that looks impossible and upsets some people, but is exactly what God wants you to do. Live the gospel.

Note: This is in no way written to condemn people, much less my supporters. If you support me and the work to Tanzanian orphans through Hidden With Christ Ministries, that is a work of obedience to the Lord and justice to the disenfranchised. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was outside of what we do, but my question is, what’s next? Its the same with those that support good organizations like Invisible Children. In all of it, there is too much need to say that what any of us is doing is enough. There’s always more, radically, drastically more.

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The Rundown: Well, I shared a bit of my week early in the blog so there’s all that. I preached on Sunday and it went really well. I was blessed to speak and it was more fun to preach without translation. Remember my blog “Church”? Well, with preaching last week and leading worship solo tomorrow, the Lord is doing that, so its exciting to be a part of His body at ICC. Pray for me as I lead worship. The kids are well and it was a fairly normal and blessed week. In step with what my blog was on and seeking the Lord for an increased anointing to walk in His Holy Spirit in all facets, I’ll be fasting Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday this week. Please pray that the Lord would increase His anointing on me and give me vision in this time of prayer and fasting. That’s all I got. PEACE!

Persistence

This is a little cheap. Okay, just so you know before you continue with the blog, I want you to know that there is the slightest bit of me that is being lazy in what I’m about to talk about. The Lord has been teaching me something over the last little while and I’ve turned it into a sermon. I delivered that sermon at Pastor Unity’s church on Sunday. I then used the same material in a short devotional at TOA on Wednesday morning. I’ll be preaching on it at a my church tomorrow. A couple hours ago, I didn’t know what to write on so I went with this. I’ll be a little like Rob Bell. Not like having hip haircuts and sprinkling a little heresy and weird analogies in my teaching, but rather if you’ve heard me teach, then my writing is pretty much the same stuff, just like his Noomas and sermons are the same as his books. If this repetition in anyway makes you feel cheap, I’m sorry. Please feel free to not read any further. My feelings won’t be hurt. I imagine most people that “read” my blog don’t make it past the first paragraph anyway.

Disclaimer aside, there is this passage in Luke 11 that seems a little odd to me. Sometimes, I hear a story that Jesus tells and I’m just like “huh?” This is one such passage. One night, a guy comes to his friend and asks for some bread. The friend tells him to take a hike, because him and the fam are already in bed (I’m paraphrasing of course, that’s okay though, Eugene Peterson paraphrased the whole Bible and everyone loves that). The dude doesn’t leave, but keeps asking. Jesus explains that it is because of his persistence that the friend will get up and hook him up with the bread. And what do we learn? If you bug your friends enough, you’ll ware them out and get what you want. Right?

Jesus goes on to teach the famous “ask, seek, knock” passage, to which everyone that wants a new car says “amen!” Not quite. This passage always seems to befuddle me a little. I remember thinking about this passage and continually asking the Lord for a particular thing that was very important and very big. It never happened and barring a miracle that is way overdue, it won’t ever happen. I’m okay with that, but it makes the passage a little confusing.

Time

Birthdays always seem to get a person thinking about their lives and how they’ve been spending their time. For us as believers it poses a perfect time for us to reflect on our lives in the last year and point to God’s faithfulness in that time. Such was the case for me this week.

I am no longer 23. I have officially entered my mid-twenties. On Thursday, I was thinking how I spent my 23rd birthday. I was in the dumps a bit actually. A girl I had been dating and I broke up the week before and so went my plans for my birthday. The big highlight ended up being going out with some of my guy friends to ESPN Zone to watch the Dodgers game and I actually think they lost. That was the day that started my year as a 23 year old; the year that definitely saw the most change in my life. I moved from Costa Mesa to Moshi to Long Beach back to Moshi and here I am.

That same woman, who I remain close friends with, emailed me this week and asked me for my thoughts on that season in our lives. I enjoyed thinking back, but now it all seems so odd and distant. Well, okay, that was my last year in Costa Mesa, I struggled with feelings towards this person and I was working this job and I was going to this church, my final year rooming with Josh and Cody. Yeah, that was a good time in my life, but its gone and things will never be like that again. Do I wish some things of that season were still a part of my current life? Totally! I’ve never had roommates that I laughed with and grew with like Josh and Cody. I’d love to have that again. I’d love to have many parts of my past to be parts of my present.

You know what I remember about that time? Alta. With Clesi, with Ash, with whoever. I remember the sights and smells of preaching and doing evangelism at Newport Pier. I remember getting calloused fingers for the first time while learning to play guitar. I remember songs from worship times with my life group. That’s where I was when I turned 23. Isn’t it funny how all these different aspects of our physical lives are linked together? Like a certain song brings you back to such and such time or reminds you of this person. Blue Fruitopia (do they still make that?) is forever linked to my freshman year of high school and I get sad with any similar smell because that was a lonely time for me. Amos Lee’s self-titled album is linked to my internship in Moshi, it brings back memories of my roommates and the excitement of getting hired at TOA, whereas Matthew Mayfield makes me somber as I found his music during a very hard and sad time in my life. The Lord constructed us to remember things and remember His faithfulness in every season of our lives.

In all our reflection, we should be sure to evaluate our effectiveness for the Kingdom and take note of what God was doing in that time. God’s movement of course can look so different from person to person, same with the advancement of His Kingdom. Maybe the last year His Kingdom and His Spirit was expanding in your life personally and this next year will see the fruit affecting the lives of the people around you. Or maybe, the Lord spent the last year radically using you and changing you and the Kingdom grew because He chose you. Or maybe, you spent the last year sitting on your hands, trying to see if you could get the coolest new gadget, that significant other you‘ve been longing for, or any other arbitrary thing that pulled you away from what the Lord was trying to do.

I am 24. Our lives are short. Its funny how we always want to think about the future and how we hope things will be. Typically that goes about five years in the future, we’d like to be there because then we’ll have our spouse, our own house, our family, our own business, our whatever. We don’t like to look to the future that is fifty years from now. The truth is that those things you plan on having in five years may be further than you expect and that fifty years is coming quicker than any of us realize. In fifty years, I may very well be dead. It wouldn’t even have to be anything particularly tragic or odd. I’d be in my seventies, people just die in their seventies. If I am just an average man, I’ve essentially lived a third of my life and yet in so many ways, I feel as though my life has just started.

How morbid of me, the Lord has given me another year completed in my life and I’m talking about death. I’m not trying to be morbid or foreboding, but it is biblical to realize that our time on this earth is fleeting, a mere vapor in the wind (James 4:14). So how are we spending our time? Are we capturing every moment for the glory of God or are we just trying to keep our heads afloat? Are we intentionally seeking to enjoy our time in accordance with His spiritual fruit of joy and peacefulness? Or are we constantly longing, even lusting, after whatever thing we think will satisfy, therein driving us to the point of misery? When your life is said and done will people be able to tell that you existed? If so is it because you made a positive impact or is it because you became an infamous waste of God’s creation?

Our tendency is often to look to mediocrity. I don’t have to be like Mother Theresa, so long as I don’t become like Hitler. You’ll have to forgive me, I’m a bit of an idealist, but I would hope that more people would strive to reach levels of goodness and worth-living life that would reflect that of a saint like Mother Theresa. But rather than trying to be like her, lets try to be like the Guy that was her inspiration and walk in the same Spirit that empowered her. Let’s live our lives in front of God and only look for His satisfaction in us. Mother Theresa did that. I feel like much of the world missed out on her passing because it was overshadowed by the wasteful death of Princess Diana around the same time. But that wouldn’t matter to Momma T for one second, because she didn’t spend her time thinking about publicity or what people thought and noticed about her. She lived her life and spent her time with her eyes on her Creator and the life to come.

I don’t want to waste my time on earth. I don’t want to get old and look back and see a garage full of cars and realize its all vanity. I don’t want to wait for tomorrow to be great in God’s sight, because tomorrow might not even come. I don’t know how much time I have on this earth, but I know that whatever time He gives me, that time is important and I should use it wisely. I realize this is only a vapor in the light of eternity. I realize that “the Christians who did the most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next” (C.S. Lewis) I thank the Lord for the last 24 years. I pray that He is glorified in me today and that I can focus on Him and Heaven so that I don’t waste the moments He gives me.

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The Rundown: My birthday was very blessed and memorable. I started off the day at devotion and Jodie prompted people to do affirmations for me and I was affirmed by Eli, a few of our workers and one of our kids Irene, then everyone prayed for me. My parents gave me some money and after an ordeal for a few days, I was able to download a really sweet editor that I will be using to get quality videos of me and the kids out to all of you. Lyd and Jodie took me out for lunch which was nice. We also celebrated altogether at TOA where we ate cookies the older boys had made the night before and Mary prayed a blessing over me. I had a good time of English Bible teaching with the Form One students. And that night I had dinner at the Helblings and Lauren made a cake for us to enjoy after worship. A very blessed day overall. The only other two things would be that Friday, I played pickup soccer for the first time with a bunch of Tanzanians and that was fun. Playing with Tanzanians is similar to playing with Mexicans, which is what I’m used to. Its like they’re good, but its not like they’re necessarily better than me and I just have to get used to speaking in a language other than English. Tanzanians don’t celebrate as much though, I will say that. I scored my team’s only goal. I will be preaching at Pastor Unity’s on Sunday and will be bringing Innocent and Awadhi with me which will be great. I’ve preached there before and I really love Pastor and his wife Grace, who is like my right hand at TOA. That’s it!

Wow, I think my blogs keep getting longer and longer…