Flying

I seem to have been walking in a bit of a fog for the last couple weeks. I feel like life is speeding past me and I can hardly comprehend the smallest bit of it. I don't feel distant from God, I don't feel disconnect with those I spend time with, I don't feel unproductive, I just have been walking in this perpetual surreality.

I was spending time with the Lord last night on top of Signal Hill and I was reflecting on life and how I was choosing to spend this particular Friday night and it hit me, "Holy love, its Friday!" Am I seriously at the end of another week? November 6th, what does that mean to me... it means that in two months, not "just over two months," literally in two months, I will be LIVING in Tanzania. That's nuts. That's absolutely insane. And tomorrow it will be "less than two months." "Hey Brandon when will you be living in Tanzania?" "Oh, less than two months." That blows my mind.

And that's just Tanzania.

In five weeks, I will be moving away from California where I've lived for the last 23 years (or since I was five months old, however you want to put it). The place I've laid my head and heart for so many years, peace out.

Oh here's a somewhat applicable tangent... On Saturday, I was working at Pacific Pointe's Harvest Fest and I ran into an RD from Vanguard. We are more like acquaintances, but I know both her and her husband. Good people. Anyways, she asked me what I'd been up to and I gave her the run-down. "I live in Long Beach, I am the children's director at two churches and in January I am moving to Tanzania to be the Education Director at an orphanage." We go on to talk and she says "So is that just where your heart is?" "...Yes?" That is a trick question. Not fair at all. Moshi is where I want to be. Moshi is where I'm called to. Moshi is where Awadhi and all my TOA kids are. Moshi is where my Masai brothers and sisters are. Moshi is where I have so many inspiring friends. Moshi is where my heart is... but what about other places? Paso Robles is where I grew up and where my heart is most comfortable. Costa Mesa is where I grew into a man and where I've left so many friends. Rice Lake is where my parents, brother and sister are and where my heart finds rest. Long Beach is where my church community is and where I see the Lord moving now. My heart is all over the place. So are there compartments to my heart? Is my heart confused? I try to liken it to my physical heart. My heart is a muscle, the strongest most enduring muscle. If I love you with all my heart, thats not saying that I've given you every compartment of my heart, it means that I've put my all my heart strength into loving you and I'm squeezing as tight as possible with that love muscle. I'm sure that this analogy breaks down somewhere but its the best I got.

Anyways, this fog...

Its not a spiritual fog like I've had before or other people speak of. The Lord is quite present right now. His Spirit was moving in Moshi this summer and He hasn't stopped here in Long Beach. The last few months have seen an increase in prophecy in my life to new levels (literally waking up in the middle of night with prophetic dreams getting confirmed by other people). This fog is like a focus fog. So much is happening, that it is hard to focus. If anyone is responsible for this fog its the Lord. And just as I say that, I realize this isn't really a fog, its more like a cloud. That's it. I'm flying with Jesus! WEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Cue flashback music*

After my graduation ceremony at Vanguard, I was going to go with my family to get some grub. I had driven myself so I was going to meet them there. I got into my car (Frank R.I.P.) and I felt this profound sense of the Lord's presence in my car. I literally felt Jesus sitting with me in the car and knowing that Him and I were about to start a grand adventure. I smiled. I was excited. Grinning like an idiot in the middle of a parking lot but at full peace with Who I was with and what we were embarking on. Lo and behold, only a year and a half later, I'm moving to Tanzania to begin the biggest Kingdom job of my life. I didn't know it would be so big so quick, but I'm certainly excited.

It doesn't fit my personal theology to walk slowly with Jesus. Perhaps if I am seeking rest or restoration for a season, but I want my relationship with Jesus to be more. I want my relationship with Jesus to be running and running as fast as possible. I didn't realize that in this running, Jesus could get us going so fast that we start to fly... (note continued theme)... among the clouds. That's so exciting! But sweet mercy, that can be scary and daunting.

So there you go, I'm flying with Jesus and there is no ground beneath me. I am between four cities right now (living in LB for the next month and a half, thanksgiving in Paso, Christmas and sabbath in Rice Lake, then moving to Moshi). Even beyond my location there isn't really anything that grounds me. Both of my jobs have known I'm leaving since they brought me on. As far as relationships go. I don't have my family with me, nor will I in Moshi. I do have friends here in Long Beach, but my oldest and closest friends are between Paso and Costa Mesa. And I'm single (regrettably). I have to consistently remind myself and confess during my prayer time that the only constant in my life is the Lord. I have a feeling that will be a theme in my life.

So pray that I can focus on the Lord and whatever it is He has me doing. As much as I love being in SoCal, a part of these last couple weeks has been a longing to get to Tanzania and getting to work there. So pray that He would prepare me in every aspect to fulfill my role there. If you are in California and you want to hang out before I take off, please let me know. I'd love to see you.

I bless you in the name of the Lord and pray that you will experience the joy, thrill and holy fear of flying with the Creator of the universe.

Editor's Note: Just so we have an understanding going forward, Brandon is incapable of writing short blogs. He'll try his best to make them enjoyable and a suggestion for finding time to read is to multi-task and read on the can. (Just throwing it out there).