I was having a conversation over Chipotle yesterday with my pastor Darren. I always enjoy our conversations and yesterday's seemed especially poignant as I wrap up my time here in Long Beach (or California period for that matter). We were both reflecting on what the Lord's been doing in the last year since The Garden really took off, what He's doing in our church now and what the future is looking like and specifically what The Garden's future partnership with me in Tanzania is going to be like. I love dreaming with a coworker in the Harvest and Darren is up there as far dreaming workers go.
In speaking of our individual stories, one thing seems to stick out and is a recurrence when we speak with other people... our age. Darren is 25 and is a pastor to a quickly growing congregation in an internationally influential city where the diversity across socioeconomic, cultural and racial fronts is vast. I am 23 and in 6 weeks I am moving to a foreign country for a stay that can best be described as "long term indefinite" doing kingdom work that will affect not only the 27 kids at Treasures of Africa, but the nation of Tanzania as a whole. Now if I boast in anything let me boast in Christ resurrected and Him working through me by His Holy Spirit. I was a total punk in high school (and I still have my moments). I was a timid, tame and worldly Christian (is that even possible?) when I transferred to Vanguard. These great things now and on the horizon are only through His guidance and ordination and the work He's done to change my heart and my life is the biggest miracle I've experienced.
Having said all that, I can't tell you how excited I am for the road ahead of me. I think about those kids at TOA and I can't help but smile and be in awe that in all His goodness, the Lord was so gracious as to give me this position. If I've made one good decision in my life, it was taking this position. But such great joys do not come without great risk and sacrifice. I could spend a whole blog (and probably will at some point) talking about sacrifice and my experience, but today risk is on my heart.
I think that risk is inescapably attached to LIVING by faith. I think that it is possible (and often happens here in America) to have faith and be saved, but not live by faith. I was saved at the age of four with a saint named Margaret Glore who had a profound effect on my life. On that day, I professed my faith in the death and resurrection of Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit and confessed my need for Him to pardon my sins forever. (I don't think those were the exact words of four year old Brandon, but you get my eloquent drift). I don't think that it would surprise anyone for me to say that my life wasn't radically transformed. I wasn't some wicked heathen of a four year old, I was just a four year old with four year old sin. Now I was pretty much the same kid, only now with a basic understanding of who I am to God. I lived the majority of my life with faith, but how that enacted in my life was largely non-existent. I know kids in Tanzania that will lay hands on you and you'll be healed, they've cast out demons even. Not me, my sister Bobbie and I were a part of group called Club Ted when I was a kid and we really liked to do Valentines Day parties and put on plays for our parents, but no, no demon casting. And its not even all about the supernatural, that's only a facet of the larger picture. In junior high and high school, I didn't have an evangelistic bone in my body, or one for social justice, or one for the majority of the things exemplified the disciples' lives. Yes, I was saved, I had head knowledge and knew the Bible answers and stories, I even knew the moral code in the Bible (which I even followed sometimes), but LIVING by faith wasn't really there and the risk of following an awesome and holy God wasn't there either.
Unfortunately, I don't think that this is uncommon in American Christianity. (Sidenote: I am not trying to pick on American Christians, I am an American Christian, this is my culture and I can best speak out of my own experience.) In the messy union of Christianity, consumerism and American politics, we seem to miss the risk that marks those believers in the Bible. It is very easy to follow God here and that's pretty scary. People will say to me sometimes, "Wow, you're going to be a missionary in Tanzania? God bless you that will be hard." I agree, it is going to be hard, but in all honesty its the easier path for me to choose. I could stay in California and be a Children's Pastor and get married to a woman that loves the Lord and continue to fight those desires to be complacent and just give in and consume, consume, consume. But the Lord isn't calling me or anyone else to complacency and consumerism. The reason its easier for me to live out the Gospel in Tanzania, is because its going to force me to actually rely on Him and being complacent and or consumeristic isn't an option at all.
That's one of the most inspiring things to me about my brothers and sisters in Tanzania, they are LIVING by faith, they have to. Why would we need to have faith that the Lord will provide us our daily bread? We can go to the store and get all the food we need (and all the fun superfluous things we want). That's not an option for my family there. They have to risk going hungry, have faith in His provision and then rejoice when they see that their Heavenly Baba really does provide them their daily bread.
I am always encouraged by the stories of saints past. Two that jump to mind are George Muller and Brother Yun.
George Muller (a Hidden With Christ Ministries inspiration) was a German missionary to England. The Lord gave him congregations to pastor and while he was doing so, he was moved to no longer take pay from the church. Rather, he and his wife would pray that the Lord would provide what they need day to day. Reading his biography is amazingly monotonous as radical provision and answer to prayer come to mark his life. The churches weren't big enough though. The Lord then put it on his heart to do something about the orphans throughout the nation and as the ministry grew, not only he and his wife, but thousands of orphans were literally LIVING by faith. They would only pray that the Lord would provide the food, shelter and education for these kids and it would happen, time and time again. That's risk. I want to live a life like that. I want to live a life where if God doesn't show up and do something, I, and thousands of orphans, are up a creek without a paddle, royally screwed. That's LIVING by faith. And the thing is, you can tell from his story that it wasn't even mainly about the physical care of the orphans (social justice) it was about the glory of the Lord. He wanted to live an appealing life that pointed to the existence of a gracious Father in heaven.
Brother Yun is a pioneer of the modern underground house church movement in China. I'm still reading the book, but have already read stories where he is beaten up and nearly killed for the sake of the Gospel and had it not been for the miraculous intervention of the Lord he'd be dead a long time ago. My favorite part is when he meets is his wife.
The first time Deling and I met I told her, "God has chosen me to be his witness and to follow him through great hardships and the way of the cross. I don't have any money and am always being pursued by the authorities. Do you really want to marry me?"
She answered, "Don't worry, I will never let you down. I will join with you and together we'll serve the Lord."
I need a wife like that!!! Holy love, that blows me a way. That's risk. That's LIVING by faith.
So, enough about the daunting part. There's a tremendous amount of joy that far outweighs any hardship or risk. I was speaking with my friend Megan after church on Sunday and the term "bitter-sweet" came up. "Leaving Long Beach is bitter-sweet". You know, that's the thing though, its more sweet than it is bitter and I think that's how it is supposed to be in the Kingdom. I love California and it is going to be very hard to leave, the "bitter" part if you will. But if my missing the people stateside is any indication of the sweetness of following the Lord in Tanzania, where He's called me, I am in for the most beautiful adventure ever. And I have only scratched the surface. If I (or anyone) continue to choose to follow the Lord and get through the bitter part and experience the sweet, we are going to have some amazing testimonies of the Lord when we are sweet old people (as opposed to bitter old people).
I like risk. Its exciting.
I am risking my finances and what people think of me as monetarily wise (or in Christian terms how I steward). Yeah, I have a degree from Vanguard and that cost me some loans, but people can just watch as I not only raise all the money for my missionary work but the Lord WILL pay off every single loan, and it will be soon. He is faithful. He is already taking care of my finances. I have to raise about $25,000 for a year on the field. My launch number is $7,500 to get out of the states. As of last week, I've already reached that. I've raised more in the last three and a half months then I did the previous two summers going to Tanzania. Its far from over of course, that's only 30% of what I need and monthly sponsors are the biggest need now. [Pause for fundraising ad]
If you would like to help Brandon Stiver father Tanzanian orphans you can donate at www.treasuresofafrica.org/staff/brandon_s.htm
[Back to our regular scheduled blog]
I am risking making a grip load of mistakes. I am a naive 23 year old. Darren is only 25 (but sweet mercy he walks in anointing). Our new children's director Alex is only 21 (But I'm gladly throwing her in the deep end). Like them, I'm in way over my head and I risk failing. My fear would be that the kids won't respond to the programs and my work there is voided by failure. But I want to be in over my head, that way because I can't do it the Lord will do it. I have to rely on Him and have faith that I will positively affect these kids' lives and their education.
What I'm about to say next is very contrary to American Christian life. But I have every intent on living a type of Christian life that is set on the cross. What I mean by that, is that I intend to suffer and die for the cause. I will live and I will die for the Lord. Being in Tanzania gives me more of an opportunity to do that, but I don't know where I'll be buried. I think about the great saints of old and I would love to count myself among the "blessed are the persecuted" crowd. You often hear people say "I would die for the Gospel" but how many times IN the United States would you get that opportunity. I would like to at least have the opportunity to do so. I'm not going to be the person that says "Dying is the easy part, living for the Gospel is the hard part." Yeah, maybe that's true, but you gotta admit, dying would be pretty hard. And if I risk my life for the sake of the Kingdom, I can only imagine what the sweetness of my reward in Heaven would be.
Risk it. The most you could lose is your life and the gain in life or death is of infinite worth.
...boy, long blogs are so cathartic.
Wow, such a long blog, but so worth reading. Thanks for sharing. You inspire others (me) to risk more! We missed you tonight. Happy Thanksgiving in Paso!
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