My name is Brandon and I have a problem. Something’s not clicking and I’m not sure what to make of it. Over the last few weeks, I’ve been go-go-going and am struggling to see the fruit of my labor. In my vain attempt to be productive, I feel as though I’ve succeeded in exhausting myself but failed in getting some meaningful things done. Allow me to divulge a little…
I’ve been focusing a lot on fundraising as of late. So many of those dates that I had posted on my blog site have now come and past and the big things that I’ve wanted to accomplish in the office are now done as well. I have been so focused on fulfilling my commitment to Hidden With Christ that I question if I haven’t had a bit of a trade-off and have missed something along the way. In my foolish analysis of every single thing in my life, I too question my effectiveness in what I’ve been doing for the organization; walking a way from a few consecutive events with only $30 and a new Facebook friend.
All the while, spiritual things are taking the back seat. Last time I was in the states fund raising for Hidden With Christ, the most “productive” thing that I did was taking a week to fast about it. I haven’t done that and have actually, embarrassingly, only fasted once since my three week fast back in October. My prayer life has been a bit distracted and my time reading the Bible has been diminished as well. And yet at the end of the day, I’m exhausted from all my “productivity” with all the spiritual meat essentially stripped to a minimum in my life.
And its not only that. Those things that feed my soul in other ways have diminished as well; reading, writing (as you can tell by my infrequent posts) and playing guitar. In many ways, I see how the person that I’ve become in the last year has specifically been curtailed to my mode of life in Moshi. Its actually quite a good thing that I don’t have a TV in Moshi. Its also good that I can’t play DVDs on my laptop. It means that I feed my soul with literature and music. The only trade-off there is that I don’t know what’s going on with “The Office,” which is actually more manageable than you might think.
Melissa and I have been sick the last week. We were totally sidelined on Monday and Tuesday, just crashed out in Cody and Alaina’s living room. That productivity fix was put on the bench as well which makes me feel guilty. Its bad that I’ve convinced myself to be such a doer that I’m not even allowed to be sick. Equally as bad, is the fact that even with the time on my hands, I didn’t do a whole lot of spiritually minded things while I was on the couch. I know that most people would just watch TV and movies and watching them to some extent is of course fine. But I just cringe to think that I had all that time and did so little that fed my spirit man; blaming it on my screaming headache and inability to think and focus. I exchanged true godly rest for mere laziness.
A new definition is what I’m getting at.
The lie that I see in this culture and one that unfortunately has been ingrained into my own psyche is a bad definition of productivity. The culture tends to dictate that there is no value in rest and things like prayer and fasting are only as good as what they show in isolation in the natural, which is no meaningful result. If you must have some down-time, its best to just watch TV or something else that promotes the celebrity-driven culture that we live in.
Instead of these lies, we must realize that the only thing that we are to be striving for is to become more like Christ and to see Him glorified. The culture’s definition of productivity doesn’t have that as its end. With this in mind, we must see Jesus of course as our model. Jesus was never in so much of a rush that He couldn’t help someone, He always took time to talk with His Father, He valued and studied the scriptures, fasting was a norm in His life, He made people His emphasis over programs or other activities. Lord help me to learn.
His yoke is easy and His burden is light. There’s freedom in allowing His schedule, rhythm of life and plans rule in our lives, for this we give praise.
----------------
The Rundown: Being sick was lame. I’m better now and Melissa’s getting there too. We got up to the central coast on Thursday somewhat delayed thanks to sickness and a couple car problems. All is well now though and I’m spending the week meeting with folks at First Baptist Church Paso, which is something I’m very much looking forward to, despite my exhaustion. Your prayers are appreciated as always. That’s enough for a rundown. If you are on the central coast hit me up this week to chill and if you are down south, I’ll be there again the last week of February.
I’ve been focusing a lot on fundraising as of late. So many of those dates that I had posted on my blog site have now come and past and the big things that I’ve wanted to accomplish in the office are now done as well. I have been so focused on fulfilling my commitment to Hidden With Christ that I question if I haven’t had a bit of a trade-off and have missed something along the way. In my foolish analysis of every single thing in my life, I too question my effectiveness in what I’ve been doing for the organization; walking a way from a few consecutive events with only $30 and a new Facebook friend.
All the while, spiritual things are taking the back seat. Last time I was in the states fund raising for Hidden With Christ, the most “productive” thing that I did was taking a week to fast about it. I haven’t done that and have actually, embarrassingly, only fasted once since my three week fast back in October. My prayer life has been a bit distracted and my time reading the Bible has been diminished as well. And yet at the end of the day, I’m exhausted from all my “productivity” with all the spiritual meat essentially stripped to a minimum in my life.
And its not only that. Those things that feed my soul in other ways have diminished as well; reading, writing (as you can tell by my infrequent posts) and playing guitar. In many ways, I see how the person that I’ve become in the last year has specifically been curtailed to my mode of life in Moshi. Its actually quite a good thing that I don’t have a TV in Moshi. Its also good that I can’t play DVDs on my laptop. It means that I feed my soul with literature and music. The only trade-off there is that I don’t know what’s going on with “The Office,” which is actually more manageable than you might think.
Melissa and I have been sick the last week. We were totally sidelined on Monday and Tuesday, just crashed out in Cody and Alaina’s living room. That productivity fix was put on the bench as well which makes me feel guilty. Its bad that I’ve convinced myself to be such a doer that I’m not even allowed to be sick. Equally as bad, is the fact that even with the time on my hands, I didn’t do a whole lot of spiritually minded things while I was on the couch. I know that most people would just watch TV and movies and watching them to some extent is of course fine. But I just cringe to think that I had all that time and did so little that fed my spirit man; blaming it on my screaming headache and inability to think and focus. I exchanged true godly rest for mere laziness.
A new definition is what I’m getting at.
The lie that I see in this culture and one that unfortunately has been ingrained into my own psyche is a bad definition of productivity. The culture tends to dictate that there is no value in rest and things like prayer and fasting are only as good as what they show in isolation in the natural, which is no meaningful result. If you must have some down-time, its best to just watch TV or something else that promotes the celebrity-driven culture that we live in.
Instead of these lies, we must realize that the only thing that we are to be striving for is to become more like Christ and to see Him glorified. The culture’s definition of productivity doesn’t have that as its end. With this in mind, we must see Jesus of course as our model. Jesus was never in so much of a rush that He couldn’t help someone, He always took time to talk with His Father, He valued and studied the scriptures, fasting was a norm in His life, He made people His emphasis over programs or other activities. Lord help me to learn.
His yoke is easy and His burden is light. There’s freedom in allowing His schedule, rhythm of life and plans rule in our lives, for this we give praise.
----------------
The Rundown: Being sick was lame. I’m better now and Melissa’s getting there too. We got up to the central coast on Thursday somewhat delayed thanks to sickness and a couple car problems. All is well now though and I’m spending the week meeting with folks at First Baptist Church Paso, which is something I’m very much looking forward to, despite my exhaustion. Your prayers are appreciated as always. That’s enough for a rundown. If you are on the central coast hit me up this week to chill and if you are down south, I’ll be there again the last week of February.
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